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Long story

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Apologies for the long story;

I met a girl, Claire through a mutual friend, Sally, at university. Claire sometimes visits her friend at uni, but actually still lives in her hometown as a gap year student.

The first time Claire visited we ended up kissing at the end of the night. The second time she visited we ended up in bed together, which was great.

Anyway that was near the end of the final semester and since then I've texted her and spoken to her on the phone a few times. The more I've spoken to her the more I realise we don't actually have that much in common and she probably thinks the same. I think it was just mutual physical attraction.
We both realise that nothing is really going to happen relationship-wise but we should still be friends But it feels kind of odd because we've been close together.

I've asked her to visit me in my hometown, and at first she was enthusiatic but recently she's been making excuses which I can sympathise with.

Anyway, after a 2 week long trip with a few mates to the continent I got back home and rang my mutual friend Sally, and asked her how Claire was. She then told me that Claire had been seeing someone else for a while, even when I'd been calling her up and talking to her. It made sense as we'd felt increasingly distant and she'd been making excuses.

To be honest I don't feel really gutted as I've only seen her face to face for a total of 3 days, but I feel kind of disappointed that I probably won't be intimate with her again and also that she hasn't told me that she's been going out with this guy and making me feel guilty of going out and meeting girls.

What complicates the matter further is that the mutual friend, Sally, has a bit of thing for me. On the same day that she told me that Claire was seeing someone, she sent me a text "Hey was just wondering when would be a good time to come visit you". I'd made an off-hand offer for her to visit because I'd asked Claire to visit and it would have been awkward not to invite Sally too.
So I'm not even 100% sure what Sally is telling me is the truth.


So I'm thinking about ringing Claire and trying to get her to tell me herself if see is seeing someone. I obviously can't let her know that I know that she is seeiing someone because then Claire would realise that Sally had told me betraying her confidence. lol hope that makes sense.

Also I feel awkward about inviting Sally to visit as we will have to share a room and I don't know what my parents will be thinking! Also I don't feel we're close enough as friends for her to visit and she makes me feel a little awkward.

I feel kinda bummed out because instead of sharing a bed with a girl I find really sexy and attractive, and having a passionate night together, I'm gonna be sharing a room with her friend who I have absolutely no feelings for. Life eh? :rolleyes:

Anyway, any advice is much appreciated.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You've already said that things probably won't happen with Claire, and so I'd forget about that. If you WANT to call her and ask her if she is seeing somebody, do it - but personally, I wouldn't bother. It's not like you were deeply involved with each other and so it's not really going to accomplish anything.

    Sally. Well that's your call. Friends can be friends, and there's nothing wrong with sharing with a friend over not sharing with somebody that it's not going to happen with.

    To summarise, I don't think there is anything like a major issue to be dealt with here, you just need to move on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, you're right. Lol, in a purely selfish way I'm kinda bummed that she moved on from me so quickly. I've been thinking about her, whilst she's been seeing someone else. I guess I didn't mean as much to her as I thought I did.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I say go find someone else who wants you the same as you want them.
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