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women are the biggest threat to the feminist movement???

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I went to the reclaim the night march last night, and it was highly emotional, and there were quite a few arguements starting between the sex positive and sex negative feminists. But one thing we did agree on was that the biggest problem currently facing the feminist movement is other women. This is because so many have been conditioned by female led press with pictures of how they are meant to dress/eat/work/live, and that so many are now of the opinion that we have nothing left to fight for.

Just to prove we do:
women do not feel safe to walk on their local streets at night, due to the threat of rape and attack. there is only 1 rape crisis centre in london, we have the lowest rape conviction rate in europe, yet one of the highest number of reports, pimps are still not being charged, and the prositutes are being sent to jail- often when they have been trafficed or forced into it, there are very few support projects for victims of pimping and trafficing, self esteem is at an all time low amongst 11-25 year olds, equality in pay is still not happening for many individuals, more is expected of us than ever before (i.e. sucessful career, marriage, family, kids etc, not just a few), public childcare is still not sufficient, sex education and support for young mums isn't good, access to gynocological services is very patchy...the list goes on...

and this is just in britain. there are a plethora of other issues that are affecting women abroad, who we need to speak up for.

Possibly not the best put together arguement, but do you agree, that one of the main problems feminism faces is women themselves and the atitude that its all been said and done.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yep, I'll agree with all that. I'm too knackered to say anything else right now, so I'll come back to this one later.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it's more complex than that. It's a huge history of social conditioning. But I think it's right that feminism's biggest threat is the wider social circle, rather than any antiquated ideas of a "male-dominated" media, or "male-authored religious and moral codes." Both rely hugely on the participation of their intended audiences in order to flourish, rather than some sort of imposed top-down set of values. I've seen certain people claim that when it comes to religion, it is generally the woman in most families that will "enforce" the religious code, even if it's clearly a highly misogynistic dogma. It's not the sort of law-making power that men might have in such societies, but it's the informing of public opinion that determines what sort of society you'll have. So for example, when the Saudi Royal Family had to scrap their plans to allow women to drive, I suspect the public opinion that forced them to do this wasn't exclusively, or even mainly male. If you have been taught that set of values, then you believe in them even when it might be to your detriment, and then demand that the same values are taught to your children.

    The "male-control" in media stops at what makes money. They have no input into the content of a magazine like Heat, as long as it sells. Rupert Murdoch funds both Fox News and Family Guy, and you couldn't get much further apart than that in terms of the messages and political opinions.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think also feminists themselves can be quite a threat to the feminist movement. I certainly feel alienated by it (partly one of the reasons I'd never go on a Reclaim The Night march). Perhaps if they spent less time bickering among themselves that, "X is feminist, and anyone who disagrees goes in that non-feminist corner over there," perhaps there would be more progression.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go_away wrote: »
    I think also feminists themselves can be quite a threat to the feminist movement. I certainly feel alienated by it (partly one of the reasons I'd never go on a Reclaim The Night march). Perhaps if they spent less time bickering among themselves that, "X is feminist, and anyone who disagrees goes in that non-feminist corner over there," perhaps there would be more progression.

    :yes: But to be fair not just feminists being a threat to feminism, socialists are the biggest threat to socialism, christians the biggest threat to christianity etc

    Any group which defines themselves solely by an 'ism' is going to be looked at slightly strangely by the broad mass of the population who are suspicious of their zealotry. They in turn don't try to bring the population along and instead resort to in-fighting and how many angels dance on a pinhead
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think it's a case at all that women have nothing left to fight for, but at least in some theatres the 'battleground' is changing. One could argue now the best way to promote feminism in the UK is more subversive methods i.e. encouraging women to take up male dominated industries and political posts (e.g. this labour government has more women MPs than any other ever). Because now it is not a case of the laws and regulations - where you could happily protest outside downing street or whatever - but more of glass ceilings because of people's pre set ideas. Are you going to get that promotion over a man who is statistically less likely to take time off and be more driven? You have to prove that you are 'masculine' and driven in order to get the promotion, often by working harder than everyone else.

    But then that's not the establishments fault, it's just peoples attitudes. So normalising the attitude that women are equally capable in work or whatever by encouraging women to be more competitive for those roles in my opinion is the kind of direction in my opinion it should be moving.

