Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

My sister does NOTHING

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
:banghead: my sis is 18, i am 20 and we live with my mum and stepdad. currently i work part time (with overtime) and am saving up for travelling in july and uni in september. i also pay insurance to drive my mums car. because of this, my mum says she doesnt want me to pay board which i was shocked but happy about.

my sis on the other hand, has no job and no future plans for life. she sleeps in till 12 everyday and is going out with a boy 2 years younger than her who is..how shall we put this..a bit of a loser (gangs, crime etc)

anyway, my sis has tried to get a job...but her problem is that she wants to work in a clothes shop because she says she enjoys it. well with the credit crunch goin on, retail jobs arent exactly thriving. so for the past 6 or 7 months she has done absolutely nothing, and it doesnt seem to bother her one little bit. her typical day is something like get up late, go on computer for 5 hours, make something to eat, go back on computer, watch tv, eat, back on computer until 3am ish...she doesnt get dressed unless she is seeing her boyfriend...and even when he comes over all they do is watch tv, eat, sleep. this is driving me INSAAAAAANE. well me and my parents. because i spend more time in the house than my parents do, i have to put up with her stupid routine. i like to be tidy and keep myself busy so im always putting the washing out, cleaning, hoovering etc. i ask her to help and she just screams at me that shes busy (on the comp) weve had some pretty nasty arguments in the past about her lack of motivation towards anything in her life other than her boyfriend. she hurls horrible insults at me, most of which are bullshit like im messy!

to top it all off, she feels like shes totally in the right. and the fact that she makes her bed everyday seems to be good enough for her. she says she doesnt know how to do housework and doesnt seem intrested in learning. i think that my mum has babied her her whole life, which is why she feels like theres no point doing anything useful because she knows something else will do it for her. my mum has just lent her 500pound for a holiday to crete, my sis says she will owe her back but i dont see how if she doesnt have a job???? i mean i dont think my mum should have lent her the money. she also pays 30quid a month for my sisters phonebill, which was supposed to be changed to come out of my sis account when she turned 18 but so far it hasnt. her excuse is, how am i supposed to pay it if i havent got a job? to which i replied, dont go on fuckin contract!

it seems like im the only one who gets annoyed about this because my mum doesnt express her frustration as much as i do and i think this just makes me out to be the nagging annoying sister, but i do it cos i cant stand by and watch this shit go on for much longer.

sorry about the rant, im just sooooo mad. im banging my head against a brick wall because i am sick of doing her share of the housework and not getting any credit for it.:banghead:

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds like it's really frustrating, but it's going to be difficult to see how it can change if your parents know about it and don't seem to mind.

    Perhaps try talking to them as trying to address it with your sister is probably just going to cause more of a problem, as you've already seen.

    Does you mum take on board just how frustrating it is for you? Outside of getting her to realise that is there anything you can do to be out a bit more often and get more of a break from the situation?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she feels like theres no point doing anything useful because she knows something else will do it for her.

    Why not stop doing things for her? Leave her to her own devices, and see how long it takes until she needs clean clothes, more money to see her boyfriend, etc etc. She needs to realise that its unfair for you and your mum to run around after her all the time, and that she needs to stand on her own two feet.

    On another note, she'll probably be stubborn about getting any other job than in a shop but if you see any going, mention them to her and encourage her to do it. You yelling and grumbling at her all the time is probably making her worse.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jim V wrote: »
    Sounds like it's really frustrating, but it's going to be difficult to see how it can change if your parents know about it and don't seem to mind.

    Perhaps try talking to them as trying to address it with your sister is probably just going to cause more of a problem, as you've already seen.

    Does you mum take on board just how frustrating it is for you? Outside of getting her to realise that is there anything you can do to be out a bit more often and get more of a break from the situation?

    my sis has a foul temper, and just goes INSANE if anyone says something critical to her. so i think to some extent my mum just doesnt know how to approach her without antagonising her and starting ww3. but i tell my mum all the time how much shes upsetting me by being lazy.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Why not stop doing things for her? Leave her to her own devices, and see how long it takes until she needs clean clothes, more money to see her boyfriend, etc etc. She needs to realise that its unfair for you and your mum to run around after her all the time, and that she needs to stand on her own two feet.

    On another note, she'll probably be stubborn about getting any other job than in a shop but if you see any going, mention them to her and encourage her to do it. You yelling and grumbling at her all the time is probably making her worse.

    thats a good idea, only problem is that i know my mums not strong enough to just stop doing things for her whereas i would gladly. but i know it would be pointless cos my mum would end up softening and doing my sis chores for her. i know the yelling doesnt help but i am sooooooooo fed up.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well you won't know until you try, at least give it a shot.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My sister was like that.

    She's been kicked out now, good riddance.

    One day she will grow up (she's not on the streets, before anyone says, just having to live with her boyfriend until he gets sick of her).
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thats a good idea, only problem is that i know my mums not strong enough to just stop doing things for her whereas i would gladly. but i know it would be pointless cos my mum would end up softening and doing my sis chores for her. i know the yelling doesnt help but i am sooooooooo fed up.

    As harsh as this sounds, if your mum insists on doing things for your sister maybe she needs to continue to do it until she's had enough. You can only control your actions so don't do anything you think is unfair because you'll just end up resenting the situation even more.
    Is there any way you could try to convince your sister to start a retail NVQ or something like that? If she knows what she really wants to do it can't be easy for her that she's unable to do it. Or maybe you could get your mum to agree that she'll only pay for her phone if she volunteers for a certain number of hours a week in a charity shop, or contributes to the housework a lot more?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    put something nice and brightly coloured in with Her clothes on a hot wash, I hear pink is in this season. Any unwashed plates etc, scoop the crap into a nice little pile in the middle of her bed, take the fuses out of her computer, the list goes on, enjoy, enjoy!!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    joolz61 wrote: »
    put something nice and brightly coloured in with Her clothes on a hot wash, I hear pink is in this season. Any unwashed plates etc, scoop the crap into a nice little pile in the middle of her bed, take the fuses out of her computer, the list goes on, enjoy, enjoy!!

    :chin:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you did what Joolz suggested, the sister will simply retaliate.
Sign In or Register to comment.