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I feel empty

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hello,
like my name says I'm just another man who wants the simple things. So I thought. but as I by myself sometimes, I realise I want nothing. And I mean absolutely nothing.

Now I'm only sixteen and I know that when I finish school I'll get a good job and probably a good life if everything goes well. But I don't want that, I don't want to do anything at all. All i want to do is to die, well not to die, but just not to live anymore. It feels like I'm finished, before I even got a chance to begin.

Now i dont want real advice on anything, i just want to know why i feel this way, and how i can focus my thoughts on living, instead of wondering why i live. 'cause that question has been in my head for months, maybe even years. And it starts to really tear me down.

but i'm not depressed or suicidal if all of the above makes you think that way. It's just that i don't see the point to all. i mean why shouldn't i just sit in the park on a bench and wait for it all being over? thats a qeustion i really really need an answer to.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you feel depressed? You sound like you have symptoms of depression.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well no not really depressed. i feel like i shouldn't do anything, because it has no use, and it has no reason anyway. in other words I wonder why i shouldn't just sit on a bench and wait for that last one breath
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey justanotherman,

    What you said reminds me a lot of how I felt a few years back. I didn't want to become or do anything and it worried me a lot that I was unable to be passionate about things.

    You might want to consider bringing this up to your GP, or if you have a good friend who would be willing to let you talk about how you feel. Perhaps even your parents?

    Are you doing something you would consider a hobby or interest? Any sports or something?

    You could also try spending some time to think about what you might be interested in doing in the future. Be it in regards of uni to go to, traveling, work, getting a dog or whatnot. If you identify some things that you could aim for, it could help change the way you feel.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was asking because a state of melancholy is often a symptom of depression. Have you talked to anybody about this, like your parents or somebody else close to you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well I can't really talk to anyone about it because i'm a joker. no-one (not even my parents) take me seriously (enough). because i always was joking. i kind found out (or at least assumed) that life IS a joke.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    life is how ever you presume it to be...

    i do understand how you feel, i felt similar about 5 years ago, and it was the start of depression but it was also the start of my creative career. Take up a hobbie that you do feel passionate about, no matter what it is, and maybe think about seeing it from a different perspective...

    its not empty, its a blank page, upon a blank page great things can be written
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    that's the whole point. sure i do have hobbies and all, but i mostly do it just for the hell of it, i mean just to kill time. altough i do really enjoy a nice game of darts but i'm far from good enough to a living out of it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is there nothing different to what you've done that interests you?
    Maybe you're stuck in a rut. I'm sure once you find something you enjoy those feeling you're having will pass.
    You're only 16 and this is only a temporary thing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well why not try soemthing new, something completly different from anything you've done before.

    But do find someone to talk to about it. People here are good to talk to, but it is important that you find a person that you can talk to face to face, because they are more likely to have more insights into your life and be able to give more advice.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its not that nothing interests me, in fact everything interests me, but nothing actually seems worth doing. and i know im just 16. but that makes me worry even more, all of my friends are just thinking about music, school, and girls. and i believe i should too. but i can't. and i've felt like this for a while now, but its only getting worse.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well, maybe setting yourself some goals would do you some good.

    it sounds as if you need some kind of validation that there is a reason for being...and trust me i know that feeling even if i don't fully understand how you feel.

    but really go seek outside help, whether it be from a GP or someone else, it sounds like you feel very isolated because you can't see someone else feeling like you do, and talking to someone on a one to one basis might help.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello,

    I kind of know how you feel - when i was about 14/15 i can't quite explain it it wasn't depression just a normal teenage feeling i guess. I kind of felt that i didn't fit in and no one really understood me and i wasn't sure why i was here or what i was doing. I was quite into "alternative" music and the whole scene but i didn't really know anyone else who was and when i met people who were i felt a bit like they were just no quite in the same place of life as me - like they had experienced it all before and i was on the outside looking in. I used to spend quite a lot of time wondering about what it would be like to take an overdose and weather anyone would notice,

    Anyway i had a very random chance meeting I met a boy who was just at the same stage in life as me and both of our lives changes forever - finally i'd met someone who hadn't done it all before and who i could begin to explore life with. I can't quite explain it - because it wasn't a romantic relationship and it wasn't like we were exclusively best friends for ever but for ages it felt like i'd been waiting for life to begin and now it had and its mostly been amazing.

