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do i need to tell my family?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i knew i was bi a year ago and since then i've found a few really trustworthy people to tell. im a quaker and we are accepting of everyone so it wsn't hard but my dad isn't a quaker and since my mum and dad's divorce its got harder to talk to him or my stepmum. actually it was never that easy! but whenever im in the same room i kinda want to tell him cos its such a huge secret in my dad's house. my sister and my mum also know but do i need to tell my dad? :confused:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't need to, no, but it seems that it bugs you, so it might be good to tell him. I am sure he accepts it, and if he doesn't accept it, well, better he knows and learns to deal with it, than finding out sometimes the hard way.

    so no, you are not obliged, but I think you are doing yourself a favor if you do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rodders17 wrote: »
    i knew i was bi a year ago and since then i've found a few really trustworthy people to tell. im a quaker and we are accepting of everyone so it wsn't hard but my dad isn't a quaker and since my mum and dad's divorce its got harder to talk to him or my stepmum. actually it was never that easy! but whenever im in the same room i kinda want to tell him cos its such a huge secret in my dad's house. my sister and my mum also know but do i need to tell my dad? :confused:

    The problem about coming out of the closet is that its damn hard getting back in again if you need to. But being bi is only an issue to tell anyone about, if you start a relationship of someone of the same sex and you wish to introduce them to the family. If you're not seeing a guy at the moment, then don't tell him. What you do in the privacy of your bedroom can stay private.

    Personally, when I came out, I told my Mum first and then my Dad. It's always harder telling ones Dad. But he was cool about it, like he had always known. It must have been the pink bunny slippers (joking).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    and always remember, being bi equals being half gay, so it should only be half the trouble :D

    Dad, I like boys
    WHAAAT?
    I LIKE GIRLS TOO.
    *phew* alright son.

    :razz:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    probably wont be that esy but thanks :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Also, be prepared for the fact that some people are more hostile towards bi- than homosexuality because they don't get it. Many people who are otherwise very liberal struggle with the idea that you can be attracted to people of any gender so you might have to spend some time explaining that you're not in denial about being gay, or going through a phase...

    And as Teagan says, if you don't think you need to tell them you shouldn't feel guilty. I only told my dad once I was president of my uni's LGBT soc and it just came up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bad side of telling people you're bi is, they don't know what sex you prefer. Male or female. So if your parents are hoping for grandchildren and you're a lone child, perhaps wait or don't tell them at all. The thing is, it'll most likely be more of a shock if you tell your parents you're bi, then get a boyfriend. You know they're wishing you dated a girl.

    If you're serious about being bi, then I say don't tell them. Most bisexuals later "turn" in later life. Guess you could say the same for most straight people though. It's kind of why I don't agree or wish to come out anytime soon.

    Just remember that you don't need to prove anything to anyone, If your parents wont accept it, just wait. Don't stress over it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tr4shed wrote: »
    Hahaha, when i told my dad i was bi, was the funniest thing i had ever done.. the look on his face xD
    Was even better, when i kissed this guy next to me, who my dad thought was just a friend, but was infact my boyfriend. Haha.
    (My dad is extremely homophobic)

    Oh well he got over it xD

    OMG! When did you find the time to fit a boyfriend into your busy relationship schedule???? :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rodders17 wrote: »
    probably wont be that esy but thanks :)

    Why do you want to tell him anyway? There isn't any pressure on you to do so, hun. You're still at school, you still like girls ... I'm not sure what all the rush is about?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teagan wrote: »
    OMG! When did you find the time to fit a boyfriend into your busy relationship schedule???? :lol:
    I'd love to know that too. He had 20 girls before the 2 he had to choose from and he had a boy too? where did he find the time? he's only 15 :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teagan wrote: »
    Why do you want to tell him anyway? There isn't any pressure on you to do so, hun. You're still at school, you still like girls ... I'm not sure what all the rush is about?
    hes made such an effort to keep us happy and i've never liked keepin secrets. i guess part of me is thinkin that its such great news i should tell him while the other part is tellin me to keep it to myself!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You surely don't tell him about your heterosexual bedroom antics because some things are private - and if you are bi for the sex, that's noone's business except your own. I understand that you don't wish to keep any secrets from your Dad but unless you find yourself in a committed same-sex relationship sometime soon, I wouldn't bother for the time being.
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