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What should I do??
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm currently studying abroad. Two months ago, one of my guy friends confessed that he liked me. I hadn't thought about him in that way before, but when I considered it, I felt like it would be nice to have a relationship with him. He's a nice guy, very sweet and kind of shy.
I spoke to him after thinking things through and said, "If you still feel that way about me, maybe we should see where this goes". He said he was confused and had to sort out a few things as well. He also mentioned that he wasn't looking for something too serious. I said that I felt the same way.
I left him some time to think about it and after the two weeks he still hadn't said anything about that topic to me and it seemed like he was trying to avoid me. So the next time I got a chance to talk to him, I asked him if he'd thought about things. He said he had thought about it and decided that it was best to not start anything, because I'll be leaving at the end of the year (in May) and he couldn't see a way to make that work. He said that I was a really great person as well, and that we should just stay good friends.
I said okay at the time, but inside I felt differently. I had really started to like him and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to dispute his reason for not wanting to start anything. Especially since he was the one who said earlier he didn't want anything serious. Did he just say that to figure out what I wanted? Or had he seriously reconsidered things since then? Or is he just too shy or scared to start something?
I decided to let it rest over Christmas, but now that we're back at uni and our exams are over, I still feel like I really like him a lot.
Should I let him know how I feel, or just let things go?
I would really like to have something with him, even if its only a short while, but I don't know how to let him know that.
Also, right now, things are fine between us, they were a bit weird for a while and I don’t want things to get weird again.
I spoke to him after thinking things through and said, "If you still feel that way about me, maybe we should see where this goes". He said he was confused and had to sort out a few things as well. He also mentioned that he wasn't looking for something too serious. I said that I felt the same way.
I left him some time to think about it and after the two weeks he still hadn't said anything about that topic to me and it seemed like he was trying to avoid me. So the next time I got a chance to talk to him, I asked him if he'd thought about things. He said he had thought about it and decided that it was best to not start anything, because I'll be leaving at the end of the year (in May) and he couldn't see a way to make that work. He said that I was a really great person as well, and that we should just stay good friends.
I said okay at the time, but inside I felt differently. I had really started to like him and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to dispute his reason for not wanting to start anything. Especially since he was the one who said earlier he didn't want anything serious. Did he just say that to figure out what I wanted? Or had he seriously reconsidered things since then? Or is he just too shy or scared to start something?
I decided to let it rest over Christmas, but now that we're back at uni and our exams are over, I still feel like I really like him a lot.
Should I let him know how I feel, or just let things go?
I would really like to have something with him, even if its only a short while, but I don't know how to let him know that.
Also, right now, things are fine between us, they were a bit weird for a while and I don’t want things to get weird again.
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Comments
Though thats just my advice, and possible its not a good idea to follow it :thumb:
You're in a difficult and frustrating situation - he's awakened the feelings but then he's backed off leaving you with all these feelings with nowhere to go. I don't blame you for feeling confused.
In some ways you may as well talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel about him because if he doesn't feel the same way then you're in the same situation you're in now - but risking rejection isn't easy and I wouldn't blame you, as you've only got a small window of time to make this happen to just leave it be.
Only you know how you feel about him and if you'll regret not telling him how you feel or if your feelings are fleeting and will pass with time. You've already done a sensible thing by waiting and seeing if the feelings stay after some time apart and you seem to be sure that they have.
Good luck with it whatever you choose to do. Keep posting and let us know how you get on.
Lisa
But basically, I'm afraid that if I am too forward, or even if I just bring up the topic, he might get weird again.
I'm not really sure how he feels about me right now, and if he still has feelings for me. If I knew he liked still liked me, I definitely would talk to him and figure out if we can make this work.
It is sort of complicated by the fact that I'm only going to be here for four more months. I really don't see that as much of a problem, but he apparently does. I feel that, depending on how things stand at the end of that time, we could attempt a long distance relationship, and there's always the possibility of me returning here after I'm done with my studies back home.
All of us there pretty much knew each other. I started flirting with him, and tried to get him to dance with me. But it was weird. Every time I would end up where he was, he would go somewhere else. It was like playing cat and mouse. He even had one of his guy friends help him stay away from me. At one point, I had found him in the middle of the dance floor and went up to him and we were sort of talking and dancing. He seemed a bit awkward about it all and then his friend comes up and just pulls him away, leaving me in the middle of the dance floor, alone. It was uber weird. I sort of figured out that he was uncomfortable and stopped trying to dance with him, but even then, whenever I was near where he was, within a minute he would leave.
So now I'm confused and I'm afraid I've made a fool of myself by flirting with him, and I feel so stupid. I don't know if I should still try and talk to him or if I should just leave it and try to forget about it. Somehow.
He's leaving for a vacation tomorrow and I suppose he will be gone for at least a week. If I should talk to him, should I do it now, or wait till after he comes back?