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How to behave/act in somebody elses home?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hello all

Been to Portsmouth today to view 4 diffrent places to live. 2 of them were horriable and really not somewhere i would want to live. 1 of them was ok but a bit expensive. but there was one that i LOVED !!! :heart:

This guy has a gorgeous flat in a brand new building, its 2 bedrooms and he has one and im going to have the other. So its just me and him. The flat is amazing, u have to be buzzed in and there is a camara down there so you can see whos at the front door, there is a lift as his flat is on the top floor and the view over pompey and the isle of wight is amazing from the balcony. it really is the best flat i've ever been in! and he only wants £300 a month all inclusive!!!! I feel like i've struck gold!

The question i want to know is.... do i attempt to hang out in the living room with him (hes 24, im 22 so we are similar in age) on my first night there (tomorow) or do i stay in my room?? what if i sit in the living room and he secretly wants me to go?? or what if i stay in my room and he thinks im rude? oh god lol. i think its going 2 be quite awquard to begin with....

Any hints or tips for making and maintaining a good impression? x

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just play it by ear I reckon... if you're living there too it's just as much your home as his while you're living there, so don't feel like you're trespassing on his space.

    If he wants to be alone or away from you I'm sure he'll just go to his own room.
    You can usually tell if there's loads of awkward silence or whatever if it's best to just leave the 'getting to know you' bit for a while - and you can always say you're just going to unpack for a bit or whatnot for a while. But it might be nice to make conversation and bond a bit on the first day if you're going to be sharing the same space for a while.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If it was me, I would go sit in the living room but talk a book or laptop or something you can do. That way he can say hi and talk if he/you want to but if not you don't have to sit there feeling awkward staring at the wall. At the very least if you stay in your room keep the door open, it will make it seem like you are more approachable.

    That is what I would do anyway :)

    Good luck!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ... and I meant take a book. I wouldn't recommend talking to a book or laptop- he may think you're a little strange!

    and yeah I like the "I'm going to unpack excuse" too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just play it by ear I reckon... if you're living there too it's just as much your home as his while you're living there, so don't feel like you're trespassing on his space.


    Yeah this is how i'm going to feel after all it is his flat and hes lived there on his own 4 a while
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Try and take something to help break the ice if you can, maybe some wine or beer or something else just to try and help the coversation flow. I'm sure everything will be fine.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can i just well done by the way. So happy you're getting everything sorted :thumb:

    I'd probably just play it by ear. If he's in there first then just see how chatty he is. If you're in there first then the balls in his court to play it out how he feels comfortable. The thing is you'll both be in the same boat with not being used to it so really wouldn't worry too much. Maybe you could get in from work, then find somewhere to nip out later? Check out your new area bit etc. so you're not just sat in twiddling your thumbs?
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Maybe you could convince him to go for a walk round the local area (find a local pub/shop etc) and maybe go for a drink to help break the ice?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, this is brilliant news. I think I'd think it a bit wierd if you just moved in with someone and they just went into their room and left you on your own. Unless you're really tired or something, I'd hang out in the living room and just have a chat, but with the TV on or something. Also, based on uni, I find computer games are a good ice breaker.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lu_C wrote: »
    Just play it by ear I reckon... if you're living there too it's just as much your home as his while you're living there, so don't feel like you're trespassing on his space.

    Agreed.

    If you're sharing a house, then you're doing exactly that - sharing. All cool. Just be yourself, and agree with the suggestion that a quick walk around the area could be a winner. Perhaps a bottle of wine. Otherwise, just relax, take it easy, and enjoy your new found freedom! :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    g_angel wrote: »
    Agreed.

    If you're sharing a house, then you're doing exactly that - sharing. All cool. Just be yourself, and agree with the suggestion that a quick walk around the area could be a winner. Perhaps a bottle of wine. Otherwise, just relax, take it easy, and enjoy your new found freedom! :)

    This is a good idea, i just hope he don't think i'm coming into him in any way with the wine hehe x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LMAO!!! :D:D:D

    That, of course, is another unwritten rule ;) Don't doink your housemates!! ;)

    I'm sure he won't interpret a glass of wine wrong! ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well.... its the first night, flatmate is in the living room watching prision break on dvd... and im hiding in my room!!!!!!! i dont want to interupt his dvd maraton!!! oh its so awquard!!!!!!
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    "Hey, what are you watching?" "Oh, is it good? They say it is."
    Try those.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Prison Break is good :p
    Just go in, and ask "Can I watch?" Job done.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think i will try the social approch 2moro as i am pretty tired after all the moving today and will be going to bed in about an hour. also, i have changed into my lounging around trousers and my pompey football huge baggy shirt, will feel kinda embarased walking around like that :blush: i have not had to guts to take my contact lenses out or make up off yet
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Go join in now if you can, even for just 30 mins. You live together, he is hardly gonna mind seeing you dressed in baggy clothes and without makeup!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Noooooo its 2 embarasing!!! I've been sat in my room a good few hours, he will think its weird i go out now. I don't finish work untill half 7 tomorow so i might pick up a few beers on the way home and offer him some while i am making my dinner, then i will plant my ass in the living room with my Nintendo DS and try and act natural
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Well as long as you come out and play tomorrow! Don't keep putting it off though!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He's got to get used to being there sooner rather than later.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i live with 15 other people, they have all seen me in Pjs eating ben and jerrys out of the tub and lamenting down the phone about something or other...

    its normal!

    don't get embaressed, after all you do live there now.

    why not talk to him about what he is and isn't ok with?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i would be waaaay more relaxed if it was even 3 people living here, but where its just me and him it makes if difficult!!! i just stuck my head in the living room to announce i was going to be and he said he though i might of already turned in but i said i was busy checking facebook etc so 2moro night i am deffo gunna start hanging out in the living room more.

    we have had the chat about whats cool and what aint and its all the normal stuff, he seems like a pretty chilled out kinda guy so am just gunna see how it goes and hope 4 the best
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Hope it goes well tomorrow. Be sure to let us know :)
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