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Head's wrecked..:(
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi not really sure why Im posting this but think maybe the more i get it out the better ill feel. So at the end of March I met-and started going out with-what I Thought was this amazing bloke..funny,sweet,kind,thoughtful..and we spent loads of time together. About 3 weeks ago it all started going a bit wrong and he started having to go away for work a fair bit and just not taking time aside to spend with me and i was getting sick of it so i finished it. Ive been pretty down about the fact it all went wrong so fast cos thought we had something really good and didnt really understand what had happened,but it was 3 weeks ago so was just about getting over it. Then 4 days ago i got a message on facebook totally out of the blue from a girl saying shes his gf,shed just found out about me and him,and saying that basically hed obviously been cheating on her with me this whole time..she also said that he has a 2 yr old son by a whole different girl!! I know i wasnt with him for long but all this informations just totally messed me up..all the nice times we had,all the times he made me believe i was his girlfriend,were all a total lie!! I just feel so depressed about this and just dont know what to do..id just got over this finishing but the thing that got me through was 'ah well at least we had good times' and now i feel like i have to work at getting over it all over again cos not even the nice times we had together were real,and he was never even my boyfriend at all!! Feel like everythings turned all crazy and upside down 
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Regardless, at least you know the truth and it will help you to overcome what's happened - this person was obviously no good and its come as a shock. You need to look out for yourself, let yourself get upset about it, get some friends together to support you, treat yourself and generally look after yourself. It will become easier, and its easier to say now but it will get better. Just give yourself time to heal; regardless of what you now know, you shared good times and you weren't a fool - he was obviously a complete player and its not your fault for not discovering. At least you know now and not a year down the line, had you stayed with him.
Yeah the best way to try and think now, is forward. At least you found out now and it didn't get any further with you guys.
But if not, he's a bastard.
Because,sadly,it actually makes a lot of sense..he had been more distant and less easy to get hold of in the last few weeks and he used to stay at mine after work at the weekend but he just stopped doing that with little to no explanation,so makes perfect sense he was spending that time with another girl. Also me and this girl have actually talked back and forth about this quite a lot,trying to piece together the truth about it,and she sounds pretty devastated..shes also been really lovely and actually quite supportive to me,not blaming me for this situation in any way,so i have no reason to doubt the fact shes telling the truth. And yes,katralla,i have some problems kind of opening up and trusting people anywyay,so ,Think a lot of me feeling so bad is that i was just beginning to relax and trust him,then it all went wrong and now i know that all the time i was relaxed with him he was lying to me..felt like he was laughing inside at me just for trusting him..:(
He gives us all a bad name. I can tell you that all guys aren't like this...some of us are nice :wave:
Forget about this jerk, get out there, meet more people and have a laugh. If you meet someone, then great! If not, you'll find someone when you least expect it!
Keep your chin up. Just say...he was a jackass, he didn't deserve you, and it's his loss :yes: Smile and repeat!
Thanks..:) Youre quite right..total arse and he really isn't worth wasting too many thoughts on..thanks all you lot for your great advice/support too..has really helped pull me out of it!
Hi there
It really is a shame when I encounter guys like this who really think nothing of using girls and indeed by what you've said, getting them all pregnant with absolutely no regard for the consequences of their actions whatsoever.
It's very frustrating indeed and shows complete immaturity.
Sadly there is no easy way over this one but a bitter pill to swallow and that you will have to chalk this one up to experience. I'd like to be able to offer some good advice so as much as I can say is try to remain positive and get yourself back into doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Perhaps forget guys for a while and stick to friends and fun - perhaps a physical sport might help.
With regard to future contact with this guy the best thing, as long as you have your closure, which you seem to have, then blank him and move on with your life. I wouldn't delete his number as many seem to do and then forget that number, rather, put an "x" in front of his name, that way if he calls you, then you know not to answer should you so choose.
I cannot emphasize doing stuff for yourself enough as it's important you don't dwell on him.
All the best though.
A.