is he bored of me and my body?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
I need help, basically cause Im too embarassed to talk to any of my friends about it. Me and my boyfriend are extremley close and I know that he masturbates over porn and other girls (girls at work, uni, me, people he knows etc) I dont have a problem with him doing it over porn at all, but asked him to tone it down on doing it over other girls.

anyway, the other week I noticed hed been searching on google for nude pictures of a girl he went to school with (they went around at the time and he told me about it before), and I got a bit upset but he told me he was just curious and wanted to look at them, which I would be if it was someone who went to my school. It was forgotten about.

But then the other day I looked in his email and saw that a friend of his had emailed him the nude pictures of the said girl. I was very upset when discovering them, seeing nude pictures of another girl in your boyfriends inbox isnt nice. I asked him whether he had masturbated over them and he said yes. I was very upset over this as he knew that I would be upset as wed argued about it when he searched for them on google.

But I just dont know how mad I should be? should I be mad? is he bored of me?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How old is he, by the way?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why are you looking in his email?!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hes 21
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont know if the point is that she looked in his email but the fact that she found the pictures there. I'd be very pissed off. Its not like its just an actrees or a porn star that he likes but an actual person that he knows and seems to have some interest in.

    Of course its possible that he isnt bored of you and just wants to have his cake and eat it but i'd definately talk to him bout this... seriously, and if he doesnt leave it alone, then reconsider your relationship.

    If he respects your relationship he wouldnt be doing this
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    id be fuming. Thats a real girl he knows. Id be fuming about the lack of respect for her privacy and the lack of respect for commitment to me.
    Porn is one thing, but this is another
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yea, I think it's a bit out of order too. It's not just plain stimulus it's real fantasy and I would be paranoid that my partner runs of with her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In all honesty that would REALLY hurt my feelings.
    I bet it has nothing at allll to do with you, though.
    I'm really sorry you're going through this :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why are you looking in his email?!

    I don't think that's the issue here. Maybe she had women's intuition that her bf was up to no good? Maybe she just wanted friends e-mail address which he had.:chin:

    The point is he's been doing something that's way out of order.

    A wank, in my view, is something that requires very little effort. The fact that your man has been using searhing google and asking friends for this chicks pic is bit much - Is he obsessed with this bird?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have to agree with Harmless.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's not on at all!
    There is a simply ridiculous amount of porn out there, of all types, and plenty of amatuer stuff if that's what floats his boat.

    To be whacking off to photos of somebody he knows whilst in a relationship really doesn't seem right to me.

    IMO you've got every right to be pissed off with him.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline! No morality! No respect! New ForestPosts: 14,928 Part of the furniture
    iId be fuming about the lack of respect for her privacy

    Well to be fair the OP has shown a lack of respect for his privacy. Snooping on Emails is wrong.

    But then this cock sounds like doesn't have any respect for the OP AT ALL.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Did he fancy the girl he went to school with? Could well be that there's some unresolved issues with her, especially if there was unrequited love.

    It doesn't really matter whether he's bored of you or not, if you're resorting to snooping in his inbox then there's no trust. Without trust you have nothing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    Did he fancy the girl he went to school with? Could well be that there's some unresolved issues with her, especially if there was unrequited love.

    It doesn't really matter whether he's bored of you or not, if you're resorting to snooping in his inbox then there's no trust. Without trust you have nothing.

    I often think to myself. Is it justifiable if she finds evidence there? Similar to, the police arrests someone on suspicion (snooping in emails), and finds out he is the culprit (finds the evidence in the inbox). Of course, snooping in the inbox of other people is totally uncool, but if it turns out he is having an affair on the side (general example, not in OPs boyfriend now). Is it ok then? Because then he is an ass who would lead her on, and she had the strong suspicion somethings not right here and found the evidence to leave him (because it sucks to break up and then it turns out there was nothing).

    I like to think it is. Like the police having a search warrant. If they find nothing, everyone is like booo! police invades privacy, but if they find drugs, weapons and hostages it's yay police!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's justifiable in that it proves that her lack of trust was with good reason. Beyond that, it's irrelevant.

    If you have so little trust in your partner than you snoop in their email inbox, or pry through their phone, then your relationship's going nowhere. If you find something it's ended, if you don't find something you'll keep going until either you do find something or you piss your partner off so much that they chuck you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    It's justifiable in that it proves that her lack of trust was with good reason. Beyond that, it's irrelevant.

    If you have so little trust in your partner than you snoop in their email inbox, or pry through their phone, then your relationship's going nowhere. If you find something it's ended, if you don't find something you'll keep going until either you do find something or you piss your partner off so much that they chuck you.

    :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think it's always wrong to fancy someone that you know. Mike knows that I fancy a number of my friends (admittedly my female ones) and he loves it. I know (from our sex talk) that he thinks a number of them are hot too and it something we enjoy sharing.

    However, given you told him that you wanted him to tone it down with people he knows (or knew), then that does make it a bit different. If I thought that he didn't like me thinking about my friends like that, then I would try very hard to avoid doing so - and I would expect him to do the same.

    I'm sure if I found naked pics of an ex-gf I would be upset by them - it is all about trust and it might be worth biting the bullet and talking to him about it openly.
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