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Things have gone from bad to worse!!!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I dont know what to do i feel so alone all night i have had to put up with my partner going on at me to cheer up am i upset with him has he done something!!!
he knows whats wrong i really need to talk to someone but i dont know who!! i have already hurt myself again to night and i really want to do it again..
i just feel it would be easier for my partner and my family if i was not around..my partner would not feel he is doing anything wrong to upset me and i am always getting into arguments with my family so they would be happier too..
o what to do....i hate being me i hate being alive i hate my whole life:nervous: :crying: :crying: :impissed:
he knows whats wrong i really need to talk to someone but i dont know who!! i have already hurt myself again to night and i really want to do it again..
i just feel it would be easier for my partner and my family if i was not around..my partner would not feel he is doing anything wrong to upset me and i am always getting into arguments with my family so they would be happier too..
o what to do....i hate being me i hate being alive i hate my whole life:nervous: :crying: :crying: :impissed:
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Oh honey, i'm sorry to hear that, it sounds like you've been having a rough time of it lately. Have you tried calmly telling your partner exactly how you feel and making sure they really and fully understand? Is there no one else to talk to at all? I'm sorry that you're feeling this way
Try not to hurt yourself again, because it wont help, even if you feel better for a minute or two.
I hope things get better for you, my thoughts are with you.
Keep safe.
xxx
i have been through alot as a child it started of i was abused from the age of 8 and then at 11 i had to chose who i wanted to live with my mum or dad, my mum moved down to kent so i decided to live with my dad because i didnt like living with my mum, then i had to put up with domestic violence between my dads girlfriend and my dad, and then when i was at my mums it would happen there too so i do not go down as much any more and i dont live with my dad i live with my partner so i dont have to put up with it any more. But i still get flash backs and i always worry about them i always thing god is tonight i am going to get a phone telling me they are in hospital or worse killed!!.
for the question of telling a friend i carnt really i only have two close friends and they both have alot on one has a child and is having another and my other friends granmar is dieing so i dont want to put more strain on them.
i cut myself. I cannot go to my gp because i did go before about it and they laughed at me gave me a lecture and told me to get out.
my relationship is fine i love my partner to bits and i know he loves me its just i keep snapping at him and shouting like last night he did not get any garlic bread so i totally trashed the living room, i felt so bad he knows about my past and he knows how i am feeling now and he knows i cut myself but hte slightist little thing he does gets me mad and i dont want to lose him he is the only person that is keeping me here, it feels like i have been hidding how i am really feeling prentending i am someone am not and now its out of control and he knows how i am feeling i have explained it and told him its nothing to do with him he hasnt doin anything to make me feel this way..and if i dont have enough to deal with he keeps saying is it me?? am i good enough for you?? do you want to be with me?? i never lie to him so i tell him the truth and no its not him..yes he is going enough and yeah i do wanna be with him but if i carry on am gunna lose him ant i??
am sorry for bothing people i just dont know who else to turn to.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It's really great that you can turn to us in the community here, that is what we are all here for.
It is very unprofessional and wrong for a Doctor to laugh at you and tell you to get out when you have taken the courage to seek help. If there is more than one Doctor at your surgery, perhaps see a different one? You could even change your Doctor's surgery? You could call your local PCT (Primary Care Trust) or NHS Direct (0845 46 47) for information on other GP's in the area.
It sound's like your relationship with your partner is strong and that you love each other very much. That is a really positive. If you feel that only recently you have come out of 'hiding' and are no longer 'pretending' you may need to sit down and calmly talk everything through with him. Tell him that you love him and don;t want to lose him. Lay all the cards on the table for you both to see?
You may want to check out The Site's information pages on self-harm and family? Perhaps you could also print out our pages on supporting someone who self-harms and the advice to partners for your partner? They may help him to help you more?
It sound's like you have distanced yourself from your family, which may be a good thing considering all the violence and aggression. Perhaps your energy is better spent focussing on you and your relationship right now?
Have you ever though about talking to someone at a helpline? NAPAC (National Association for People Abused in Childhood) 0800 085 3330, Supportline 020 8554 9004 or Samaritans - 08457 909090 are all trained to listen to you. They may help to take some of the pressures and frustrations away from relationship.
Hope some of this helps. take care and keep posting
I hope things lighten up soon, i have nothing to add really except that the info Harry23's supplied seems really helpful