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dont know what to do
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello folks, im Ri, just thought id introduce myself 
anyway, this really is a last resort to be honest, i need help.
me and my boyfriend have been together just over 13 months and to begin with the sex was a-mazing! And it stayed amazing until, well, i think just after we moved in together about a month ago.
i dont know whether its just me or this is normal but i like to enjoy sex at least once a day [which i think is fairly normal, he's 20 and im 22], im always trying to seduce him, parading around half naked, kissing him, being playful and flirty etc, but he just either waves me away or seems really uninterested, which of course, makes me feel silly and stupid and hurts my feelings.
hes started giving me excuses "i have a headache, im not feeling well, im tired..." etc. EVERY night.
BUT thats not all, you see, when i do FINALLY manage to get him in the mood [and this has only just started happening recently], it just seems like he cant be bothered with me, like hes just going through the motions to get it over with.
When we first started having sex it was brilliant, playing little games, dirty talking, trying loads of new postitions, toy play and generally pleasing eachother but now, he doesnt say anything and we only use 2 or 3 positions and it just seems so routine, we start this way, do a bout of that and end up this way, wham-bam, thankya-mam style. im lucky if it lasts 1/2 hour.
There is no foreplay for me and yet i play with him for great length of time, head, the works, he hasnt gone down on me in about 2 months, its like its not even an option anymore.
He hardly even touches me. He doesnt give my breasts any attention, when he used to spend loads of time playing and kissing etc.
also, ive noticed that there is no passion from him anymore. He never kisses me passionatly and when we do have sex its not like hes enjoying having sex with me, hes just enjoying the sex [if that makes an sense]
he doesnt even try and please me, its just basic sex. :crying:
also, i cant remember the last nice or romantic thing hes done for me.
i do nice and romantic little things for him all the time, just yesterday i left him a little note telling him all the ways and reasons i love him and left a packet of red liqurice [his fave] on his pillow while he was at work. no reaon, just becuase i love showing him how much i love him, but i get nothing back.
we didnt evedn have sex on our anniversary
its really depressing me :crying:
anyway, this really is a last resort to be honest, i need help.
me and my boyfriend have been together just over 13 months and to begin with the sex was a-mazing! And it stayed amazing until, well, i think just after we moved in together about a month ago.
i dont know whether its just me or this is normal but i like to enjoy sex at least once a day [which i think is fairly normal, he's 20 and im 22], im always trying to seduce him, parading around half naked, kissing him, being playful and flirty etc, but he just either waves me away or seems really uninterested, which of course, makes me feel silly and stupid and hurts my feelings.
hes started giving me excuses "i have a headache, im not feeling well, im tired..." etc. EVERY night.
BUT thats not all, you see, when i do FINALLY manage to get him in the mood [and this has only just started happening recently], it just seems like he cant be bothered with me, like hes just going through the motions to get it over with.
When we first started having sex it was brilliant, playing little games, dirty talking, trying loads of new postitions, toy play and generally pleasing eachother but now, he doesnt say anything and we only use 2 or 3 positions and it just seems so routine, we start this way, do a bout of that and end up this way, wham-bam, thankya-mam style. im lucky if it lasts 1/2 hour.
There is no foreplay for me and yet i play with him for great length of time, head, the works, he hasnt gone down on me in about 2 months, its like its not even an option anymore.
He hardly even touches me. He doesnt give my breasts any attention, when he used to spend loads of time playing and kissing etc.
also, ive noticed that there is no passion from him anymore. He never kisses me passionatly and when we do have sex its not like hes enjoying having sex with me, hes just enjoying the sex [if that makes an sense]
he doesnt even try and please me, its just basic sex. :crying:
also, i cant remember the last nice or romantic thing hes done for me.
i do nice and romantic little things for him all the time, just yesterday i left him a little note telling him all the ways and reasons i love him and left a packet of red liqurice [his fave] on his pillow while he was at work. no reaon, just becuase i love showing him how much i love him, but i get nothing back.
we didnt evedn have sex on our anniversary
its really depressing me :crying:
0
Comments
he's struggling with money issues this month so i guess that could be a contributing factor... i guess ill just have to wait and see...
he makes all these promises and then just doesnt act on them.
i cant go back now, i have a job here and i moved 120 miles to be with him, io have no choice but to stay.
Out of interest before you moved in together how often did you see each other if there was 120 miles between you? It may be that he isn't used to you being around as much as you are now (even with work etc) and as Yerascote has mentioned he may be feeling a little trapped. He may find your way of showing affection a little suffocating and therefore it is having the opposite effect.
Just a thought, may be way off the mark though...
if he's feeling trapped then he shouldnt have asked me to move in with him
and before we moved in we saw eachother once a week for about 2 days, sometimes more.
this thread has really made me think and made me see alot more than i was aware of.
im going to have to sit and really think about this relationship now, the last thing i want to do is stifle his independance and push him away. if he's happier being away from me more then i have to think of my options...
i love him so much, he's everything to me. If i leave he'll think i dont love him anymore.
of course there's still the chance that it won't work out, but talking about it won't do any harm
Seems that there's something underlying that's the problem - most men wouldn't complain with a very flirty playful girlfriend!
did you break up?
Some people just deserve to have their lives be hit with the bat of shit and never recover just to realise reality's true nature of random entropy and inherent misanthropia. But of course that will never happen since I'm fairly sure this is not reality.
It's bull like this that makes no sense. Ri, I'm sorry, but I have no clue what that fool is doing or what's going through his head. The only time I've ever experienced a significant drop in sexual desire, both emotionally and physiologically, was under heavy dosages of narcotics. But we're all wired differently so who knows. Confront him about it.
really not looking forward to it...