If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Women, do you just assume a guy who doesn't approach isn't interested?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi
Women, if guys don't approach you do you just assume they are not interested?
I've just read an article written by a guy which states the above. It also goes onto say how women simply don't realise how intimidating 95% of guys find approaching women.
Another point it made was that women like confident men and that by failing to approach you assume they are not confident?. Surely confidence is subjective. I mean, i have a mate who will gladly get up on stage and sing which is something i'll never dare do for the rest of my life. However when it comes to approaching women, i'm not aware he's ever approached ANYONE, where as at least i've done it on the odd occasion.
I'll admit i'm one of those guys who find approaching highly intimidating though, and if there's more than say two women together i'd never date approach.
Andy
Women, if guys don't approach you do you just assume they are not interested?
I've just read an article written by a guy which states the above. It also goes onto say how women simply don't realise how intimidating 95% of guys find approaching women.
Another point it made was that women like confident men and that by failing to approach you assume they are not confident?. Surely confidence is subjective. I mean, i have a mate who will gladly get up on stage and sing which is something i'll never dare do for the rest of my life. However when it comes to approaching women, i'm not aware he's ever approached ANYONE, where as at least i've done it on the odd occasion.
I'll admit i'm one of those guys who find approaching highly intimidating though, and if there's more than say two women together i'd never date approach.
Andy
0
Comments
No? ...... What does that mean?
Thanks
Andy
I've been around a few guys I knew were keen but never said or did anything decisive enough. I'm probably harsh but it is a turn-off when a guy doesn't dare to approach me. It makes me wonder why he isn't if he's interested.
Sure it's a scary thing but I prefer self confident guys that reach for what they want. If *I* am keen as well I will of course somehow try to encourage those guys to approach me but if nothing happens despite that I drop it.
Id love to be able to do it whenever and wherever I want but Im too shy.
it was an answer to the question
But, aparently i am the second most intimidating person i know, so its unlikely to happen with anyone asides good friends unless they are as brave as a medival night going to battle a dragon.
Hi
So why do women come to the conclusion that if a guy doesn't approach, he isn't interested enough? ........ i'm guessing Cosmo ???
Andy
Does cosmo still exist?
yeah, bound to be cosmo
And Dibbs.
omg how did you guess?????:shocking: :shocking: :shocking:
:rolleyes:
Are all guys' opinions based on Nuts?
Back to the original question, I don't have much self-esteem, so like Simba, I find it hard to believe that anyone's interested in me (guy or girl, as a friend or otherwise) if they don't approach me. But I can imagine how scary it would be to "approach" someone you're interested in, like at a bar or a club. Usually, I just meet people through shared interests (like at a sports club) or through friends, so the approaching thing isnt really an issue. You just end up chatting to random people and see what happens. If I go to a bar or club, I'm there to hang out with my friends, not pick guys up.
But the reality in all things regarding people is that we're stupidly (excessively) complicated. I think a lot comes down to how people believe they are perceived by others and you've had probably a common answer in this thread:
Sorry to quote you simba, but I know plenty of people who are male and female who would relate to the above comment very much. But then again some people would be annoyed if you did approach them, even in a friendly way.
In conclusion, it's impossible to work out one way or the other because everybody is different, but I would say based on gut instinct - so long as you aren't creepy or stalkerish about it I think it's better to make your feelings known and take a chance than hold back and hope they'll make the first move. Fortune favours the bold!
I've never had a woman approach me directly, but they always seem to find a way of getting my number. I think if a woman likes a man then she'd be nuts not to do something about it, but I don't think many women like the direct approach.
Neither do I, that's why I love meeting friends of my mates girlfirends!.. always a way to get their number the next day