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Please help. I need advice.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I tried legal drugs like salvia , spice gold, spice diamond and smoke. Ive done weed but i started doing these cause it was easyer to get and cheaper. I soon got hooked on the stuff. I didnt crave it but i couldnt pass it up if some one had a joint. I soon became very depressed and it was all because of these drugs and they have fucked up a whole year of my life. I still cant say no to them if a friend has them but i havent done them in a few months.
I need advice on how to say no.
What were your experiences?
Please help.

Comments

  • Soph001Soph001 Posts: 105 The Mix Convert
    Hi,
    It sounds like you've done pretty well to get this far, and you just need a bit of help or encouragement to give up entirely (since you know they're messing you up). There are lots of advice sheets on TheSite.org. like this one about breaking free from addiction. Also, Talk to Frank is a really good place to go for help: you can ask questions by email, online or by phone.
    It might be an idea to ask your friends not to offer you any of the drugs you mentioned in future. If they're good friends, they'll understand that it's doing you harm and making life difficult for you.
    If you're tempted to say yes, try leaving it an hour and seeing if you still think it's a good idea then. At least it gives you time to think.
    Good luck with all this, let us know how you get on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    some people find CBT techniques very helpful when breaking free from an addiction...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok. Thanks. Ill try my best.
    I will akways do weed but i never want to do legal stuff again. Its werse than illegal drugs!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There has been VERY little research done into alot of these so called 'Legal Highs' - often far less than long established illegal substances.

    Laboratory testing has shown massive variations in dosage and composition between batches (risks usually associated with illegal drugs) also there is question of whether or not some of the active ingredients in the myriad legal highs on offer are not psychoactives in the traditional sense but in fact low level poisons with side effects that mimic psychoactives (excessive consumption of Nutmeg is a good example - don't go trying this though, its a cardiotoxic substance your heart could do without!)

    The blurb on the back of the packets is often downright lies, and I've run packets past pharmacologists in the past who've stated that their description of how their product works is either nonsense or impossible.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats what i'm aware of and i know how bad they are.
    They cause depression 2 and im going through this partly because of these legal drugs.
    I need to get away from them fast!
    I wana do a bit of research on them too.
    Find out some things about them.
    Any one whos taken them what did you think?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Research is good because it will help you understand what has and is happening to you and how you can make things better - things may not seem so daunting after this.

    I would suggest the following;

    1) Get a piece of paper and write down everything that has happened, how you feel, what is wrong and questions you have then take it to your GP (family doctor) for advice.

    2) Avoid all mind altering substances like the plague; and that includes alcohol which is a depressant, that can and will make things worse if you drink to excess (which means anything that gets you even normally drunk).

    3) Try to remember that depression is a very common thing, and while deeply unpleasant or even painful when experienced, it does pass and you will feel better but the recovery is a gradual one. Just take things one day at a time.

    4) Try to avoid your use triggers - these are situations and places where you are more likely to use (eg: parties where people you know will be smoking, or people who you know will want to go and get stoned). Let your trusted friends know that you are trying to stop and ask them if they will help you avoid these situations and not offer you any/do it around you.

    I think you might find it useful to look at these two factsheets from the mental health charity MIND as part of your research;

    This is a fact sheet is an introduction for young people to mental health issues;

    http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Factsheets/Children/young+persons+introduction+to+mental+health.htm

    This one deals in the most general terms with recreational drugs and mental health;

    http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+the+psychological+effects+of+street+drugs.htm

    TheSite.org has a number of good pages on mental health and drug use to look at - www.thesite.org.uk

    Take care,

    MB
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive done alot of research and learnt alot and i'm convinced that i'm not touching that stuff again. But my boyfriend loves it and is smarter than me so when i talk about how bad they can be he has some thing better to say back! Help!!!
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    But my boyfriend loves it and is smarter than me so when i talk about how bad they can be he has some thing better to say back! Help!!!

    What kinds of things does he say?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He gives me loads of facts about how they open your mind and stuff. Then he tells me that those sites i got my info off were just trying to scare people out of doing it and they aint all that bad. He points out people who haave done them and some that do and there perfectly fine.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He gives me loads of facts about how they open your mind and stuff. Then he tells me that those sites i got my info off were just trying to scare people out of doing it and they aint all that bad. He points out people who haave done them and some that do and there perfectly fine.

    This is a false debate - trawling through this site you will find several people who are regular users who seem to be able to have maintained a pattern of use over time that has not significantly affected them, health wise. You will also find the opposite.

    Let me give you an example about a drug FAR more widely researcher than the family you post about.

