Answering women back...

First off girl, the majority of this is all your fault. Yes you read that correctly. I’ve lost count of the number of women who wander around dating Douchebags. You can spot them a mile away. In case your wondering about my definition of a Douchebag, let me break it down for you.

http://www.fashionshanty.com/images/emo/girls-emo-haircut.jpg

Douchebag

http://www.hipkingdom.com/cms_nl/images/stories/feature/2009-02/metrosexual2.jpg

Douchebag.

http://www.that-dj.com/wp-content/uploads/image/chav.JPG

Oh Jesus do I even have to say anything?

The point is, none of these people look like men or in the case of the last one, qualify as human beings. I know there will be people reading this who look at those pictures and see themselves and are saying things like, “but this is an expression of my inner self.” In which case you are probably correct because your inner self is a twat.

So anyway girls you pick these numpties and then get all shocked when they don’t turn out to be the knight in shining armour you were expecting. Weirdly though, people like me will spot these people from a mile away and immediately know they are going to be shit boyfriend material which, bizarrely, in essence is why you picked them.

For further information, I suggest you read www.laddertheory.com

You are going to deny that it works that way, but largely it is bob on. Now at some point, a guy will come along who fulfils all the criteria you say that you want. I pretty much guarantee the majority of you will screw it up though all sorts of bizarre methods that the poor guy will never see coming. This will normally be down to personal issues that you have in your past and have sod all to do with him. He’ll never know though because it’s not like you’d be open enough to tell him.

Now to reply to each point made in turn, minus the ones that are just plain insulting.

There Never wrong and always right.

They always have to have there own way.

There manipulative.

I thought I’d start with this first because it is the thing that sticks out from the rest the most. Women far outdo men in the above category. By large, men will do anything to avoid the constant nagging and bullshit that come along with any fight with a woman. It’s like nails down a blackboard, we simply can’t deal with it because you guys will go on, and on and on.

I have seriously had a situation where I tried to escape into the loo to escape one girls manipulative tirade, only for her to use a two pence piece to unlock the door FROM THE OUTSIDE.

Unless you are a really strong man, it’s quite easy to cave into the ridiculous demands the opposite sex will put on you. And then they wonder why they’ve been dumped.

They can treat us like shit and get away with it.

Oh boy. No we really can’t. Please read the above. First of “being treated like shit” is subjective. We all have interpretations of how a scenario plays out and who is in the wrong. To give you and example of this, when a recent relationship fell apart, I asked around 30-50 people (men, women, family, friends, strangers) what their opinions were of what happened. The answer came back as either, “what the fuck?”, “she’s massively overreacted” or “she’s fucking mad” with the majority being in the latter category.

And before you ask, yes ladies, I went into minuscule detail of what happened to make sure their was no biases and to do so was fucking embarrassing. But thing is, to the girl in question, it’s totally real to her. So ask yourself every once in a while, are you being treated poorly or are you acting like a prat?

They start trying to control our life's.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! When a man is in a relationship, women attempt to control every little thing about them. One of my relationships ended because I went to help a friend out with his mortgage. Another had a massive row with me because I was out for one of my best friend’s birthdays and I ended up staying out later then anticipated because they had a load of stuff organised I had no clue about. And YES I did ring up and tell her what was going on and to make it even funnier – I wasn’t even staying with her that night. Fuck off!

They will put you up on a pedle stool then knock you back down again.

I’ve never put anyone on a pedle stool as I think their stability is subjective. However, if we’re talking Pedestals then we put you there for a reason. You see, we genuinely want the relationship to work. You fill us in on just how perfect you are and we start thinking, “Holy Shit! This might actually be the one!” And then you give us a few weeks then WHAM! Lunatic central.

Then when you’re busy behaving like an idiot, you’re surprised we don’t hold you in such high regard.

You always have to go to them after an argument/break-up, they will never come to you.

That’s because there is absolutely no point in talking to you until you are ready. All that will happen is we will go over the same points over and over again until our heads pop. We find it miles easier to just forgive and forget then you do while, you have to draw every last fucking breath out of an argument.

As far as break ups are concerned, it’s a double edged sword. If we don’t like you, why are we contacting you? On the flip side, if we do still like you and you’re the one who finished it, if we come after you begging, in my experience, we’re not going to get you back anyway and will at most be friendzoned. So then we can watch you nail other guys while we want to be with you. Thanks but no thanks.

They Show off in front of there mates.

We have a laugh. A L-A-U-G-H. Stop being so touchy.

They feel like they don't need to make and effort to compliment you once they've got you smitten.

Have you ever tried to complement a woman? Seriously? It’s fucking painful.

(Me) You look stunning.

(Her) Oh shut up.

(Me) No seriously, I love every bit about you.

(Her) You don’t mean it.

Well if I don’t mean it, why the fuck am I saying it? For fun? Because I can think of a million and one things I’d rather be doing then wasting my time complementing someone who doesn’t want to be complemented. And another thing, if I think you’re gorgeous, I don’t care if no one in the known universes has ever said it to you before, I’M saying it and I believe it otherwise I wouldn’t.

There Lazy as fuck.

Granted, some of us are but so are some of you but I think this is an appropriate time to bring up something that really annoys me. Women in the bedroom. By God the majority of you are lazy and shit. No it’s ok, really! I’ll just hump away here for the next hour or so while you find various comfortable positions to lie in and just wait for the five minutes you spend on top so I can avoid my legs dropping off.

