I wish I had more friends

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ive been feeling a bit lost lately I don't really know how to describe it but I just can feel great one minute but feel terrible the other 59 minutes.
By no means do I mean that I hate my life I just wish certain parts of it could be different.
I'm 16 years old and I have never had a proper boyfriend, I don't have a lot of friends and after almost a year of college I don't think Ive made anymore. I have one friend who has been my best friend for around 10 years and about three other friends I would say that I'm close to but one of them will never hang out with me outside college and makes stuff up when I invite her, I have another friend who just doesn't seen interested in anything and one friend who has told me that she doesn't class me as her real friend cause she associates me with education.
Almost everyone I talk to is already in there clique and I'm jealous of them. I feel like I'm missing out on been a teenager, but I don't know what to do. Ive tried socializing more with people but its not getting me anywhere.
And then there are my college courses that are just making me feel stressed.
I'm hoping someone hear has some helpful suggestions to change my mood.
Thank you to anyone who reads and sympathizes.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SammyHD wrote: »
    I'm 16 years old and I have never had a proper boyfriend

    I really, REALLY wouldn't worry about this bit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I went through the same at ur age but its just that age and u will realise that when ur older more than now..

    I dont really know what to say, its crap lol but at least ur best friend is there for u, those other girls aren't ur real friends if they are going on the way they are... forget them and be more confident and show them u dont need them and that u are having more fun without them.

    Girls like that are bullys in a sense, 5 years on and i dont talk to the girls that were like that with me i still have my best friend too, and as for the girls that made me feel crap want to be my friend now
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hugs Sammy* I know that doesn't help, but I really could have done with one when I was the same situation at yr age!

    Forget about the boyfriend issue, it's not important.

    As jaiden said, these girls in cliques generally aren't great friends and when you see them in five years time they most likely won't know each other any more. At least, that's how it's worked in my experience.

    I'm shit at friends. I don't have many. I don't have a best friend. I still have problems with getting into friendships with people who use me BUT I have learned that some people are just bad news, and I have learned who my true friends are. So stick with the ones that are nice - no need to count them - just keep with the people that make you really happy :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would offer you my friendship but it sounds, and it would be, somewhat creepy........PLUS, I'm a shit friend. :o I really am, I forget bdays and rarely txts or call.

    I'm good laugh down the pub but that's not much use to you! :p

    Anyway as other have said things will work themselves out in time, right now your going through a 'boring' patch of life. It wont last though -Something will happen and your life will pick up and you'll have shed loads of drama in your life....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What about going to places like festivals etc, i used to meet new people that way, also gigs :D i would go to the online msg board for the band, and arrange to meet people @ the gig, which was always fun! Or there is things like volunteering to do something you enjoy, maybe with animals or something, you might meet other like-minded people that way:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "I have another friend who just doesn't seen interested in anything and one friend who has told me that she doesn't class me as her real friend cause she associates me with education."

    Im on the same boat as you there its not nice is it?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Definitely try to get out and do more to meet people. Something I keep meaning to do ...

    I had a whole load of friends when I was 17/18 but I'm a bit shit and over the years they've kept dropping off. Now one of my best friends is in Korea and the other is too busy with work for me to visit!! So it sucks, and lately I've been feeling pretty miserable which I think is connected to just feeling well .... lonely as hell.

    So my advice to you (I never follow my own advice as you will be able to tell ;-)) work hard with the friends you do have, because it'll repay itself later. Try and do more extra-curricular stuff to meet new people, which in itself could open up a whole new set of possibilities :)

    And don't worry too much about it. You're in the right place and the right age to keep on meeting people who are looking to socialise!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^ this is my mate Ed...who actully did say that quote on my sig :p Hi ED!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    skakitty wrote: »
    ^ this is my mate Ed...who actully did say that quote on my sig :p Hi ED!!

    Hey you :P
    See, socialise, and you might even get crazy forum stalkery type friends ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why Do You wish you had more friends??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for all the comments I didn't expect so many so quickly :)

    I want more friends because I'm sick of spending weekends alone and having no one to talk to and many other reasons.

    I know I just need to try include myself in more activities but its just difficult to leave my comfort zone, before I went to secondary school I had quite a lot of friends, but secondary school wasn't easy for me and I was bullied to a certain degree and I was scared to talk or involve myself in anything encase it encouraged the bullying. So when I got home at the end of the school day I just wanted to hide in my room.

    I am trying to involve myself in more activities so hopefully my patience will pay off. :)
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Boards Champion
    SammyHD wrote: »

    I am trying to involve myself in more activities so hopefully my patience will pay off. :)

    :yes: this is it, making good friends does take some patience and it sounds like looking beyond the three college friends you've mentioned would be a good idea. If they're not interested in socialising with you outside of college then it may not be worth investing too much time in them either and perhaps look into a college group that automatically includes extra activities that you can get involved in.

    Good luck and keep posting. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **helen** wrote: »
    :yes: this is it, making good friends does take some patience and it sounds like looking beyond the three college friends you've mentioned would be a good idea. If they're not interested in socialising with you outside of college then it may not be worth investing too much time in them either and perhaps look into a college group that automatically includes extra activities that you can get involved in.

    Good luck and keep posting. :)

    :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would suggest getting involved in some form of activity - such as volunteering or possibly guides/scouts - they do older age group stuff whre you get to do all sorts of cool things like overnight hikes and trips abroad - and its a good way of making friends. Also find out if there are any youth groups near you (even a church one) as they can be an excellent way of meeting people - if you dont' want to just turn up randomly then often the do things like DofE that are a bit more formal to start with. Most of my out of school friends met each other through random church youth groups even though few of them are religious and all were very naughty.

    Also sometimes the key is just meeting one person who you click with or who is in the same boat as you. When i was 15 i met someone who was just like me - kind of had a few friends but not loads and generally felt that they didn't fit in with people at school - due to having different music tastes etc - he introduced me to some of his out of school friends - and i introduced him to some of mine and it just kind of randomly spiralled from there and we ended up meeting lots of different people along the way and loads of different groups - some people stuck onto the group we were in and others didn't and we kind of grew from just sitting in our bedrooms to being in the cool "alternative" group in the area where we grew up.
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