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Gran has died
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
She's been ill for a long time and has been dying for a few weeks.
I'm relieved that it's finally happened but also a bit in shock I think because we've been waiting for it for so long, that it's a bit hard to take in.
I'm more upset than I thought I'd be as well. And worried about my mum cos I don't think it's really sunk in for her yet and I'm really fucking rubbish at comforting people.
What's more upsetting is that over a week ago my mum and her sister and one of her brothers went up to Gran's old people's home for a meeting about her care etc etc and they'd all agreed to no resusatation and whatnot. Today the weekend staff found her and were trying resusation and called an ambulance who came and tried as well and gave her an adrenalin shot and got 'a sign of life'... She was DOA at the hospital... But this shouldn't have happened. I hope she wasn't aware of the drama going on... I guess not cos I think she'd been dead a fair few minutes before they found her... But we didn't want all of that and I hate the thought of them trying to get her to come round. We just wanted her to die peacefully in her sleep, which is what would have happened if they'd sorted out their paperwork and let the weekend staff know.
I'm feeling all weid.
I'm relieved that it's finally happened but also a bit in shock I think because we've been waiting for it for so long, that it's a bit hard to take in.
I'm more upset than I thought I'd be as well. And worried about my mum cos I don't think it's really sunk in for her yet and I'm really fucking rubbish at comforting people.
What's more upsetting is that over a week ago my mum and her sister and one of her brothers went up to Gran's old people's home for a meeting about her care etc etc and they'd all agreed to no resusatation and whatnot. Today the weekend staff found her and were trying resusation and called an ambulance who came and tried as well and gave her an adrenalin shot and got 'a sign of life'... She was DOA at the hospital... But this shouldn't have happened. I hope she wasn't aware of the drama going on... I guess not cos I think she'd been dead a fair few minutes before they found her... But we didn't want all of that and I hate the thought of them trying to get her to come round. We just wanted her to die peacefully in her sleep, which is what would have happened if they'd sorted out their paperwork and let the weekend staff know.
I'm feeling all weid.
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Comments
Love to you and your family.
I guess what I'm trying to say is there is no right or wrong way to feel about it or deal with it, an similarly there is no right or wrong way to behave around your mum and family.
Much love
Let's live and remember her.
really sorry to hear that. just try and remember all the fun times, it will seem painful at first but time will begin to heal it. Remember to talk to people if you feel sad too and that just because the person's gone doesn't mean they are forgotten.
It's a bit surreal still and I don't think it's really going to hit until the funeral - although that's not going to be for another couple of weeks because of family flying back from various lands.
My stomach feels like it's in a knot though and I've not eaten much at all this past couple of days which isn't good - I can only assume that's hidden emotions... although I did get really pissed saturday night so it might be a prolonged hangover.
I should maybe try and have a good cry.
A good cry and a good cuppa can do wonders
Be better soon.
hope u feel better soon...
I know it might not help just now but i'm sure in the future you'll take comfort in the fact you knew her. I sometimes think how lucky i am to have grandparents growing up, most of my friends grandparents either died before they were born or when they were really young.
Hope the funeral goes ok and your gran gets the send off you all want for her.
I hadnt had chance to see him before he passed away, this is something I regret bitterly. I had booked a week off to see him, and he died 3 weeks before that.
Anyway im not going to to go into it anymore on here.
There isnt a lot I can say that makes it any better or easier for you, I still hear and see things now and think 'I must mention that to grandad' then realise I cant, before this would have upset me,
But now I just smile and chuckle to myself at the thought that I know we would have had a laugh together about it.
So id urge the rest of you who do put off visiting your relations to do it as they wont be around forever. And if they say they are fine etc don?t always take that at face value.
All the best for you.
Unfortunatly (or fortunatly I guess), this isn't something that's happening now... My Gran lots her marbles years ago so she didn't even know who I was for the past 5 or 6 years.
But like my mum said; when someone has dementia you never really get a point in their illness where you can grieve for the person that's gone because they're still there, just not themselves... So in a way we're greiving for someone who was lost to us many years ago. It's all very odd.
But thanks again for all your kind messages.