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talking...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
I think this is a bit similar to the "talking dirty" question I was just reading from a previous posting, but kinda worse, as I am not only useless at the dirty talking stuff (and appreciated some of the replies read to an earlier post) BUT I am really really really crap about being specific about what I like, I know, this is so schtuuupid, but,. unfortunately this seems to be "me" - however, I want to be more vocal, I want to learn how to be a little more 'teasing' (?) / pleasing,. and ANY advice muchly appreciated...

...C'est La Vie...

:banghead:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe start with an erotic novel? (an uptodate one, not mill & boon-esq hehe) then you can get used to using the words, and what to say etc? like...start reading it as 'bedtime reading' :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    An erotic novel is a great idea.
    But what about erotic writing? I've no idea if you like writing, but if you do then it's great!! You get to think about how you're expressing yourself, and your desires and wishes, and it's also pretty hot just to get yourself that deep into a fantasy.
    You might struggle to finish writing an erotic story if you get too into it - word of warning ;)

    And ... this might be a bit more low-level, but porn is good. Obviously most of it is ridiculously OTT, but you can take *some* pointers from it and apply to the real world.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ...reply to advice...

    Thanks for the advice: in regards to trashy novels, well I've read a number of Tami Hoag novels and whoa! Yes they do get you a little hot and steamy :) but a lot of that is the tension she builds-up between the two main characters and less so, about specifically who does what to whom, as it were... ! Sounds crazy but I've been re-watching old Sex in The City episodes,. ha ha,. trying to get inspiration!! But again there are lots of "hints" and nothing specific... maybe I need to get a proper "book" on this!!??

    - just to sort of add to this, I think for me I am just so incredibly frustrated with myself,. as I know if I am getting myself off what works/what feels good, but its so not the same to how a guy touches,. and its impossible for me to "detail" exactly what that difference is, or what on earth to say to the somewhat dredded, "tell me what you like/want...?" question... - urgh! - I really don't want to be so unhelpful!! I want both me and him to really enjoy and am curious enough to want to try different things, just dunno how to be vocal about this or dunno how to be more specific in the; "up a bit, down a bit, right there baby" - kinda thing,.:confused:

    Re:Porn,. shocking though it is, I've never seen a porno,. I kinda assume its all just hyped-up rubbish - obviously I concede I could be wrong, having never seen one! ha!! ha...

    OK any further thoughts, suggestions muchly appreciated...

    C'est La Vie :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dont be embarrassed about telling him how you like it, or which direction to move his hand in. He'll probably be grateful and rather that than you not getting any pleasure. If you're feeling self-conscious about it, maybe just move his hand for him to the right place.

    I'm actually having a similar problem where my bf cant find my g-spot, and i cant explain to him how to move his fingers inside me. Although i havent done it yet, i'm considering show him a webpage that will explain it alot better than i can.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in response to additional reply

    Re: Lexi99's comment: hi and thanks but it really is worse than that, its not just an embarrassment thing, (though I'd probably be v.embarrassed to try 'dirty talk') but in regards to 'specifics'...? - I just don't know what I like when its someone else touching me, like I said before, if its me touching myself, then I don't need to physically think about it! - does that make sense?

    Sigh,.

    OK so I know I'm being a bit clueless about this and thanks for the replies...I guess, in part, I'm curious to hear what other women say to the "how do you like it, what do you want me to do..." question,. as maybe I am kinda missing the point...or does that sounds like I'm trying to "cheat"...

    ....CestLaVie...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What i would do is play with yourself, but consciously think of the moves you make...i know that might spoil the mood a bit thou.... but if you can try and make a mental list? stuff like where, rhythm, speed, etc?

    As for letting your partner know, just directions do well enough mostly! that, or moving them when they need to be ...and if you like something, let 'em know! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    practice with a friend?

    I think there is no "learning" to it, just having the heart to do it. Same as asking someone out. Everyone can do it, if he speaks the same language as her (and even if not, he might be able to). You CAN do it, all you need is DO it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    re: new replies...

    Skakitty: yes, you're right! will try :)

    StrubbleS: yes, indeed have found a "buddy" to play with who's more experienced, so I am hoping to do some learning...guess I just felt like a bit of a 'wally' when unable to answer the question, so OK gotta try harder! ha ha...

    ...again many thanks for the suggestions :yippe: and sorry if I sound like a complete muppet!!

    ....CestLaVie...
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