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Problems Having Sex

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hoping someone may come up with a brainwave idea or some words of wisdom!

I have a new partner and we have been getting to know each other etc, and a few nights ago things got very heated and we wanted to have sex for the first time. From the outset he had a few problems with staying hard unless getting literally constant stimulation in exactly the right place.

Myself and my new partner are both pretty large (very in my case!), and he is also not the most well endowed (although my previous partner was of a similar size and we did not have problems).

We did have a few tries in missionary position, and with me on top, but he couldn't get inside (main problem being that he couldn't stay hard enough, but not helped by our combined size).

We gave up, and he then told me he was a virgin (I am not). I did tell him that it really didn't matter etc and then these things work themselves out etc.

We tried again the other night, and he did get it in this time and had about a minute of sex after a struggle to get it in but he wasn't getting enough stimulation and then started going soft.

I just don't know what to do - i've never had this problem before, and he doesn't have any experience to fall back on. I don't want to keep trying and failing as i don't want him to get stressed about it as that definitely won't help.

Yes, losing weight will obviously help, and we have decided to do something about this together - but that is long term! We can and do satisfy each other in other ways :thumb: but i don't want the sex thing to become an issue - particularly for him.

We are both very aroused and not rushing, worried of interruption or any of the usual reasons for a problem.

If anyone has any ideas, suggestions or words of wisdom they would be very welcome!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you think that he is feeling under pressure to perform? not necessarily from you but perhaps in his own mind?

    I think the best thing to do is just take is slowly, try and be relaxed around each other.

    I suppose you could try winding him up and teasing him (in a sexy way) when youre not together and see if that makes him so keen that he pounces on you :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    From behind might be a better position for you to try :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piecesofme wrote: »
    From behind might be a better position for you to try :yes:

    from a larger girl point of view, i would say that may be even more difficult
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    from a larger girl point of view, i would say that may be even more difficult

    Oh right hmm..:chin:

    Just thought it might be easier for the positioning.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :wave:
    Hi i reckon With it being his first time he just might of been realy nervous thats why he coudnt keep the flow.
    I bet next time he will.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds like nerves to me. The more he goes soft, the more he'll panic and the more he'll go soft. He'll be so worried about not getting hard that he won't be able to get hard. It's a pretty bad cycle to be in.

    I would suggest that you take it back a step or two, to ease the nerves. Go back to kissing and cuddling, go back to the foreplay, and come back to penetration in a few weeks when the nerves should have eased off a bit.

    I don't think it will be anything to do with your weight.
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