    So I don't think the biggest enemy is other women, but it's society as a whole. Although, I read recently that women tend to be more critical of other women than men are (i.e. in a workplace)... so maybe there is an element of truth that 'women sticking together' is less so now than it was in the past. But that's speculation on my part based on an article I read recently.

    Some interesting and eloquently put answers here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080917062650AA80H66
    In all the confusion of about women's perceptions of women's roles women stifle or jostle each other either to remain very traditional or to be fully emancipated. Older women feel threatened by younger women breaking free of domesticity and tut-tut when a daughter announces she chooses a career over marriage. Many generations need to pass by before we are left with women without guilt. Women who are free to make choices and be recognised as a person rather than a woman, a sexual object, or a second class citizen. It takes time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :yes: But to be fair not just feminists being a threat to feminism, socialists are the biggest threat to socialism, christians the biggest threat to christianity etc

    Any group which defines themselves solely by an 'ism' is going to be looked at slightly strangely by the broad mass of the population who are suspicious of their zealotry. They in turn don't try to bring the population along and instead resort to in-fighting and how many angels dance on a pinhead
    I think thats true because people who define themselves as something like that, are often people who are very passionate about it, and that can be offputting to more moderate types - which are most people, even if they agree with a lot of the sentiments.

    Basically the only way to appeal to all, is to pretend that nothing is that important to you or defines you
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SCC - I agree with that. My friend believes she should be equal, and believes that she is treated equally at least by her friends, family and peers - and although she would obviously advocate women's rights where there is a conflict she does not class herself as a feminist because she argues feminists are man haters etc. - although another mutual friend with strong feminist ideas told her that she was sexist herself because she cooks for her boyfriend. So in some ways it does seem that there is this 'infighting' in "how to be a good woman".

    Are you a good woman by looking after your family? My friend definately takes pride in her (considerable) cooking ability and loves cooking for her boyfriend and friends. Whenever I'm back home I take a bottle of wine round and she cooks me a feast to welcome me home. But on the other hand, our other friend would argue she is being a poor example of an emancipated woman, by living up to the stereotypes that she has to look after others as a slave almost. So it's not all that surprising when she believes that's what feminism is, that she doesn't wish to be associated with it.

    I should also point out that my friend (who likes cooking) is very very much an alpha female who 'wears the trousers' in the relationship, so it's not a clear cut case in my example of strong women embracing their liberty and weak women being pushed around. I think you really need to make it so that moderate girls like my friend can feel they can be a feminist and support their rights, but also able to live their life how they would like to without being told off or made to feel like they've done something wrong.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think a lot of people feel alienated by many of the most vocal feminists, because their views are so extreme and rigid. The aims of feminists seem hard to define now. In the past there were serious problems they had to deal with - things like allowing women to vote, get divorced and get equal pay. I don't think there are many things that effect all women now, there are still problems and inequalities, but becuase everyone is more individual now there's no clear view of the next important thing that needs to change.
    I think shyboy's example of a friend being told she's sexist because she likes cooking is a common thing for some feminists. I know one feminist who seems so concerned with doing the opposite of the stereotypical femal role that she doesn't concentrate on doing what makes her happy, which seems counter productive if feminism is supposed to be about making women's lives better.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its funny though because I know a lot of feminists, people who define themselves as such, people involved in spare rib and a lot of the more radical feminist stuff of the late 70s early 80s and beyond, yet ive never met anyone who would tell someone she wasnt a feminist because she liked cooking or because she wanted to be a stay at home parent.

    I find these stereotypes a bit strange really. It isnt my experience
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that the reason a lot of people refuse to call themselves 'Feminist' is because they assume feminism to be entirely homogenous when of course it isn't.

    I think there are really some terrible 'feminist' stereotypes out there which are very silly and ignorant. People who call themselves 'feminists' are probably very likely to believe in the equality for the sexes, but feminism has so many different forms and exists in several cultures, has movements in different religions ect.

    I think that when we ask what women have to fight for... We also have to ask what women?

    Different groups have different needs... For example, The Fawcett Society has a different campaign to Southall Black Sisters.

    Gosh I could write a lot on this....

    *Buts needs ma dinner*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    From what i've experianced, it seems that many in the so called "millitant" feminist camp are spliting. Half see no problem with legalising prositution, women having equal support if they decide that they want a career of being a stay at home mum, or if they want to be a high flying (or not as it seems now) banker. Half still feel that they have to use a masculine model and be the best you can in your career...

    surely caring for the home and family makes you a good person reguardless of your gender, as its not a gender specific role anymore. but then again so does going out and earning money to support the household...thus does it matter what gender these people are, as long as they are happy and supported whilst doing it?

