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should things really be like this after 6 months?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
me and my fella are going through a bit of a rocky patch at the moment and i just want a bit of advice really.
things just aren't how they were at the beginning. i realise that it could be that the 'honeymoon' period could have fizzled out but should things really be like this after 6 months?
he rarely wants sex anymore and i find this really strange after being in a number of relationships. he wants it once every two days at most and well if im completely honest, its more, him wanting favours off me and him not returning them. he blames it on my tiredness and moodyness but tbh, this is a load of rubbish because i make moves as soon as i see him and he makes excuses. it could be just that he's lazy *shrugs* i dunno. he's a few years older than me but men's sex drive never just disappears does it???? im just feeling really unattractive and insecure right now because he never wants to touch me. im a size 10 yet he is constantly making remarks about how much i eat and how ive put on weight since imet him. what he doesn't realise though is that i had serious issues with my weight (still do really, just manage it better) and the only reason i was as skinny as i was is because i didn't eat
he just seems to be constantly telling me everything i do wrong...from what i say, to what i do...he's even told me he hates my hair colour thats him just being honest though tbh.
he never really likes to hug me. he says he just needs his own space but tbh, im a huggy person and its one thing i want and need out of a relationship. i literally have to ask for hugs and alot of the time he will just cross his arms, smirk and ignore me. after 6 months, should all the kissesa nd cuddles have disappeared?!
we told each other we loved each other a few months ago but since then, he won't say it. whenever i've told him i love him, he has responded with "ok" and not said it back. i don't think he loves me anymore and well, im wondering whether he loved me at all and it was lust he felt.
ive tried talking to him about all this but he thinks im being silly and has said if i bring all this up once more, we are over. he seems unable to communicate. he says that me questionning his feelings is insensitive. he is making me feel rubbish though - surely i should be able to talk to him about how im feeling?
i love him so much so all this is really hurting as my heart is telling me to stay with him and hoping he will change but my head is telling me otherwise
things just aren't how they were at the beginning. i realise that it could be that the 'honeymoon' period could have fizzled out but should things really be like this after 6 months?
he rarely wants sex anymore and i find this really strange after being in a number of relationships. he wants it once every two days at most and well if im completely honest, its more, him wanting favours off me and him not returning them. he blames it on my tiredness and moodyness but tbh, this is a load of rubbish because i make moves as soon as i see him and he makes excuses. it could be just that he's lazy *shrugs* i dunno. he's a few years older than me but men's sex drive never just disappears does it???? im just feeling really unattractive and insecure right now because he never wants to touch me. im a size 10 yet he is constantly making remarks about how much i eat and how ive put on weight since imet him. what he doesn't realise though is that i had serious issues with my weight (still do really, just manage it better) and the only reason i was as skinny as i was is because i didn't eat
he just seems to be constantly telling me everything i do wrong...from what i say, to what i do...he's even told me he hates my hair colour thats him just being honest though tbh.he never really likes to hug me. he says he just needs his own space but tbh, im a huggy person and its one thing i want and need out of a relationship. i literally have to ask for hugs and alot of the time he will just cross his arms, smirk and ignore me. after 6 months, should all the kissesa nd cuddles have disappeared?!
we told each other we loved each other a few months ago but since then, he won't say it. whenever i've told him i love him, he has responded with "ok" and not said it back. i don't think he loves me anymore and well, im wondering whether he loved me at all and it was lust he felt.
ive tried talking to him about all this but he thinks im being silly and has said if i bring all this up once more, we are over. he seems unable to communicate. he says that me questionning his feelings is insensitive. he is making me feel rubbish though - surely i should be able to talk to him about how im feeling?
i love him so much so all this is really hurting as my heart is telling me to stay with him and hoping he will change but my head is telling me otherwise
0
Comments
I don't think he will change, especially if it cant listen to your concerns and your feelings.
i agree with the last line of the previous post...i dont think he will change, especially if he cant listen to your concerns and feelings.
When me and my wife got married, she admitted it felt like she did not have to try anymore, we have sex once every 2 weeks or so, hardly groundbreaking stuff.
But you would be interested to know most married couples only have sex on average 5 time a year, that was found out in a survey, dont fall for what you read.
There is a reason 50% of marriages fail, simply put people dont care about the vows, it used to be if you were married you were off limits, that is simply not the case anymore, women and men dont give a crap if you are married.
but to your issue, I feel he is simply taking you for granted, you are a constant, and as such cant be bothered, you are there to get all his crap.
you can only be treated how you are happy to be treated, you simply have to tell him. sit him down. talk talk talk.
Its too easy to waste time with someone blatantly wrong for you just because youre trying to make it work.
Trying to make it work should be for otherwise great long term relationships, not every guy you hook up with who turns out to be a loser or totally incompatible.
Because from reading that, he just sounds like a dick.
Agreed.
Sounds like he isn't prepared to listen to you about anything - not a good place to be.
Communication is the key and this will guide you towards a better understanding of his behavior. If he shows no concern or no attempt to compromise or behave more appropriately, then you know things won't change.
It is hard to change a man and hoping you can after only 6 months is very hopeful. Off course you are hurting, you need some kind of closure and understanding and talking to him is step one.
Good luck