    Wind the clock back to 2000-2002 and you would find that, at that time, all the information (or at least a great deal of it) in the papers, popular media at the time, was saying that Cannabis was completely harmless and was the new wonder drug that was going to save us from everything.

    ALOT of people I know (including myself) who were in their teens back then got sucked into believing that it couldn't possibly be harmful, even when they started getting mood swings and panic attacks after long term heavy use (plus, not putting their college coursework in etc.).

    The thing that we couldn't get our heads round/were misled about; was that both of these were true - there are lots of people who can smoke cannabis and be fine, and there are loads who may varying degrees of mental health problems in tandem with their use.

    Now in direct relevance to your query, the fact that your boyfriend can turn around and state that because others are ok, so will you - is spurious, logically inconsistent and potentially dangerous.

    All brains, and all people, are at once similar and unique - no laboratory test possible could account for all the variation in effect that substances (particularly psychoactive ones) can have on a range of people in different circumstances - there are waaaay too many variables!

    The point is this: if you are experiencing depressive or anxious symptoms, or any other unpleasantness after taking a substance, which gets better or improves when it is removed; you will not get any better evidence that that about the substance's specific effects on you than that, end of story.

    This is to say nothing of the fact that any drug you take is surely for pleasurable reasons, and if you aren't enjoying it then you should abstain - what's the point?!

    Just something to consider.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for your advice and i see where youre coming from.
    Its the legal stuff i cant go near.
    But my boyfriend loves it and i just wana try stear him away.
    I've managed to keep him clean a month unless hes been doing it behind my back. But i dont think so cause he can go a few weeks without it but after a month he starts to really want it.
    He says he NEEDS it.
    Then he gets really down.
    And now every day i hear the same thing ''Oh man i need a joint''.
    I ended up in a mental hospital because these drugs got me so down i thought every1 hated me and i tried to kill myself (and very nearly did) I just dont want him going down the same road.
    You know?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Unfortunately, there is very little you can do apart from keep on keeping on.

    The only other thing you could do is refer him to this site; there are a number of people on here who I think will be able to provide evidence that he is labouring under a misapprehension if he thinks this stuff is all completely harmless.

    A search of previous threads on the strings 'Legal Highs' or 'PEP pills' will bring up previous discussions from this board, in which the problems with these unregulated substances is talked about.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just wanna slap him and tell him to cop on. Hahaha :lol:
    It anoys me alot and he knows this and has cut down alot but i really hate itt when he has drugs because he forgets about me and untill there all gone its all about the drugs.
    Ant thats when we have most fights.
    Both me and my dad said that he will have to make a choice. Me, or the drugs.
    I'm fed up to be honest.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All you can do is keep on keeping on, but there may come a time in the future when the strain on your relationship becomes too great - I hope he clocks on to this before that happens.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like it's your boyfriend who has the problem and needs to say no. If he needs these drugs, he needs serious help. Get info aswell off Wikipedia, that's a good source for information on most drugs, he can't say Wikipedia is "scaring" people into not doing them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He says that its all ''bullshit'' and the ''government'' is trying to scare us. lol
    What is with stoners and the government. lol
    I dont know if he really needs help though. He dont seem that bad.
    He gets really mad at me when i bring it up tho.
    So i cant talk to him about it cause he just shouts and says oh ive been clean for months blah blah blah.
    Its anoying and i know from my own experience how bad they can be.
    I just want him to understand.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Given the legal situation there has been massively more research into the illegal drugs compared to the 'legal high' market.

    For a start they havent been through extensive trials like the illegal drugs, and in reality there seems to be next to no knowledge as to their long term effects.

    As to your more specific problem with your boyfriend, it sounds like your use has had a big negative impact on your mental health. I would suggest that you talk to him about what it has done to you and ask him to support you in your non-use, if he cant do this then I do think you need to cut your contact. I know that sounds harsh, but you can not have a partner who doesnt care about your mental health.

    As for the 'legal highs' being safe because X person has used them and been fine, that may well be true, but you know for a fact that it hasnt been safe for you. Keep that in mind and be strong.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He doesnt listen to me!
    Yesterday he went a bought a bag of weed and didnt tell me!!!
    He says he wont smoke it for a while.
    Hes dad had a drug propblem years and years ago and everytime he finds drugs on my boyfriend he smokes them himself!!!!
    He has cancer and a bad heart.
    I find my boyfriend selfish for doing this.
    He ''needs'' drugs to be happy.
    Am i not good enough!!!!! :crying: :crying: :crying:
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