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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i feel like im stuck in a rut and have no one to talk to. my self harm is starting to worry me and i feel it's getting out of control.
i cut on sat night after 2 weeks of not doing it. i wanted it to be really obvious. i told my friend who knows about it on sunday and said we need to have a big chat about it. today im feeling crap about it. i kept trying to talk about it to him, by saying how rubbish i felt and that my arm hurt. but my other mate kept joining in the convo.
his computers down so i cant talk to him tonight. i have no credit either.
its bringing me down enough that i want to do it again. the annoying thing is when im around people im generally really happy so no one knows how crap i feel on the inside. i feel to stupid. i wonder how i got here again. and cant see myself getting out of it
i cut on sat night after 2 weeks of not doing it. i wanted it to be really obvious. i told my friend who knows about it on sunday and said we need to have a big chat about it. today im feeling crap about it. i kept trying to talk about it to him, by saying how rubbish i felt and that my arm hurt. but my other mate kept joining in the convo.
his computers down so i cant talk to him tonight. i have no credit either.
its bringing me down enough that i want to do it again. the annoying thing is when im around people im generally really happy so no one knows how crap i feel on the inside. i feel to stupid. i wonder how i got here again. and cant see myself getting out of it
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I have dealt with depression for a few years, which has recently got worse. I really strongly suggest this site: http://www.depressionforums.org - i joined it recently and found it so so supportive and helpful. They're friendly and specialize in depression, and have forums for all different types of problems and meds, and the moderators really know there shit! I found it such a relief to find a place that actually gets me! Let me know xxx
Sorry to hear you're feeling down and stuck in a rut - has anything changed in your life lately to make you feel that way? Sounds like you have some good friends to talk to which is great :thumb:
Have you had a look at some of the articles on here about self-harm? They might give you some ideas about what to do when you feel you're going to self-harm and also give you some general advice.
Have you spoken to anyone else about how you're feeling? Your doctor might be a good place to start as they can discuss with you if there's anything underlying your self-harm, and give you a chance to talk about how you are feeling, perhaps even referring you for counselling if you think this might help. You say people don't know how crap you're feeling so this might give you the opportunity to really open up and say how you're feeling.
Hang in there and keep us posted with how you're doing :wave:
sorry to hear you are feeling like this, I know what it is like and it isnt nice.
just remember that two weeks is a long time to go without self harming, so that is something positive.
it might be good to go to your doctor or see a counsellor, I know that can be hard, I still havnt plucked up the courage to go to the doctors.
its good that you have a friend you can talk to, is there someone who could maybe go to the doctors with you, it may make it slighty easier, I am going to go with my friend.
let us know how you are doing.:)
hey, big hug!
I feel like i am in a similar place, miraculously though i've not doing it for a few months but the thought is always there.
It's great you've got the friend you can tell though, I imagine that helps.
would it help to tell a doctor instead/aswell to get a bit of help- if you have to dig for the attention/keep telling him maybe he's not comfortable with the topic? talking to someone else could be a positive step forward.
and just remember you're not alone.
hi guys! thanks for the words of kindness.
not much has changed recently. over the summer i had some tough times dealing with a mate. all through that i wanted to self harm but never gave in. now things are sorted and we've gone our different ways and everythings settled, ive suddenly started to harm again. I am slightly stressed with uni work but thats nothing out of the norm. Things in general are going good for me. theres even a guy i like and i think he likes me! lol.
we did have a chat about it. only a small one though as we got distracted by the tv. im getting cred soon and he's getting his computer fixed so i'll have that line of contact when i feel like doing it again.
its starting to scare me that it's getting out of control but im feeling a lot better than i have been so the urges have gone... for now!! i feel like im truley addicted to it and it's frustrating that i always seem to give in.
maybe the orginal reason that made me start it agian has gone now and that im just liking it now.
i really dont want to go to the docs or conseller about it. i dont want my parents to find out as they've been through a similar thing with my sister so i cant put them through it again.
dont be a fraid to talk to your parents, they love you and i'll bet given the choice they'd much rather know so they can support you than you hiding it and struggling - times like this you need to put yourself first.
keep posting xxx
i had a chat today with a mate, who i barely know, but i found myself telling him a lot of personal stuff. he's been through similar things and said that seeing a counselor was the best thing.
he said that my self harm was clearly an issue otherwise i wouldnt have told him. and urged me to see a counselor too. i really un sure about it. partly scared i think. but talking to him made me feel so happy afterwards. but it also brought back memories that i'd tried to forget. which worries me a bit. if i go all out on a counselor n tell all, will that make me worse by mulling things over in my head constantly??
im going to talk to my other mate and see what i feel like. whether i will pluck up the courage to do it.
but now i just dont want to self harm anymore. i looked at my cuts this morning and wanted them to be gone. it shouldnt be getting me down. life's suppose to be fun, things like this shouldnt be happening.