    I can't see why there are many man-hating feminists, and i won't say there aren't any because i met a tonne on saturday night. a lot of feminists are the worst for sexism, they ban men from marches, workshops and groups (some understandably, like those dealing with female sexuality and rape victims), but i can understand how male feminists can feel completely alienated!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dunno what you mean by 'militant' feminists :confused:

    But there have always been divisions and arguements between people who subscribe to different breeds of feminism.

    ETA: But I haven't met many man hating feminists... I do agree with women only space sometimes too. However, you will have some at the demonstration, as you get extremes at any demo.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Let's remember that feminists don't really give a crap about the "wrong type" of woman. Sarah Palin gave the lie away. Here was a woman who believed in creationist values, was against abortion and held Right-wing views. Immediately, feminists came crashing down on her, disowning her, feeding slanderous lies to Internet blogs with a hidden agenda. Notice that most of the criticism of Sarah Palin came from women columnists in the media? It's always the same - whether it be in politics, showbiz or anything else. Women are far harder on women than they are on men.

    Want another example? Cast your mind back to the time when David Beckham was caught out (allegedly) having an affair with Rebecca Loos? Who's the person who got criticised the most - Rebecca Loos for shamefully trying to seduce a married man? David Beckham for being unable to keep his trousers on? No, it was Victoria. And most of the people who thought the wife was to blame was other women! So much for solidarity and sticking up for one another eh, sisters?

    Next, I get the impression that women only want equality when it suits them. They want the same wage as a man, and that's fair enough. However, they're also allowed by law to retire five years BEFORE men do, yet they live on average three or four years longer than the males. Why isn't the feminist movement crying out for both sexes to be allowed to retire at the same age? The likes of Harriet Harman, who normally love the sound of their own voices, fall deaf at moments like this.

    Why is so much more money spent on women's health than men's? But we shouldn't be surprised. There's votes to be won in campaigning for a cure for breast cancer, after all. Just ask Patricia Hewitt. When she was Health Secretary, she abused her position as a minister to order the supposedly independent drugs rationing body Nice to allow Herceptin to be prescribed on the NHS. Would she have ordered them to do the same thing were Herceptin a drug to deal with prostate cancer? Nah, I somehow suspect not - and I also suspect the media would have let her get away with it.

    If women have it so badly, how come they're doing so much better than the guys in the education system? They do better at GCSEs, A-Levels and at our universities. Years of campaigning by "progressive" politicians and lobby groups have brought about massive improvements in education for women - I say this is rightly so, before anyone dares accuse me of having some woman-bashing agenda - but this is at the expense of men. Results for the boys have actually FALLEN in the last few years in some subjects.

    I can already see the flames off the horizon...
    Older women feel threatened by younger women breaking free of domesticity and tut-tut when a daughter announces she chooses a career over marriage. Many generations need to pass by before we are left with women without guilt...
    What the hell does that actually mean? Is this person seriously saying that generations of women need to die before feminism takes effect? Clearly that man needs to get out more.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    there were quite a few at the demo on saturday, made me really angry.

    by millitant, i mean those who are anti-men, of an attitude - "I am emancipated and thus don't need society, as its all run by men and they are the root of all evil- those who don't want to work with the intitutions, just fight against them, those who seem to have been angsty in the 70's when they were teenagers, and seem to be of the same antiestablishment view still. people who are very intollerant of sex positive views, i could go on...

    but i'm finding more and more of these people, and they aren't in their 40/50's anymore they seem to be getting younger, and it pushes me away from the core of the movement...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Namaste wrote: »
    Dunno what you mean by 'militant' feminists :confused:

    The same thing people mean by "militant" atheists. It's just a way of attempting to discredit someone and make them appear intolerant, rather than actually address their arguments.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Let's remember that feminists don't really give a crap about the "wrong type" of woman. Sarah Palin gave the lie away. Here was a woman who believed in creationist values, was against abortion and held Right-wing views. Immediately, feminists came crashing down on her, disowning her, feeding slanderous lies to Internet blogs with a hidden agenda. Notice that most of the criticism of Sarah Palin came from women columnists in the media? It's always the same - whether it be in politics, showbiz or anything else. Women are far harder on women than they are on men.
    So?

