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GP to tell missus to leave for a bit and not worry about the baby?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
After months the missus has finally cracked and went to see the GP because of feeling suicidal again, this is because of me being moody, baby crying and the house not being homely enough and her GP has told her to have a week away at her mums and not to worry about feeling guilty as she isn't abandoning the baby. This was almost three weeks ago since she left me and the little one without saying anything and leaving us with no money, she's now gone on a spur of the moment holiday and tells me that she wants to take things slowly with regards to looking after the baby and doesn't know when she's coming home.
I have spoken to the health visitor and she seemed a little concerned that the GP has told her this and that the missus isn't interested in doing bonding classes and feels that it's important for the missus to be at home with us as the longer she stays away the less of a bond she will have with the baby etc. The missus is very vague when it comes to talking about things that the doc has said and I can't help but wonder now if she is trying to stay away for as long as possible as she is living a life of Ryley at the moment and seems very happy with us living in separate houses, do you think a GP would really say this, it doesn't sound very professional, but then I'm not a doctor so I dunno.
Also would it be possible for me to claim a lone parent benefit as I am not longer working due looking after my son and the missus isn't bothered about whether or not we get money, she took on the role of bread winner and I agreed to stay at home with baby but she dose nothing to find a job and never bothers to call the job centre or reply to letters from them and they end up stopping payments and sometimes we go for a couple weeks without money and food and it's really become frustrating that she only bothers about it when she wants to bother about it and I need to have money to pay for bills and to feed us. Yes we are still together but living in separate houses.
I have spoken to the health visitor and she seemed a little concerned that the GP has told her this and that the missus isn't interested in doing bonding classes and feels that it's important for the missus to be at home with us as the longer she stays away the less of a bond she will have with the baby etc. The missus is very vague when it comes to talking about things that the doc has said and I can't help but wonder now if she is trying to stay away for as long as possible as she is living a life of Ryley at the moment and seems very happy with us living in separate houses, do you think a GP would really say this, it doesn't sound very professional, but then I'm not a doctor so I dunno.
Also would it be possible for me to claim a lone parent benefit as I am not longer working due looking after my son and the missus isn't bothered about whether or not we get money, she took on the role of bread winner and I agreed to stay at home with baby but she dose nothing to find a job and never bothers to call the job centre or reply to letters from them and they end up stopping payments and sometimes we go for a couple weeks without money and food and it's really become frustrating that she only bothers about it when she wants to bother about it and I need to have money to pay for bills and to feed us. Yes we are still together but living in separate houses.
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Youll be entitled to lone parent income support and housing benefit/council tax benefit. I would go to your local job centre and apply ASAP
You can claim housing benefit (if rental property) regardless of whether she's there or not, same with council tax benefit. You can claim income support as a lone parent, but only if she has "abandoned" you or the relationship has ended. You're going to have a job proving that one to the DWP unless she tells you that she's not coming back. It might be worth you arranging to have the child tax credit and child benefit paid into your bank account, so at least you have something.
As for the emotional side, I'm really less sure what to say. Sometimes a break is good for women suffering from post-natal depression, but I understand from your previous posts that your partner's had a long history of depression. I don't necessarily think that a break's a bad thing for her, but if she's spending all your money then that's the thing that needs to be sorted out. It depends on you and how much you're able to cope with.
I hope it sorts itself out.
Yeah she has had a history of depression and this same thing happened before but I have to consider my son first and cannot have him growing up in an unstable family with his mother coming and going and leaving it all to me to deal with when she feels it gets to much. The frustrating thing is that she see's herself as always being hard done by and tends to look to blame other things, I think she needs to take a look and face her own demons otherwise this will keep on happening.