I reckon you’re looking at around 10% of women are actually any bloody good.

On another note, how many girls stay with douchebags who they fell out of love with a long time ago just because it's easy and comfortable. Yes - that's your fault too! You sit there and moan about them for hours on end but yet you're still there! Get some guts and move on.

Your not aloud to speak to boys but there aloud to speak to girls.

Really? Is that why the majority of women’s best friends are men? You know the one’s who want to fuck them and they love having the attention off but will never get any. Yes we do know why your ugly bloke friend is there.

They don't text back on time. (it dose NOT take long to reply to a msg)

Now I hate text messages and I hate them for three main reasons.

1) They are a pain in the ass to type.

2) People who text me in text message speak. It fucking drive me nuts. Don’t you realise you come across as a complete illiterate cretin? It is not hard to spell shit properly and I do not want to spend the next three hours decoding your message.

3) People say text messages are cheap. Not when you send them by the hundreds they don’t.

Bottom line when it comes to the statement about texts, did you ever think we were working? Or sleeping? Or taking a shit? Or the fact we can’t reply to “LOL?” Or that you’re fucking boring me? Here’s novel idea, if you have nothing to say, shut the fuck up and if you do, pick up the fucking phone and call me!

And learn to fucking spell.

They expect you to be a mind reader.

Seriously, do women know themselves that little? Here’s a regular relationship conversation:-

(Me) You alright love?

(Her) ….

(Me) What’s wrong?

(Her) Nothing.

(Me) Well obviously something’s up. You look annoyed and you’re not really talking to me.

(Her) No I’m fine.

Five days later you’ll probably discover that you forgot to do something really trivial or even worse, you should have thought to do something that you didn’t. I told one of my ex’s this so many times you wouldn’t believe and now I’m telling you all. Men and remembering household tasks do not mix. We WILL do them but you WILL have to tell us. If we forget, REMIND US preferably while we can still do something about it. 99% of the time, we’ve forgotten to do it because you’re screaming at us over something else.

They think with there Dick.

But at least we do think.

Selfish, it's all about them and never ever about us.

It has to be a 2 way thing and they seem to think its a 1 way thing.

And we’re right. Women’s way or bust.

They are Immature and childish.

See this makes me laugh. Apparently, women mature quicker then men. No. Women mature quicker then men in certain areas only. Yes we may like to watch TV shows that you think is childish or have hobbies you don’t understand but in terms of relationships, I’m yet to see a man hound a woman for incorrect placement of decorative cushions. In fact the mere existence of decorative cushions proves how mad you really are.

They wanna check through our phones, e-mails, facebook etc but dont want us to check through theres.

I have never, EVER gone through a girlfriends phone, e-mail or facebook because I feel it’s a total invasion of privacy. I have, however, had girls go through mine which is absolute proof you are totally wrong.

They always have to go that extra bit further too piss you off all the time.

It's alright for them to say something to you but when you make a comment back its fucking world war 3.

First off, women’s comebacks are by in large, shit and full of holes. Secondly as previously discussed, we don’t want to be discussing this in the first place. We really don’t see why leaving the dishes till Saturday morning matters or why it is a personal attack on you as a person. The section you are talking about are the point where the man has tried to give his point of view multiple times without her actually listening and is forced to repeat “fuck off” continuously until the girl runs of crying. This is but another tactic to make you feel bad regardless of whether you are right or wrong.

Tight with there money.

Firstly, why the fuck should we pay for you anyway? If you get anything you should be grateful. Thing is though, if you do treat a girl well in this regard, “thank yous” soon stop and expectations take their place.

They pick little things out about you to make you self conscious.

We don’t have to, you’re so full of self image issues you wreck yourselves but pin the blame on us. Even complementing a girl can have ramifications if the girl decides the complement is not quite the term she was looking for.

They are so insecure and always think your using them or are gonna play the dirty.

So no women cheat. Right.

They can not fully commit as much as we do.

No see, we actually want to commit. But to the RIGHT person. When we go out with you, we really want the relationship to be a success but slowly but surely you drive us mad till we leave, then we get told we have “commitment issues.” You guys take no responsibility whatsoever for shit going wrong.

They Bully you physically and mentally cause they know there bigger and stronger than you. If you stand up too them you don't stand a chance soo whats the point.

Yes because you are but weak and feeble minded girls. Way to shit all over feminism.

Apparently girls can't do certain things, because well there girls.

You mean like mentally or physically stand up to guys like you said above?

Basicaly can't live with them, But can't live with out the little buggers.

I’d say one of those is true.

I know this has been a really long winded rant, but I am sick and tired of this Heat magazine, “What women want” anti-male bullshit that is being lapped up by mindless drones to the point where men are constantly being made to feel inferior on a daily basis. Yes we, as men, fuck up. But what pisses me off is while men like me will look at the breakdown of a relationship and say, “I could have done X better and if I did it over again, I really wouldn’t do Y” woman are busy blaming the total relationship breakdown on the man as if they never did fuck all wrong.

You want to talk about relationships being a two way street? Well the breakdown in a relationship is too. Now get your head out of your ass and stop trying to play for sympathy all the time. Some of you wouldn’t know honesty if it slapped you in the face.

And yes I know not all women are like this. I'm just pissed at the ones who are.