Home Sex & Relationships

Not sure who to talk to about guy things

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey guys

I am going through some issues mainly very minor lol like financial decisions which my mum refuses to help with because I'm a grown up etc. etc. and some bigger issues and really they're all the kind of things you'd speak to your dad about. But the problem is I don't have a dad anymore so not really got anyone to talk to about these problems.

One which was a bigger issue I posted on ask thesite and although the advice was sympathetic I got the idea that they didn't really understand what it was to be a 20 year old guy in my position. But the details aren't really relevent as the point of this thread is I am in this position where I have nobody to talk to like a father figure / mentor.

I emailed my older brother whose in god knows what country right now but he's pretty busy and I don't think he'll get back to me very quickly. Not because he doesn't care, just because he is busy!

I'm possibly not the only guy in this position, guys seem to be more closeted about their feelings and whenever I talk about mine I tend to talk to female friends but the same as a guy doesn't know what it's like to be 15 and scared you're pregnant, a girl doesn't *know* what it's like to be a 20 year old guy and going through.. issues.

I dunno where to go to talk though

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know I'm not a bloke, but you know I'm here for you don't you ? :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Curvy_lass wrote: »
    I know I'm not a bloke, but you know I'm here for you don't you ? :D

    Of course, did you not see where I mentioned:
    whenever I talk about mine I tend to talk to female friends

    :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you have any uncles/close friend's dads you could ask about stuff?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    try and cultivate guy friendships too
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    try and cultivate guy friendships too

    I've got some close male friends but we tend to talk bout stupid / funny stuff. There was one evening several years ago when me and this other guy who had lost his dad too stayed up until about 4am slightly drunk and just talking, he talked about how he felt he was a disappointment and stuff and it was nice.

    But usually when you see your mates you say hi and get a pint and have laughs at someones expense. My female friends tend to be a bit more... sensitive so you can talk to them about emotional issues. I mean they say testicular cancer is a really big issue for example because guys just don't open up normally and talk about 'serious' things. If a guy is going to I guess his dad would be the natural person to talk to about it.

    Some of the issues are less emotional and just 'direction in life plz'. Like, should I travel for a year or work for a year? You don't know what you've got til its gone, I guess.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I miss fatherly advice too. I think all you can do is make use of the resources that you do have like this messageboard and friends and family. Sometimes I try to second guess the kind of advice a father figure would give and speaking to people I can see nuances and gestures that a father figure might have said to me. I think anyone who cares about you will give you advice to the best of their ability. Hope this helps and doesn't just look like me blathering :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All fellas have a facade like that, acting macho and shit but I can garauntee you some of your mates will open up and be sensitive to your issues if you get a one to one with them. Just don't feel nervous to ask.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^^ What he said ^^
    All my mates have got the same mentality, its just a blokey thing to act all macho/jokey when they're in a group.
    My mates are the same in that i could have one to ones with pretty much all of them and have a serious conversation...could also bring up serious topics as part of a group sometimes and i would get decent help though, it depends on the subject and the timing.
    Give your mates a try is my advice..
Sign In or Register to comment.