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long distance driving me crazy :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
ok, i'm at home doing college for a year and my boyfriend has started at university about 100 miles away. he just came home last weekend and it was great to be actually near each other for a change. anyway, he went back on the sunday night and it was his birthday on monday, and even though i texted him a couple of times i didn't hear from him all day, not even a text back.
i know he has to be there, but it just feels like whenever he's there he forgets that he still needs to be there for me.
we've been together 3 years, and i'm determined not to be like a lot of couples and let university cause problems and eventually lead to us breaking up, but i'm finding it so so hard not being able to control this situation. i have no doubts about trusting him, but i still worry.

this is the mental bit as well, i usually check my horoscopes just out of curiosity, and was reading the forecast for his sign, which i do after mine and it said "Fulfilling commitments is important, but you may not be able hold back your irrepressible need for more independence as Saturn moves toward its life-changing opposition with Uranus"

please tell me im being stupid and that horoscopes are really unreliable. i just feel in the state of mind that means i'm grabbing onto every piece of negative information i read or hear, just to fuel my angriness and sadness at him being gone. i'm scared that he will end up thinking that he doesn't need a girlfriend while he's at uni, which is ridiculous, but its the mindset that im in and i want to get out of it!!!

help!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't listen to the horoscope, he was probably just really busy on his birthday and getting loads of texts filling his phone!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Long distance can be painful but long-distance can also be great, depends on how you approach it. Some relationships do fall by the wayside when couples go to Uni, but you shouldn't worry about it. He's going through a monumental change in his life right now - the shift from college into Uni (if you leave home for it that is...) is a huge shift and is going to have an impact on the majority of people.

    Plus the first week of Uni is pretty manic on all levels, academically and socially. If it feels like he's neglecting you for the next few weeks it's to be expected. My advice (from a horrible boy's point of view) would be to keep in touch but keep it as supportive and as lighthearted as possible. The first couple of months of him being there is going to be weird, just go with the flow for now.

    And don't read your own horoscope, nevermind his.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Horoscopes are bullshit, complete, total and utter guesswork based on using general statements that apply to many people in a non specific way.

    Put your faith in him and not in a horoscope.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SnuggleBubbles wrote: »
    Horoscopes are bullshit,

    Unless you're a girl and you believe that shite.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that you doubt is genuine
    however i dont believe in horroscopes though
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont think you should wory about horroscopes because i just belive they a way of tricking you into a flace sence of security
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    g_angel wrote: »
    Unless you're a girl and you believe that shite.
    I love horoscopes, I don't take them seriously though. But your comment actually made me laugh!

    My LD lasted a few months...the bugger never came to see me in the end so it ended.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Nahnah,

    Long distance relationships are very stressful by their very nature so don't be too hard on yourself for feeling this way.

    Horoscopes are written for fun mostly, mainly as entertainment. There are some horoscopes which are supposed to be more accurate (though not scientifically proven) but these are usually given as individual readings by trained people using more specific information such as time of birth. What I'm getting at is that the ones in magazines / newspapers are so broad as to not be worth being upset about.

    Thesite.org has an article about long distance relationships you might find useful.

    Keep communicating with your boyfriend, let him know that when he doesn't reply to your texts it upsets you. Make sure you make it clear you don't mean that you want 'instantaneous' responses but that you just want him to respond. That or try to communicate less by texts and more on the phone - short phonecalls just to say hi, that kind of thing. Just because its less easy to misunderstand a phonecall whereas texts are often misunderstood as you can't tell the tone from them.

    Hope some of that helps, I've been where you are and its not an easy path but it can work, if both of you work at it.

    Lisa
    :)
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