If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Socializing
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Not that I have a problem with it - I'm a very social person. But there are so many things stopping me from going out as much as I'd like to.
One, there's work. Some of my friends have jobs so I can't always go and see them, and then school work too which we all have a lot of.
Two, location. I live basically in the middle of nowhere - the other kids around me aren't exactly my best friends but I don't hate them. I'd go with them just outside, to the nearby park, but I don't think I have enough in common with them... or more, I don't think some of them would really appreciate my presence there. I always have thought they look down their noses at me in a way.
Three, money issues. My family isn't exactly rich, and I always hate asking for money off my mum ( I live with her ) but I don't have enough of my own, so naturally, getting anywhere is difficult because I have to get a bus or get a lift from my mum to get places. As I said, money issues - so getting a lift brings up issues of petrol. And since all my good friends live a car/bus ride away... you know. I don't want to have to ask them to come up to where I live all the time we want to see each other outside of school because that'd be really selfish.
Four, my mum goes out every night to see her boyfriend. This feels like it restricts my social life a lot because she always has to know where I am and what time I'm getting back every time I go somewhere - bearing in mind, I'm 15, and very mature for my age, so I know what's right and wrong.
I just wish that my mum wasn't so protective. When I ask her if I can go out, she's usually fine with it, but the fact that she goes out more than me is a bit weird. It feels like she wants me to stay at home, do all the chores etc...
It's hard having people round the house, its usually messy. My mum IS actually REALLY lazy, and I do what I can, but with schoolwork to do I don't always have that much time for chores, and it's not like I want to do them all the time - so if the house is a mess, I don't want people round. I understand my mum's got a job and gets tired and doesn't exactly want to do chores all the time either, but neither do I - I have school during the day, and she works at one, so surely we've both got the same kind of day? She complains she's tired but I know it's because she goes out every night.
I just feel so bitter about all this - I do have a job, but thing is, they ring me up when they want me to come in, so I don't get paid all that often, and I've spent all that I have currently =| I hate looking at all my friends photos on Facebook or wherever, and seeing that they have such great times... and I'm stuck inside. =|
I'm sure there's an easy solution to this - and yes, I've talked to my mum about her social life restricting mine, but she just got angry with me, which means that she doesn't want to talk about it anymore... which means I'll never get a straight answer out of her. She's very juvenile, often avoids subjects, doesn't bring them up... but shouldn't she be a bit concerned that I'm not always asking to go out places?
I do occasionally get the odd weekend to go out - but on alternate weekends every two weeks I go down to my dads, to see him. I'm very close to my dad - I like seeing him, so obviously I never want to cancel weekends with him, which means I can only ever go out on weekends alternately if at all. =|
Does ANYONE have any advice on this ?
One, there's work. Some of my friends have jobs so I can't always go and see them, and then school work too which we all have a lot of.
Two, location. I live basically in the middle of nowhere - the other kids around me aren't exactly my best friends but I don't hate them. I'd go with them just outside, to the nearby park, but I don't think I have enough in common with them... or more, I don't think some of them would really appreciate my presence there. I always have thought they look down their noses at me in a way.
Three, money issues. My family isn't exactly rich, and I always hate asking for money off my mum ( I live with her ) but I don't have enough of my own, so naturally, getting anywhere is difficult because I have to get a bus or get a lift from my mum to get places. As I said, money issues - so getting a lift brings up issues of petrol. And since all my good friends live a car/bus ride away... you know. I don't want to have to ask them to come up to where I live all the time we want to see each other outside of school because that'd be really selfish.
Four, my mum goes out every night to see her boyfriend. This feels like it restricts my social life a lot because she always has to know where I am and what time I'm getting back every time I go somewhere - bearing in mind, I'm 15, and very mature for my age, so I know what's right and wrong.
I just wish that my mum wasn't so protective. When I ask her if I can go out, she's usually fine with it, but the fact that she goes out more than me is a bit weird. It feels like she wants me to stay at home, do all the chores etc...
It's hard having people round the house, its usually messy. My mum IS actually REALLY lazy, and I do what I can, but with schoolwork to do I don't always have that much time for chores, and it's not like I want to do them all the time - so if the house is a mess, I don't want people round. I understand my mum's got a job and gets tired and doesn't exactly want to do chores all the time either, but neither do I - I have school during the day, and she works at one, so surely we've both got the same kind of day? She complains she's tired but I know it's because she goes out every night.
I just feel so bitter about all this - I do have a job, but thing is, they ring me up when they want me to come in, so I don't get paid all that often, and I've spent all that I have currently =| I hate looking at all my friends photos on Facebook or wherever, and seeing that they have such great times... and I'm stuck inside. =|
I'm sure there's an easy solution to this - and yes, I've talked to my mum about her social life restricting mine, but she just got angry with me, which means that she doesn't want to talk about it anymore... which means I'll never get a straight answer out of her. She's very juvenile, often avoids subjects, doesn't bring them up... but shouldn't she be a bit concerned that I'm not always asking to go out places?
I do occasionally get the odd weekend to go out - but on alternate weekends every two weeks I go down to my dads, to see him. I'm very close to my dad - I like seeing him, so obviously I never want to cancel weekends with him, which means I can only ever go out on weekends alternately if at all. =|
Does ANYONE have any advice on this ?
0
Comments
Just man it out until you're older and can get a better paying job/a car then problem solved no? I know this plan sucks for you in the short term but hanging out with your mates is not the be all end all anyway and come 5/10 years time you probably wont be friends with any of the same people anyway.
When i was 15 i used to hang out in a big group of us, yet im only mates with one of them still now and only occasionally bump into some of the others..so it doesnt really matter *that* much. More time to concentrate on your studies i guess/character building and all that jazz.
Thanks for the supportive words.