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Relationship with teacher

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hello, i just going out with a teacher but i've left school. we are very much in love, couldnt help how we felt but we are anxious the school will react, will it affect to his job or what?
Is it legal for me to going out with him? I'm only 17 and hes 26, but the age is just the numbers!!

I really need the HELP! i dont know what to do, i really love him so much, but my parents, school, losing his job will affect us in big time!?

Everyone is getting know about us, at firstly i lost my great friend of our realtionship cos she think its really sick! So we havent spoke to each other for months, so she said shes sorry and she cant do nothing about it, now all of my friends are accept about our reationship but we want to tell school before they do. but is it worth it?

give me loads of the information would be very appreciation!!!
please! :confused:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your best off starting a new thread rather than adding onto such an old one.

    I'm sure someone who knows better will be along, but I *think* and it is only think that as long as the relationship started after you left school and he is in no way responsible for you or a teacher at a school you are still at then it's ok.

    That said, can't imagine the school will be too impressed and would probably prefer you kept a reasonably low profile.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well is it worth him losing his livelihood and potentially ruining his teaching career? I apologise if I sound harsh or curt, but I think you should bring this up with him. If it's around the school that you're dating him, then it's probable that the other teachers or even the headteacher might now about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think if youve left school it should be ok legally. That doesnt mean everyone will be happy about it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    when i was at college, apparently one the tutors at his old teaching post, got into a relationship when one of the students when she left, and he is still teaching, and still with her. so, who knows really. just be prepared that a lot of people's reactions may be quite harsh, because it quite a cliched relationship, and they may be suspicious that it started when you were at school. which is highly probable if you think about it, because you probably would not have met if it wasn't for the school.
    at least its good to hear that you are serious rather than it just being lust.
    you're old enough now to do what you want. just be careful. at your age, it may also be a sense of admiration rather than love.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There's nothing illegal about it. And as long as it didn't start while you were still at the school, it's none of the school's business, and it can't affect his job.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm with Stupid's post is correct - legally you are both consenting adults, and there is no longer the issue of an 'in loco parentus' relationship between you.

    What I would do is get your bloke to talk this over with his union representative (if he is in a union) and make sure he has support should he need to call on them. It should not affect his career but you can't be sure that some head teacher or colleague with a moral chip on their shoulder won't make life difficult.

    He should have nothing to fear but I would get him to talk it over with his union rep just so they are aware; they will also be able to advise with workplace issues and governance.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The law says that it is an offence for someone in a position of trust to have a sexual relationship with someone under the age of 18. Position of trust has normally been found to be teachers, college lecturers, doctors, youth club workers e.t.c.

    However, by no longer being at the school no offence is being comitted as the position of trust no longer exists.
    Others are right though, questions might be asked about when the relationship started.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Indy,

    Age is not "just numbers". There is a whole world of difference between your ages but this could go real bad for your teacher because he's a professional, and trust is primary in the eyes of his colleagues who would take a dim view of his conduct in dating one of his pupils. Also, you stand a big chance of ruining his career but if you weren't a student in the same college as he, then things might be different.

    For a while I would take a few steps back and lets things cool between you. Take a good hard look at where you could end up, and not his bed I mean but your whole future with friends and family and your chances of ever staying together.

    Poppi
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