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Wishing life would hurry up...or something
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Not sure is this is the right place for this. just needing to let off some thoughts about my life at the mo. basically im 22, in a long term relationship (high school sweethearts and all that bumf) and i feel my life has like, stalled.
i still live at home and its doing my head in. i cant move out as i have no job and wont have one for probably a year at the very least (graduated last year as a primary teacher but there are absolutely zero, less than zero jobs in teaching).
my bf is the same, hes in no position to move out, works a shitty call centre job but is in the process of applying for the police. hes 24 btw.
been with my other half for 6 years and im really gasping to move forward and get engaged, move in together and do all the nice things that happen when you grow up, but its not looking likely for a good few years. my bf and i talk about this all the time but he wants (sensibly) to be financially secure and settled and stuff before we get enagaged or whatever.
UGH. theres really no point to this. would be nice if anyone else is feeling the same or if anyone has any advice e.g. get a grip of yourself lassie
i still live at home and its doing my head in. i cant move out as i have no job and wont have one for probably a year at the very least (graduated last year as a primary teacher but there are absolutely zero, less than zero jobs in teaching).
my bf is the same, hes in no position to move out, works a shitty call centre job but is in the process of applying for the police. hes 24 btw.
been with my other half for 6 years and im really gasping to move forward and get engaged, move in together and do all the nice things that happen when you grow up, but its not looking likely for a good few years. my bf and i talk about this all the time but he wants (sensibly) to be financially secure and settled and stuff before we get enagaged or whatever.
UGH. theres really no point to this. would be nice if anyone else is feeling the same or if anyone has any advice e.g. get a grip of yourself lassie
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Comments
I had a very quick look and you could apply for something like this. OK so its not being a teacher in the standing up at the front of a class persea but it is still working with young people mentoring them and it would definately stand you in good stead for a future carrear as a teacher. I've only posted the first one i found but i'm sure there are others
That way you could get out of the house - have some excellent experience to put on your CV and be on the way to being able to move out. Also are you and he prepared to move to get a teaching job - if he doesn't like his current job that much anyway that could be another option. You never know jobs do come up part way through a year as well.
I can well understand your frustrations - you've got all these lovely things to look forward to, but they still seem so out of reach for you. I reckon there are some things you could start to think about perhaps- a few mentioned by Wyetry already, that may boost your spirits a bit.
It's great to hear your boyfriend is looking into joining the police - a really positive choice. However, bear in mind things may take a while (applications/training etc) and it would be really good for you to have some exciting and engaging things to be doing until the teaching job you'd really like turns up. There are lots of teaching related jobs listed in graduate prospects that you may find useful.
Also, on the relationship front, you could maybe start to think about where you might like to live if you could afford it now. Could you start listing the things you might need for a new place, working out costs, potential areas and perhaps a saving plan? That way when you do start a new job, you'll be able to get on with planning your move sooner rather than later.
As for the engagement - some people might like to get engaged even if it's a few years before marriage just because it feels really nice and special to them. If you're feeling like engagement is important to you, then maybe you could hint to your other half and suggest the idea of having an engagement party to acknowledge your on-going commitment to each other? It might be a fun small thing to plan that doesn't have to cost too much money.
Overall, it can be quite easy to imagine that the things to happen in the future are 'better' than what we've got now, but it's important to make the most of any situation while striving for goals and be able to look back and see how those times have shaped your future.
Good luck
As to your situation, I know completely how you're feeling. I'm 26 and acutely aware that I'm very long in the tooth for someone who's never had a full time job and I feel very directionless at the moment! I'm coming to the end of my PhD (and thus my studentship) and am on the look-out for jobs, but it all seems pretty depressing: there are virtually no research associate jobs in my field of History round where I am, I'm tied to London because of my boyfriend and so can't chase jobs in other areas of the country and any postdoc funding that's coming up is for Sept/Oct 2009 and is rediculously competitive so I have no idea whether I'll be able to stay in academia. I've also been looking out for other things, policy research etc, but there seems to be a lot less around than there was a couple of years ago. I could also apply for admin jobs, although I expect most of my applications would be laughed away and stamped with 'overqualified!'.
It's not all bad, I have got a part time job in a school that will continue next year, so I won't be unemployed, and we're about to move into our own flat soon (away from living with my OH's mum at long last!) but the shine is taken away somewhat by not knowing what on Earth I'll be doing job-wise. Also, everyone around us is getting married, which is making me kinda wistful, but I know I don't really want to get engaged until I'm finally on the career ladder, so I suppose it's all interlinked in my mind (although I've more or less given up trying to second-guess what my bf REALLY thinks on the whole marriage thing, so I'm not getting my hopes up too much). And then I feel really ungrateful for not being more contented about the flat, still wanting more, I guess I'm just waiting to feel like a 'proper' grown up with a 'proper' job and an 'official' relationship. Bah, what an idiot. I'm sure things will fall into place.
As they will for you
Be patient, it will all happen soon enough :yes:
i hear what you say about admin stuff. my bf's mum works in after-school childcare and she was speaking about maybe getting me some hours in her work so thats something.
thanks again guys, made me feel much better about stuff