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worries please help

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
i am going to go to the doctors in a few weeks when i get back to Manchester, to talk about my feelings, i have been depressed for 4 years, i have self harmed for 3 and a half years and i am suicidal. i hav at last decided to do something about it when i was inspired by someone who had come through similar things, who i recently met. i am scared that they will tell my parents even though i am 18, i am also scared of them not helping and just being unhelpful. i am really scared of and hate talking to people about my problems. i hav also started having panic attacks in the last few weeks.
any help or encouragement would be nice.
thanks x

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi
    imohorn18 wrote: »
    i am going to go to the doctors in a few weeks when i get back to Manchester, to talk about my feelings, i have been depressed for 4 years, i have self harmed for 3 and a half years and i am suicidal. i hav at last decided to do something about it when i was inspired by someone who had come through similar things, who i recently met. i am scared that they will tell my parents even though i am 18, i am also scared of them not helping and just being unhelpful. i am really scared of and hate talking to people about my problems. i hav also started having panic attacks in the last few weeks.
    any help or encouragement would be nice.
    thanks x

    its really good that you've decided to get help. i find it hard to talk to people too but once you've done it you do feel different and more able to cope with things. a weight shall be lifted from your shoulders!!!
    If your parents are being unhelpful, try and tell them so. it depends on your relationship with your parents whether you want them to know. it can help ease their worry and prevent them from hassling you.
    think positive and good things will happen :thumb: good luck
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why don't you want your parents to know?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't like them knowing my problems, i hate my dad so dont want him to know for that reason, and my mum did know about it because school told her when i was there, but now i am at music college and living away from home i believe that she thinks all the shit has stopped plus she also has other stuff to worry about, like the fact that she has ms so i dont like to worry her.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you have anyone close friends or family that are supporting you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have a friend who i have talked to, but i dont like to talk to her too much as she has lots of work, she always tells me to ring her when i feel bad or just need a chat but i dont because i feel guilty if i use her time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww thats sad to hear - sometimes just getting things out of your head can help put them into perspective a bit more. You shouldn't feel like a burden to others, I'm sure both friends and family would be happy to talk/listen :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah my friend has said that i can call her at anytime, but i dont like putting my problems onto others, i am going to the doctors in a week so i hope that they do something but i am terrified about going as i really hate talking about all my problems and feelings.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It might help if you write down some of the things that you think you want to say, that way if all else fails you can give them the piece of paper rather then having to talk to explain everything.

    If you're over 18 they can't tell your parents anything, so you're quite safe from that concern. It would be worth rethinking your desire to not tell your parents though, one thing to be aware of, especially if your mum knows you've had problems before, that if she suspects you're having problems again and doesn't know your getting help she'll be a lot more worried than if she knows you are.

    All the best with the appointment.

    xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    re

    Hi imohorn18,:)

    Sorry to hear you are having difficulties at the moment but well done for feeling the courage to sort things out, we also hope that you find the encouragement you need here on the forum.
    Youve mentioned having difficulites talking to others about your feelings, have you considered accessing counselling?counselling can provide a neutral, non judgemental and confidential way to explore your feeling. Here is some information on counselling and self harm, hopefully this will be helpful.

    keep posting:wave:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi hun aww god you sound like your'e going through it at mo.
    I understand kind of my friends diagnosed with bi-polar +currantly in hospital 10 days now.
    Just dont keep it bottled up.
    Let us know how you get on.:wave:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for all the encouragement and support guys, it really helps.
    I have tried 3 different counsellers and only had a max of 3 sessions with each of them, which I know isnt enough. I dont really like them as the first one I saw shouted at me and that has put me off, the others I was sort of made to go to by school and the doctor. when i go to the doctors i will ask about counselling and as it is my choice to go I hope I may speak at the session in stead of sitting in silence, I am just very nervous of getting another bad one.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You could see if your college has any counselling services, most colleges and universities have a counselling and welfare service which can be very good. They're not the cure to all ills, but generally the counsellors are used to working with young adults and tend to be more understanding than GP or school counsellors. They're not the solution for serious mental health difficulties but they're a good place to vent, if nothing else.

    At your age your parents shouldn't be told about anything. GPs often suggest that you talk to your parents if they're supportive, but if they're not really able to support you (for whatever reason) the GP won't go behind your back. If you use the college counselling and welfare service they definitely won't tell your parents.

    If you're worried about talking to your GP, try writing things down, as other people have suggested.

    The most important thing is to talk to people about how you're feeling. Don't think you have to suffer in silence. If you tell your college they can help, even if you don't want to use counselling they can make sure you're looked after academically as well as emotionally.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for the advice and support Kermit, it is helpful. i am just worried that if i see the college counsellor then other people will see me going as it is in the building and near practice rooms so a lot of people tend to be around. i think after i have been to the doctors i will talk to my horn teacher and may think about telling college somethings so they understand a little.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know at my University they stagger the appointments so they start and end midway through lectures (i.e. our lectures run hourly, so the counselling appointments start on the half-hour). The room's also at the far end of a teaching block, which helps. They do tend to be a bit better than GP counsellors as they're used to dealing with students and young adults and, certainly at my University, they specialise in young adult work.

    As for college, if it's been affecting your work, tell them as soon as possible. They can't help and they can't take it into account unless you tell them.

    For what it's worth, I spent most of my University years either slicing my arms open or collapsing in puddles of tears. I don't do it now.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think talking to college will be good, so thanks for sugesting that, i will definitely talk to my horn teacher so she can understand why i am sometimes really depressed in my lessons. i will try the doctors and see what they suggest then maybe go to college counsellors.

    thanks for the encouragement, it really helps me to know that others have come through what i am going through, thats the reason why i have decided to do something after 4 years because i met someone who had come through depression, and i thought if she can then maybe i can get through.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    worries please help

    Write down the things you worry about.
    Talk with friends.
    Go out to sports or travelling.
    Encourage yourself.
    That's what i think.
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