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Feel like I'm on the verge of another breakdown

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
I don't have time to go to my doctor, but I'm worried that it's going to get unbearable soon.

I'm still self-harming, lying to my friends and family, and eating rubbish food that just gets thrown up 10 minutes later. I can't do this any more.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    don't know what to say, but <3 for you :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    don't know what to say, but <3 for you :(
    Thank you. I'm sorry this is relentless self-pity I just don't really have anyone IRL to talk to...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well there are people here who will listen, and who will be reading even if they don't feel they have anything helpful to comment with *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you need to make time to see your doctor...lunchtime, before work. you are priority, so make seeing the doctor priority
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't get an appointment. I have too much in my diary. I've just spent 20 mins on the phone to the surgery and I can't see anyone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hugs.

    I don't really have anything else useful to say but hugs.

    I'll now join in the nagging and tell you to go to the doctors. If they're notorious late running like mine then getting one of the very first appointments in the morning or the start of the afternoon clinic can make the whole process much speedier.

    Now reread your post and spot the avoidance sentance. There will be lots in your diary which may be important and not cancellable at first glance, but 80% of that is less important than getting some help and avoiding a breakdown if at all possible.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i send hugs too. kate you're still my hero btw :) i hope this rough time you're going through doesn't last long and i wish you all the best. i agree with what others have said. i know you have tons of other commitments but if you leave it and just feel worse and worse than all those other commitments will eventually suffer anyway. the best thing you can do is to take care of yourself and recognise the warning signs (which you have!) and go to the gp x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piccolo wrote: »
    I can't get an appointment. I have too much in my diary. I've just spent 20 mins on the phone to the surgery and I can't see anyone.

    Are you too busy to see anyone or is it the doctor won't see you? Look, let me tell you from experience, having too much in your diary, or too much work on, should not stop you from going to the doctor. I had lots in my diary last month when I was 7 weeks pregnant, hadn't even been to the doctor to confirm it, had no time, had only just done home test. But i wasn't long throwing "my diary" - as in work- to one side when I saw blood!
    sadly lost my baby (2nd miscarriage) at 10 weeks. Bottom line, absolutely nothing should come before your health. If that dr won't see you, go to another one. I'm still off work, a month now, so all that important work just doesn't seem so important anymore. PLease look after yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww piccolo hunni you realy need to look afterself please see dr
    Hope youre ok.
    P.m me or email me if you want chat.:wave: :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm really sorry to hear that you're having problems.

    As a sabb can you get access to all the facilities that permanent union employees get? At my union we can use the counselling service if we need and we can get help from University HR in getting counselling or extra support.

    I don't know whether you need to go to the doctor or not- depends if you need a sicknote, truth be told- but do tell someone. You know what you would tell your students in this situation, so follow your own advice!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well there are people here who will listen, and who will be reading even if they don't feel they have anything helpful to comment with *hug*

    I have nothing to say but i hope for the best and hope you feel better soon, im always up for a good listen i find it more interesting than talking mostly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well there are people here who will listen, and who will be reading even if they don't feel they have anything helpful to comment with *hug*

    I second this sentiment. :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sending some hugs heartbeat.gif
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks. Just getting a bit low, and the worse I feel the more forced-cheery and irritating I become to everyone else which makes me feel worse again *sigh*.

    change of scene this weekend for a conference, so hopefully that will make things a bit easier for a day or so. I have got permission from my colleagues to take a morning off to see a doctor, too, so that's half way there. Will try calling tomorrow to see if they can see me next week.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good luck with the doctors. The change in scenery may help a lot, too. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dunno if someone else has sugguested it, as usual only read the first few but ring up as soon as they open no matter what time and ask for an emergency appointment and say when you want it instead of asking if they have it.. just be confident and dont put the phone down untill they give you one for sometime soon. they arnt that full! is there another doctors nearby? try with them..

    xxxx hope you feel better soon xxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know we're not as close as we used to be kate but i still think you're ace and you're a lot stronger than you realise. keep talking to us.
    it's going to be ok.
    x x x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg hi wrote: »
    i know we're not as close as we used to be kate but i still think you're ace and you're a lot stronger than you realise. keep talking to us.
    it's going to be ok.
    x x x
    What Janey said.

    *cuddles*.

    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks all. I have now spoken to someone about it; still waiting for an appointment with a doctor, though. Might just ignore that I have moved and go back to where I'm registered in London as it is right next to work and the GP surgery near my parents' was massively unhelpful last time I lived there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're still registered there then it shouldn't be a problem in the slightest.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just spied this and hope you're feeling a bit better :) I vote for going to which ever doctor is most helpful, I only ever go to the doctor here if I'm desperate coz the woman is a total plank, I just go to the one at home where I'm a holiday patient. Big hugs xxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Right, going to have to go to the dr. I can't even deal with work right now, my colleagues are being arseholes and I need a fucking break...

    *breathe* thanks everyone. x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    After a panic attack on the way into work and a silly incident with a colleague being mean about my appearance, I have finally made an appointment with a GP.

    Thanks all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Went to the GP today, who was good about it. Suggested supervised CBT, not intensive 1-to-1 treatment. I don't want intensive treatment right now, I'm trying to get a job, I can't have something like that counting against me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is the first job where I've been honest about my disability, so do what we all do: lie through your teeth. It took me a long time to decide to be honest and I only was because of my sickness record (which isn't actually very bad).

    I'd love to say that working in the welfare field makes it easier, but it doesn't. The most intolerant place I've ever worked was a major national charity. I wish I could say which one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piccolo wrote: »
    Went to the GP today
    :yes:

    Well done! Can often be hard just to get to the appointment. Sound's like it was a positive experience, If you haven't seen it already - check out our page on CBT.


    What makes you say that more intensive treatment would go against you?

    Take care and keep posting with how things go for you.

    :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the link. I had a short, targeted course of CBT in the past, when I was 18, to get me through sitting my A Level exams so I understand it (ish).
    Harry23 wrote: »
    What makes you say that more intensive treatment would go against you?
    I think it would count against me because I'd need time off work to commit to it, and that's a lot to ask of an employer. I'm applying for jobs at the mo, and declaring long-term illness on application forms when they ask but I find it very daunting to do that.
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