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Aaaaaagggghhh!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I just found out today I wasn't shortlisted for a Research Fellowship at the Uni of Southampton :crying: :crying: :crying:

I just don't know what to do. Although I only technically got my PhD in March, I've been applying for jobs for a whole damn year without success, about 80 applications and only 4 interviews. What the fuck is wrong with me?? I've got a BA from Bristol, an MSc from UCL and now my PhD, a fairly prestigious essay prize, a publication in a well thought of journal, quite a bit of work experience and internships under my belt, but I seem to be knocked down at every turn. No-one wants me. I thought I might have been in with a chance of at least getting to interview with this one. A member of the History dept in Southampton was one of the judges of the essay prize, and got the department to support my application to the Leverhulme Trust for an Early Career Fellowship. I didn't get through on that one, but on the institution form the department sounded really enthusiastic and supportive of my research. At around the time I heard the bad news from Leverhulme, I found out that the School of Humanities was advertising for 5 one year fellowships, so I thought 'oh well, at least that gives me another shot at it'. My first thought was to just scale down my Leverhulme proposal (a two year project), but when I discussed this with my former PhD supervisor, he thought 12 months wasn't enough time to do a whole new piece of research, so he suggested I work out a proposal that was based around turning my thesis into a book. I wasn't entirely happy with this, but I e-mailed the head of the History department at Southampton to see what he thought, and he seemed to agree with my supervisor, so that's what I did. Now, I can't help wondering if I'd have had a better chance if I'd ignored my supervisor's advice - at least then I'd have been submitting something that I KNEW the department was enthusiastic about. :(:(:( Although of course, it's possible that it's the school and not the individual departments that do the shortlisting, so it may not have been a snub on their part but...:crying:

I should be happy and optimistic right now - I actually have a job interview on Monday for something else, but I'm just not feeling it at the moment and am sitting under a cloud of pessimism........

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Poor you :( That sucks and I can understand why you're finding it hard to be optimistic about the job interview on Monday. Give yourself a bit of time to wallow and feel blue about it (good excuse to indulge yourself in some chocolate/wine/night out/whatever) but then try to use the weekend to prepare as much as you can for the interview. I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason - it may be that you get the job and it turns out to be absolutely perfect for you, in which case won't you be glad you didn't succeed this time? Try to keep your chin up. It sounds like you've got a whole load of achievements behind you and you should be proud of them, take that knowledge of what you've already accomplished with you into the interview and give it your best shot. Good luck :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks StupidGirl :) I know I've got to keep positive, onwards and upwards, but it gets difficult in the middle of so many knocks. I've been working quite hard on my interview presentation, so fingers crossed I'll blow 'em away...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There's nothing wrong with you, there's just a dearth of fellowships at the moment. The number of applications for any sort of academic position is ridiculous, and it's not helped by universities having their undergraduate funding capped by HEFCE.

    Good luck with the interview on Monday and I hope you find something soon!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    There's nothing wrong with you, there's just a dearth of fellowships at the moment. The number of applications for any sort of academic position is ridiculous.

    Yeah, I know it's stupidly competitive at the best of times, especially in humanities, and this isn't the best of times. I've applied to a few of these things - LSE and Oxford, for example. Got rejected, but took it on the nose. I think I just thought with this one that since the History department was willing to fund 50% of the Leverhulme Fellowship, they must like me and I'd stand a better chance of getting to the interview stage than I did with any of the others, when I was just one totally random application among many. But I suppose it didn't help that this was humanities-wide, so it wasn't just other historians I was competing against. It's possible that the history department didn't even get a look in. Oh well. Thanks for the best wishes.
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