Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.

Being hit by a 3 year old

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
What do people suggest if you have a 3 year old hitting you or throwing metal toy cars at you?

Not in this situation currently but was recently staying with a family where their boy (and only child in the house) was fairly violent at times.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Usually threaten to tell their mummy lol 'and she won't be very happy'!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i was in a situation like this with a slightly older boy for the best part of a year, i found it so hard *this will sound so stupid* but there were occations when i'd just go to my room and cry...its suprising how hard a 4 year old can kick you...

    I used to tell his mother, and let her deal with it, even though i was sort of in a position as an older sister, i still wasn't an actual sister, i was just staying in their house and i didn't feel it was my place to do anything other than tell him that it was bad...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell their parents and hope whoever is in charge of the child will discipline them.

    If it was a case of the parent going, "Oh look at little x, aren't they funny?" Then I'd have no option but to open up a can of Jack Bauer. :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe not the best technique but it seemed to work for me, my younger cousin is/was a little shit to be quite honest and was once stood on the arm of a sofa next to me threatening to kick me in the head. I just replied that if he was to do that i'd throw him over there >>, He decided to go for it anyway, so i threw him. Not far and not hard just pretty much guided his leg so he fell on the floor. Before the child abuse brigade get involved it didnt hurt him or anything just shocked him and i think scared him in to realising he doesnt own the world.
    He's still the little shit to his parents and some other members of my family but he's nothing short of respectful to me.
    So my advice is, call their bluff with something that will adversely affect them. Hard to tell what but im sure the situation will arise at some point.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^^^ My boyfriend would do the same as you, icey. He's of the belief that you should fight fire with napalm :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My best friends child kept on repeatedly hitting me so i threated to pour my (then cold) cup of tea over his head - i didn't actually do it but it kind of made any impression - threatening to tell his mum wouldnt' have resolved anything really as he thinks its very funny when his mum tells him off and sometimes he behaves badly just to get a reaction out of her.

    Later when he had tipped the entire contents of my hand bag over the hall floor i told him very quietly that he had to pick everything up and put it back and that i was very upset - i think that made more of an impression.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I'd over dramatise the pain. ie pretend to really cry and tell them that you didn't think it was nice at all and that nice people don't hit/throw things at eachother. And tell them that you're not going to play with them or stay in the same room as them if they are going to hit you. (And walk out of the room). Or taking the toy they are throwing off them and telling them that they if they can't play nicely with it they're not going to play with it at all.

    And of course making them aplologise.

    And involve the parent if they are there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would say "OI - no hitting. Thats naughty" or "no throwing things" and take the car off them.

    I dont have a problem with gently telling other peoples kids off and I would be perfectly OK with someone saying the same to one of my kids if they were being a sod.
    I think its good for kids to know they can get in trouble off anyone who sees it if they dont behave.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Let's see who can throw the metal toy harder.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    damn it strubbles you got there first
    i was thinking that
    tbh, i was in this situation when i was coaching 4 yr olds tennis
    there was one that though it was funny to punch me, and as i'm quite a tall guy and their quite short it was in an area no guy wants to be hit, EVER!:no: :eek:
    so when ever he tried it i grabbed his arm before he could do it and told him if he was to do it again then i would get his mum down and she would take him away, the amount of times i sat him down so he would stop, but eventually it came to it and i actually got his mum down and she gave him a right bollocking
    my advice is basically get the parents involved
    or let micheal jackson or gary glitter have them;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If a kid was throwing toy cars at me i'd pick it up and throw it out an open window as far as i could. Then hide the toy cars for when he got back.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As SSC said, I would have no problem in someone telling ma boy off if he was being an arse, and I would love to do the same, however due to some dodgy parents I don't, however most the kids I know there parents are brillaint and don't mind

    The problem arises when the parents themself do not disapline a child, I've heard the excuse "oh they're just playing" so many times, a child thumping another child is NOT playing, a child lobbing lumps of metal (cars) at people is NOT playing, those parents should be shot.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd hold their arms down the sides of their body, tell them to calm down, and keep them there until they stopped behaving in that way.

