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what should i do next?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey everyone

sorry, most of my posts are very negative, but i guess its easier typing it out that telling someone.

Just wondering if anyone had any idea what i should do about my friend.
We're really close and we always tell each other everything - she knows all about my depression / self harming, my past, everything, and she said I knew everything about her.
But these past few weeks she's been very quiet around me. We've hardly met up and hardly talked. Whenever I try to talk to her, she doesn't say much. I've asked her other friends whether she's seemed off to them, and they said she has.
I tried asking her if everything was okay, and she said that i had my problems and she had hers and that she could deal with them fine, so i said okay but im just worried about you and that i was there if she wanted someone to talk to, and she answered by saying that that was okay but i should stop trying to act like her mum and i shouldnt worry about her. Well i said that i HAD to worry about her, shes my friend and telling me not to worry about her was like not worrying about myself, and that she was a really big part of my life, and she told me that i shouldnt be so dependant on her. She's changed the subject everytime ive asked what was up, so ive just left her for a while and gave her some space, but i just want her to be okay.
She told me it was because of a guy shes been out with and she still likes him a lot but she knows it cant go anywhere. But she said she was pretty much over him and was moving on, which i know was a little bit of a lie, but still she said she was serious, so i think theres something more.

There's loadsa big issues around the subject which i should probably mention but im kinda anxious talking about them, so i'll leave it at that for now.

any idea what i should do next?
because i just want her to be back to normal so we can be how we were before, because that was the best friendship ive ever had.

just let me know if youve got any ideas.



  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey :)
    Don't worry about your posts being negative, that's why we're here to help.

    I understand your problem and in fact, I have experienced/am experiencing something similar. It's clear that your friend doesn't want to talk about her problem(s) which is completely normal, no matter how frustrating/worrying it may be for you.

    If you have tried talking to her several times, I think it is best to try a different approach to things. If you are unable to find out what is bothering her, the best thing you can do is try and cheer her up (which should also cheer you up too). You mentioned that you don't hang out and talk as much as you'd like to, so why not arrange to do something you both enjoy doing? This could be a range of things, depending on what your interests are. The point being, that you spend time together and have fun. This should cheer both of you up and help you to feel better. Be sure not to ask her about her problems or mention any such things while you're together.

    That is the best advice i can offer to you at the moment, so please give it a try and I hope things get better soon :)

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Magpie :wave:

    Everything Jamie has said is great advice :yes: . you may also want to try posting in the relationships forum as you may get some more responses?

    Maybe it's that the other issues you mentioned are more relevant to this forum - in which case carry on posting here. Do you feel able to tell us more about these other issues? perhaops that will help us all to give you the right advice.

    It sound's like you have done all the right things in suppporting your friend - you have told her you care and want to help her. Unfortunately we can't make people accept support - they have to be ready in themselves. What would you like to do next?

    You must also remember to take care of yourself. Worrying about others can put people under a lot of pressure.

    Keep posting :)
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