    This doesn't really make a point against anything. Being a feminist does not mean that you aren't allowed to criticise another women.

    Of course Palin received criticism for women because she was against abortion.
    If women have it so badly, how come they're doing so much better than the guys in the education system? They do better at GCSEs, A-Levels and at our universities. Years of campaigning by "progressive" politicians and lobby groups have brought about massive improvements in education for women - I say this is rightly so, before anyone dares accuse me of having some woman-bashing agenda - but this is at the expense of men. Results for the boys have actually FALLEN in the last few years in some subjects.
    Could be because of other factors. Where is there evidence that women are favoured in education? Perhaps this is to do with macho subcultures, increasing poverty... Surely there's a reason for this?

    Because women get better grades (in some areas), does this mean that women have more access to power after education?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i do agree, that women are the first to criticise other women, and they are harder on other women than most men are. It pains me that women don't stick up for other women any more, and that the movement is so intollerant..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i do agree, that women are the first to criticise other women, and they are harder on other women than most men are. It pains me that women don't stick up for other women any more, and that the movement is so intollerant..

    Here is a problem though...

    There is no single feminist movement, there are several different movements and groups.

    Just because one group is radical does not say anything about the other groups. It has nothing to do with the principle that men and women are equal.

    I think women are nasty to each other, I think men are hard on women in other ways. I think that women can be hard on men and men can be hard on each other (sorry to keep this on such a binary, I don't mean to exclude the inbetweenies).

    But Sarah Palin's criticism was well due. I am sure that people would have things to say if Obama decided to bring back seperate water fountains for 'coloureds'.

    Women do stick up for each other. The fact that so many women's rights groups exist globally is proof of this... Though I think that many people seem to view feminism as a homogenous middle class white movement.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This question doesn't appear to be aimed at me, but I'll answer it regardless. Free speech and all that...
    So you agree with Helen Mirren's recent comments?
    I assume this is a reference to Helen Mirren revealing she was date-raped as a young woman and her subsequent comments. Frankly, I thought her comments were ludicrous. Women jurors are likely to be "sexually jealous", according to her. So they'd be jealous that the other woman was raped, and thus must have somehow been asking for it? Is that seriously what she was saying? The woman's completely loopy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So you agree with Helen Mirren's recent comments?
    hell no!

    but i've been the brunt of some pretty nasty opinons, some of my ex female friends were pretty nasty when i came out as bi, where as all but 2 of my male friends were wholly supportive. Some women can be bitchy, but what Helen Mirren said was stupid. Anyone in their right mind wouldn't be jealous of being violated.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Was watching House t'other day and apparently if you grow up with someone who is very ill you can get 'jealous' in the sense you feel bitter because you're not getting the sympathy (i.e. it becomes a 'good' thing to be ill because you get looked after). Whether that's the same at all what Helen Mirren was referring to I have no idea.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Possibly not the best put together arguement, but do you agree, that one of the main problems feminism faces is women themselves and the atitude that its all been said and done.

    I'm so relieved that for this week at least, men are not to blame.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hell no!

    but i've been the brunt of some pretty nasty opinons, some of my ex female friends were pretty nasty when i came out as bi, where as all but 2 of my male friends were wholly supportive. Some women can be bitchy, but what Helen Mirren said was stupid. Anyone in their right mind wouldn't be jealous of being violated.

    Sorry to hear that mate.

    But do you think if you were a guy, the situation would have been the same?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think 'jelaous' is the wrong word for it, but I do believe some jurors- women or men- of particularly close-mindness and intolerance might think the victim must have been asking for it if she was wearing 'provocative' clothes or dare to make the first move, and see her as a 'slut'. Such people would be happy to blame the victim for the rape instead of the rapist.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Namaste wrote: »
    Sorry to hear that mate.

    But do you think if you were a guy, the situation would have been the same?
    no, i'm not so sure it would have been....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'll get behind that. Sometimes its almost as if the whole feminist movement is more roundabout than forward moving. I mean take women who falsely accuse men of rape. Its such a deplorable act that people have no choice but to take it very seriously and if an accusation is false then a man can be blacklisted for ... ever, really. So because of this it makes it more difficult for women to get justice when such a thing actually happens to them. But I guess I'm going on a tangent here.
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