    If they did it again, they'd go on the naughty spot.

    If they did it again, I'd cut their arms off. ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    shake it till it stops?









    only joking, i have had this with my neices, just tell them really firmly to stop, and say they cant have any sweets! generally sorts my lot out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd hold their arms down the sides of their body, tell them to calm down, and keep them there until they stopped behaving in that way.

    If they did it again, they'd go on the naughty spot.
    id be fucking pissed off if someone else did that sort of discipline on my child.
    Thats too far for anyone except immediate family
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    id be fucking pissed off if someone else did that sort of discipline on my child.
    Thats too far for anyone except immediate family

    I was actually thinking of my cousin and niece, so point accepted.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well if its ok with the childs parents and youve got an understanding, i guess thats different. I do think physical restraint is very extreme though
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd never restain another child unless absolutely nesaccery eg (violent cadet) etc, only my own child.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't get me wrong, I'd tell them to stop first. I'd only do the above if they failed to take any notice.

    And to be honest, if a friends' child was doing the same, but my friends either weren't around, or were letting it continue without taking action, I'd likely take the same stance. How you bring up your children is up to you, and it is your right to do as you see fit. But if they started being violent toward me, or a child in my care, then I'd stop them using non-violent means.

    Though I dare say you'll swear at me again and tell me how wrong I am. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't get me wrong, I'd tell them to stop first. I'd only do the above if they failed to take any notice.

    And to be honest, if a friends' child was doing the same, but my friends either weren't around, or were letting it continue without taking action, I'd likely take the same stance. How you bring up your children is up to you, and it is your right to do as you see fit. But if they started being violent toward me, or a child in my care, then I'd stop them using non-violent means.

    Though I dare say you'll swear at me again and tell me how wrong I am. :)

    Questionable whether is exactly non-voilent pinning someones arms to their side. I mean, I get what you're saying, but I think you might be likely to wind up a kid more making them feel totally helpless because you're restricting their movement. But then you know the kids so they probably understand what you're doing and that you'll let go if they calm down... If it were a child that didn't know you do well it would probably just scare them silly and stress them out.

    I don't think it's really a good idea to stop a bad behaviour by demonstrating a bad behaviour yourself, or doing something the child could then copy or think is how you're supposed to interact.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've never had to do it, to be honest. But I would - all children are different, and whilst some will improve their behaviour when it's pointed out that such behaviour is wrong, there is only so much you can do to reason with a 3 year old, especially when they are hyper - for want of another word meaning the opposite of calm.

    Demonstrating bad behaviour... I guess that depends on your own point of view. Is it worse for a child to be violent toward other people, and throw metal objects at them - or is it worse to forcibly stop them doing wrong, until they have calmed down enough to listen to what you're saying?

    Children should have all the freedom in the world - but if they are so engrossed in what they are doing, and aren't listening to the authoritative voice of reason, and right and wrong, then their behaviour has to stop until they are back at a point where they will take on-board what is said.

    IMO.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In my particular case the kid had at least 40 to 50 toy cars so you'd have to hide or throw out a lot of cars to make a difference to him.

    Sometimes when the kid behaved badly I'd resort to tickling him a lot which would at least get him to stay more then arms length away from me for a while.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    DG wrote: »
    In my particular case the kid had at least 40 to 50 toy cars so you'd have to hide or throw out a lot of cars to make a difference to him.

    Depending how good your aim is, one may be certainly enough!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    DG wrote: »
    What do people suggest if you have a 3 year old hitting you or throwing metal toy cars at you?

    Not in this situation currently but was recently staying with a family where their boy (and only child in the house) was fairly violent at times.

    Someday that child is going to have to learn the valuable lesson that you shouldn't start fights with people bigger than you, maybe you'll be the one to teach them;)
Sign In or Register to comment.