    I think your feelings are entirely normal and something a lot of people feel especially between the ages of 13 to 17 and one day you will find your place in the world and honestly there is so much amazing stuff out there for you to discover it would be pointless to give up now....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have to say you quite hit the spot there. i do seek a reason for being. And i can't find someone to talk about it. Fact is: i think much, too much i suppose. I mean; i question everything, everyday, all the time. i always wonder why, and i'll be finding reasons, that might not even be true.

    and about seeking help, i have talked to my parents and a good friend. but they all just said: what kind of stupid question is that (literally!). And the one time i found a person who actually felt the same way (i was 15, he was 28) he turned out te be a schizofrenic, and is now a born again chritian. And i dont want to end up like that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi justanother - I've moved this thread over to health and deleted your other thread - since as you pointed it fits a bit better here.

    I've also added your paragraph and not feeling depressed or suicidal into the first post
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you considered doing some volunteering or getting into some campaigning as much as i loath giving kudos to the opposition but actionaid have some good campaigning things to get involved in..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    that really did quite help me, but i have a little problem (one thats not in my mind). you see, this is my exam year and i have to make a decision in what i am going to be doing soon, as in finding another type of education for my future job (just so you know i'm Dutch so our ed. system works entirely different so its hard to explain.). and as you may have noticed, i have no ambition at all, and i just plain suck at making decisions, i always tend to choose wrong (or so i think)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wyetry wrote: »
    Have you considered doing some volunteering or getting into some campaigning as much as i loath giving kudos to the opposition but actionaid have some good campaigning things to get involved in..

    well it might be a good idea volunteering. but volunteering in the UK will be quite hard, i'd have to take a 7 hour boat trip everyday just to get there (these kind of reactions are the reason why no-one takes me seriously back home anyway)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Plenty of virtual volunteering opportunities if the distance is a problem -

    http://www.thesite.org/workandstudy/volunteering/virtualvolunteering/browse
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well it might be a good idea volunteering. but volunteering in the UK will be quite hard, i'd have to take a 7 hour boat trip everyday just to get there (these kind of reactions are the reason why no-one takes me seriously back home anyway)

    I am sure if you give me about 10 mins i can find something similar in the Netherlands.

    I know what you mean about the having to decide now job thing - but unless you choose something really specific like bricklaying or maybe something very technical and scientific you can pretty much do what ever you want when you get out there in the real world. So you either have to choose the subjects you are good at or choose something your interested in.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wyetry wrote: »
    I am sure if you give me about 10 mins i can find something similar in the Netherlands.

    I know what you mean about the having to decide now job thing - but unless you choose something really specific like bricklaying or maybe something very technical and scientific you can pretty much do what ever you want when you get out there in the real world. So you either have to choose the subjects you are good at or choose something your interested in.

    well yeah but, like I said at start: I want nothing, there's no job that I'd like to do, I mean I'm interested in a lot but just never enough to make a job out of it. Now I dont want to sound negative, though I obviously do. but that's the way I feel, because its seems logical to me. it seems logical because I assume that nothing really matters, since I can't find a reason why it should. And I'm a person who needs a reason to do something. I really wish I didn't though...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    justanotherman, I would suggest that you get some face-to-face counselling with somebody, just to talk to someone and put your thought processes in order.

    It doesn't mean you are 'mentally unwell' or anything - but it does help to have a non-partisan 3rd party ask the RIGHT sort of questions to get some order out of the confusion that seems to be pervading your mind.

    What you are feeling probably happens to most of us at some stage - but it seems that you may have felt like this for some time. Its worth further discussion for your own peace of mind.

    Good luck! :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really should talk to therapist, shouldn't I?

    I really hoped it wouldn't come to this...Not that it's a big deal or anything, but i hoped to work it out on my own..
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