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Im such a shit boyfriend

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Well,I think things are actually and finally over with me and my gf.
And yes,all due down to me.

I know some people on here have said Im an arsehole for certain situations and yeah,I totally agree.I am.
Basically,the first 2 months were great.We had fun,were affectionate and were great together.I`ll admit I had some trouble getting over her past but I moved past that.

We had a drunken night where we had an arguement and I said it was over to her 3 times but I came back and tried to straighten things out with her and apologised because I was aggro after some geezer started on me and she said something to me.I thought we`d moved past that.

Then we found out she`d had a miscarriage a few weeks ago and I tried (or thought I tried) to support her but she says I wasnt supportive at all.
She says I was never a good bf as I never bought her loads of presents and spoilt her and went loads of places.But the way I saw it was I wanted her to be with me for me not what I bought or where I took her.
I didnt know how to support her at all with the miscarriage and after we was told about it I took her to her parents house and let her stay with her family as I thought that would be best for her,but looking back I should have stayed with her longer.

Then she seemed to be ok about it so I thought things would go back to normal,I couldnt really see it as a baby like she did as it was only 2 weeks.It sounds cold and harsh but thats the honest truth for me and my way of dealing with things is to cut,accept it happened and move straight on.

I didnt know how to support her as I didnt want to keep talking about it and bringing it up.Then today she tells me she never wanted to talk to me because I always changed the subject to me and my problems,which,honestly I probably did but it was always to do with her being a lot closer to her parents to talk about things and my parents being virtually non-existent to me.

These last few weeks Ive been depressed but so has she.I know she has,she lost all her fun personality,takes everything too seriously and is always stressed out.
I told her she cant deal with it on her own but she wont accept she has depression and tells me I cant tell her what she has.But she told me and I got myself some help.

We had a massive arguement today and she says I havent done anything to save our relationship despite me being the one to want to talk things through.And she said that shes supported me through everything Ive been through and the way I repay her is to end things.I was going to end them because I cant see how we can make things better and stop alll the arguements.

We had a massive arguement today that all started over her asking why Im talking to my friend whos a girl and why I get all pissed off when she talks to a boy.I dont I just ask who shes talking to on fb.I was suspicious once because she was talking to someone I thought was a boy but it turns out it was a girl,but when I walked past she quickly clicked it off so I wouldnt see,but I saw a name I thought was different.And Im not gonna lie I do have my worries because of her past.
She says shes been trying to get me to spend more time with her and go on days out to save us but I dont think that will make any difference.The problems will still be there.
And to be honest,I know shes had a lot to deal with,I just dont enjoy spending time with her anymore.Not the way she is now,completely depressed and not the girl I fell in love with.

I know shes depressed over everything but she wont seek help and thats why I just want to leave now.Im not happy and if Im not happy how can I help and support her?Id rather be on my own.

Also,when we talked the other night I asked her if she went out drinking without me,just her and her friends would she get with another guy if he tried it with her?
Her answer was yeah,probably.So when she asked me I said yes too.

Then last night she said I wouldnt give a shit if I lost you.She says it was joking but it didnt sound like that to me.
At the moment I just want to be on my own again but still want things to go back to how we were before,Ive never been that happy.
I know Im a shit bf so Im ready for all the slagging off.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest mate i got bored reading without paragraphs and gave up after a few sentences but just try and not beat yourself up about whatever has happened. People make mistakes and a lot of people stay in shitty relationships 'cause they're scared of being single again. Don't be another one of the miserable sheep, do whatever'll make you happy again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im not worreied about being single again.
    I just feel like everythings my fault and Ive let her down and hurt her over the miscarriage and drunken arguement.

    But,at the same time shes said to me shes not gonna get any help so what can I do?
    It sounds really bad but Ive lost my feelings for her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would print out what you've written at the top and give it to her.

    Bear in mind that a woman often becomes a mother when she learns that she is pregnant but a man often does not become a father until he see's his child for the first time - so it entirely natural that you had different reactions

    But also staying with her just because you dont want to be single isn't really a good enough reason either.

    She is clearly very upset and needs some time to get over this - at least a minimum of a couple of months so if your going to be there for her it needs to be for the long run.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im totally confused as to how Im feeling now.

    To start with I did want it to end,all the stress arguements and feeling like a spare part and having no fun with her anymore.

    But Ive been thinking about what she said and how hard it must be for her to go through this and how betrayed she must feel by me,and I feel so guilty and bad for abandoning her like this.

    I guess I do still have feelings for her,and I think I do want to be with her.I cant really inmagine my life without her.

    I just really feel a mess at the moment.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well,I finally made the decision to end it today.

    Shes blaming my friend who I text because I was asking and talking to her about the problems we were having for splitting us up,because she said in one text that some relationships just dont work out.
    Now theres gonna be all this bitching about how Im a cunt because I want to get with my friend who Ive always talked to things about,even though shes pregnant with my best mates kid.

    I just feel really guilty now,like Ive let her down and betrayed her but I just wasnt happy.
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