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Casual mess up
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Don't usually post about my love life on here but bordering on breakdown at the mo so just wanted a vent and opinions.
Recently met this bloke who is getting divorced from his wife (moved out a while back). Instant click between us and we had a drunken kiss last week and carried on talking/texting from there. In the end i took a step back and said i couldnt get involved as it was going a bit fast and he admitted to being confused because of his situation. Both sat down and got talking again last night, admitted to liking each other and said okay we're both aware that there's some emotional issues but that's fine we'll work round it, no promises and we'll see how things go. Stupidly it got carried away and we slept together. Would just like to point out here it's been a long time since i've slept with anyone and i'm not a tart but it felt the right thing to do and i was comfortable with it.
Unfortunately when we sat talking after it came out in the conversation that his idea of confused is wanting to mend things with his ex. From the impression i got the reason he was upset and confused was because it was all over and he was having to get on with his life. So you can imagine how i felt. Stupid for sleeping with him, stupid for misreading a situation and being someone's booty call and stupid because i was completely myself with him and let the barriers down and now feel a fool and a cheap tart:(
I've got no friends that i can tell as they're all out today so guess that's why i felt the need to come on here. Guess i'm just in beat yourself up mode as i can't believe i was so stupid. I knew it was casual sex, but to then be told thanks very much but im off to woo my wife back sort of threw me a little. Guess the only thing i can hope to salvage out of this is the fact that hopefully he won't tell anyone else and i'll be able to keep some pride :rolleyes:
Sorry for sounding like a whinger, guess it's just hit me that i'm embarrassed at being taken for a fool. I realise that what happened was exactly what it said on the tin, guess i've just not accepted it or coped with it like i expected to. I am human after all
I'm usually a mature, sensible adult who doesnt make an arse of herself so guess i just feel out of sorts today.
Recently met this bloke who is getting divorced from his wife (moved out a while back). Instant click between us and we had a drunken kiss last week and carried on talking/texting from there. In the end i took a step back and said i couldnt get involved as it was going a bit fast and he admitted to being confused because of his situation. Both sat down and got talking again last night, admitted to liking each other and said okay we're both aware that there's some emotional issues but that's fine we'll work round it, no promises and we'll see how things go. Stupidly it got carried away and we slept together. Would just like to point out here it's been a long time since i've slept with anyone and i'm not a tart but it felt the right thing to do and i was comfortable with it.
Unfortunately when we sat talking after it came out in the conversation that his idea of confused is wanting to mend things with his ex. From the impression i got the reason he was upset and confused was because it was all over and he was having to get on with his life. So you can imagine how i felt. Stupid for sleeping with him, stupid for misreading a situation and being someone's booty call and stupid because i was completely myself with him and let the barriers down and now feel a fool and a cheap tart:(
I've got no friends that i can tell as they're all out today so guess that's why i felt the need to come on here. Guess i'm just in beat yourself up mode as i can't believe i was so stupid. I knew it was casual sex, but to then be told thanks very much but im off to woo my wife back sort of threw me a little. Guess the only thing i can hope to salvage out of this is the fact that hopefully he won't tell anyone else and i'll be able to keep some pride :rolleyes:
Sorry for sounding like a whinger, guess it's just hit me that i'm embarrassed at being taken for a fool. I realise that what happened was exactly what it said on the tin, guess i've just not accepted it or coped with it like i expected to. I am human after all
I'm usually a mature, sensible adult who doesnt make an arse of herself so guess i just feel out of sorts today. 0
Comments
I don't think you should be too hard on yourself. I wouldn't say you have misread the situation, it sounds as though he's been aware you like him, especially after you've spoken to him about how you feel. That would have been the right time for him to admit that he's still wanting to make a go of things with his wife, rather than allowing you to give him emotional and physical intimacy. He sounds like a complete mess (though I'm sure you know that). I don't know what he's hoping to gain from his recent behaviour (and if I were you I wouldn't waste any time on trying to work out what's going on with him). All I'll say is if his emotional 'maturity' boils down to him separating from his wife, having casual sex with someone who clearly wouldn't be intimate with someone unless she had feelings for him, he deserves to be on his own until he can deal with his problems himself and stop reaching out to whoever he wants support from at any one given moment.
Don't let this one situation have too much bearing on your sense of perspective for the future. Maybe take from it that some people won't automatically be as openly honest as you and allow yourself a bit more time to understand the full situation before getting involved. Even sensible people have moments where they get a bit more carried away than they would normally. The difference is they will stop themselves from getting into similar situations again, where as the fools make the same mistake over and over.
Take care