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Moving on
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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Starting a new relationship after a long term relationship can carry with it some difficult emotions and feelings from what went before. I don't think it's unusual to feel guilty or feel confused when starting to date again. That isn't me saying people should feel guilty or confused, just that it happens.
Our article on rebound relationships, other than having a title which does a bit of a disservice to the advice within, covers the way emotions from previous relationships can carry over into new dates, and it might be worth reading to see if any of it rings a bell.
http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/singles/onthepull/ontherebound
But I guess something that might help could be trying to understand what it is that's actually making you feel guilty? I'm assuming because you've brought up guilt that this is something that you're feeling.
Could be worth pondering over a coffee where the guilt is from and who it's directed towards. Do you feel guilty because you've done something that you feel you shouldn't have? Is it because you'd rather have been with your ex? Is it because you feel that even though the two of you had a good time you don't really want anything serious and think she may want something else? Just a few examples out of the many hundreds that could be going through your head, but I guess it boils down to - do you feel guilty about something that's going to affect you, your ex or who you pulled with - or any combination of that?
I think it's useful to think about not just because of the inevitable navel gazing that's going to follow dating again, but because understand what exactly your feeling should make it a lot easier to talk to her, or your ex or anyone else about what your feeling - and that can only help you make a decision about the situation that'll be best for everyone else?
One thing though - don't assume it's too soon just because you think it should be too soon. It's okay to be over a relationships just as much as its okay to still be dealing with issues from before.
Anyway, hope that isn't too much waffle, have a look at the article and see if it helps.