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Trust
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Please can you guys help me out... somebody...
My girlfriend tonight told me she doesnt think i trust her...
As she said she was going clubbing tonight and i said im always a tiny bit worried, not cos i think she wud do anything but because she is pretty so boys will of course still try..
Now its made her really turn a bit horrible at me... Its really hurting because,
I have trust issues with girls... due to bad experiences.. But this is the only girl i have honestly ever trusted..
What can i do to show her this?
She just won't believe me..
My girlfriend tonight told me she doesnt think i trust her...
As she said she was going clubbing tonight and i said im always a tiny bit worried, not cos i think she wud do anything but because she is pretty so boys will of course still try..
Now its made her really turn a bit horrible at me... Its really hurting because,
I have trust issues with girls... due to bad experiences.. But this is the only girl i have honestly ever trusted..
What can i do to show her this?
She just won't believe me..
0
Comments
You're sending a clear message that you don't think she would have the self control to resist temptation from these guys. That isn't really trusting her is it! And obviously she's picking up on these doubts.
Unless of course you're just jealous of the attention she's receiving from these guys? If she's attractive then that's just something you'll have to get used to. If you do honestly trust her then you'll know that nothing will ever happen, and therefore there's nothing to worry about.
The thing is, i trust her you know? I just obviously dont like the fact there are other guys who will want the girl i love... i guess i need to just get used to that as life tho!!!
I just wish she would see because i do trust her is the thing..
Just try and be happy in the knowledge that she IS with you! It's too easy to get preoccupied with what everyone else is doing. Maybe if you go out with her some time it might set your mind at ease? Not in a 'chaperone' way, just as a chance to get to know her more in that environment. One way to show her you do trust her is to try hard not to make comments about it, even if you feel you have to (but really you shouldn't have to say anything if you know she won't do anything, right?!)
I understand where you are coming from. My bf and I had this wonderfully circular argument as I went out with some girls I haven't seen in months (I met them whilst working abroad) and we had theme nights and of course, we were approached by a lot of guys especially asking after our theme. We were poor excuses for jockeys. Anyway, so my bf is out and walking home drunk a week later and calls me all lovey dovey, then the tone changes to asking after some random guy who'd ducked into a photo with us and he'd flung his arm round me.
Now to be told one second 'I trust you, I don't trust them' is contradictory even though I know what you mean. My bf is a beautiful person inside and out; women approach him. The thing is, I'm confident in myself and he has filled me with the confidence that he is the person I am with, and therefore any girls approaching him aren't getting anywhere. You're insecurity is...yours. She got lairy because she thinks you're accusing her of something. It's not about her really, it's about you and the confidence you have in yourself and your relationship with her, but that translated as you not trusting her because there is something in you that thinks that another guy is capable of taking her from you or maybe you don't deserve someone like her; but obviously, you do.
I don't know the cure, some reassurance from her but some positivity about yourself is neccessary too. She is with you, and that says everything. Don't burden her as she makes her way out the door to have a good night out with the idea that you're worrying about what she's up to - showing that faith in her, even if you don't feel like it, will do you good, will make you realise that when she comes back through the door to you, that you were worrying over nothing.
trust is a really big issue in all relationships and I always think that if you have had the trust taken away from you from previous relationships it is harder to accept in others.
Whilst it is good to be together it is also good to have what I class as our own space so that we still see our friends. I know that when my husband goes out he is with his mates...but in the first stages of our friendship/relationship I did not trust him. It has to built over a period time in the relationship. It is a hard one to do but without being able to trust one another then it will not work between two people. Do you think trust is a must? I do...if you cannot trust the person that you are with then what is the point in carrying on? Just let the person have their own space and you do the same. It is normal for men and women to look at each other but that is as far as it should go if you are already in a relationship. It is also about being honest with each other both like I said are hard at the begining stage.