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Love - does it exist?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm sorry if this sounds really emo-ish and stupid but just wondering if anyone out there believes in/has found love? If so, did you always believe in it? How old were you when you 'found' love?
I'm only 19, and its not that I'm desperate for a relationship or desperate for love.. I'm just worried because although I've had relationships, I've never really felt in love and I'm worried I'm incapable of feeling it.
Sorry again if this is really stupid!
I'm only 19, and its not that I'm desperate for a relationship or desperate for love.. I'm just worried because although I've had relationships, I've never really felt in love and I'm worried I'm incapable of feeling it.
Sorry again if this is really stupid!
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But i'm soppy and can fall in love with just about anything - but especially cats in need of a good home - purrrr
Later on into my 20's I have been involved with various nice girls but never really felt love, they were just right people for the time and nothing serious, both them and me knew that. I think the sensible, rational, independant person in me never really alowed me to take my brain out and get too involved with someone maybe fearing it could all go wrong. Now in my 30's im with someone I think is gorgeous, fun, intelligent etc who I really fancy. We never have a crossed word and our lives fit into each others just fine. I think the world of her, need nobody else but I just don't know if I love her in the sense that I expect love to be or maybe its just made out to be. TBH Im very happy in our relationship and see no reason to change anything but it would be nice of some sort of love thing could creep up and hit me over the head so I can actually say it to her as its something im not going to say until I really mean it.
And I'd like to think we can all find it, but some of us are looking in the wrong places.
Do you mean that not everyone has it or not everyone knows they have it?
I think not everyone knows they have it. I think if you're looking for a fairytale happily ever after, never argue (not even about the dishes) and have simultaneous orgasms together then you're gonna be sorely disappointed. You have to work at love. No-one warns you about this though.
Don't worry that you haven't found love yet though. You're still young. It will happen
I mean not everyone has it and not everyone finds it - tbh i think some people just arent open to it. If you ARE open to it then its on;ly a matter of time
I think if someone has love, then theres no way they wouldnt know
'Love' and being 'in love' are just our attempts at rationalising our confusing feelings. In scientific terms I'd say there are biochemical and psychological explanations for love. I choose to go with whatever feels right, without believing that something is 'meant to be'.
I think life's too short to go chasing for an ideal you might never find - just take it as it comes, and you'll know when you're happy!
Second that. It's just the human mind trying to make meaning of such strong feelings. While it certainly feels good to be in love or to love someone, I think that (from an evolutionary perspective) these feelings have no other purpose than to help ensure the survival of the human race. While this might sound a bit deterministic to some, it doesn't have to be, because it's up to us to try to make the best of it beyond these feelings. I guess you can say that they are a push in the right direction, but the rest is up to us.
Bit like god really!
Love is a word that gets thrown around far too much. Funny how people can say.... 'I love my bf/gf but i've cheated on them'. I think far too many people believe in love out of necessity to avoid being alone!
Again, this is a word, 'love', being used to mean whatever someone wants it to mean. If you cheat, you're a dick, but it doesn't mean you don't love your partner just as much, if not more than many other people. Because no matter what anyone says, there is no fixed definition of love, so you have no way of knowing whether those people who cheat truly 'love' their partner or not. It's far too subjective to use words like that so freely to cover such a plethora of situations.
who cares? Rather fall in love with the right one, instead of falling for a lot of creeps.
I don't believe in romantic love, soul mates and all that jazz. I think that we are animals. At the same time, I think we do bond, sometimes quite beautifully and that we can choose to call that "love".
Awesome clip
My own opinion on "it" is that it most definitely exists and it lasts [or can last], but not always in the same form as it began. For instance, strong attraction and elation, that head-over-heels giddy love and all-consuming-fire-in-the-ole-loins lust may be a lot more common in the earlier stages, and contentment and companionship more characteristic of later stages. Sometimes, it's different for everyone. I do know it exists though, there's no greater proof than your own feelings, after all.
But yeah, I definitely agree that it's hard to find, and with SCC's sentiment that not all people are open to it. Maybe because it's such a double-edged sword, scary and exciting. It can happen. I like to think (and I do think) that it does happen for most people. For some people it can happen again and again and again. I've been in love more than once, I've loved and do love lots of people. I like to think that those differing feelings of love are just an indication of how crazy and wonderful and different love can be at different times and with a different dynamic... rather than meaning you didn't love before, or cheapening it at all. If that makes sense.
The caveat being that there are no guarantees and there's no surefire way of finding or keeping it. Good luck and patience and the willingness to take some chances are key in my view, but try not to lose your mind completely while you're at it. That can happen... the whole "losing of the mind" thing :razz:
I totally agree with briggi on this, but I like that too Namaste - it's my new sig.
Indeed - I'll PM her.
The problem here is the number of girls who've said "I love you" and I've had to say it back without meaning it given I'm sceptical it even exists...