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Breaking up and how to cope?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
At the weekend, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me on the grounds of "He doesn't love me as much as he should"

In all fairness, I felt like we needed a bit of space because we were together all the time and I wasn't really ever seeing my friends.

To be honest, at the minute my problem is that I'm struggling with how to cope and how to act around him. Ive seen him since and we've just gone somewhere as friends, but it hurts so much I wonder whether it would just be better not to see him at all?

We've had breaks in the past and always come back stronger but this time he says it's for real. I can't talk to my mum about it because she's going to Mexico at the end of the week and if I say that he won't be staying at home with my she's gunna be a bit funny about leaving me at home alone.

From people's experiences, should I just not stay in contact with him? Should I try and be friends and learn to accept that our relationship has changed forever?

Help...lol

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Simmyluvsu wrote: »
    From people's experiences, should I just not stay in contact with him?

    :yes:
    As hard as it'll be, in my experience I've found this is the only way to get over someone. In the future, once things have calmed down and you've both moved on perhaps you'll be able to be friends, but to try and do that now only leads to trouble, I've always found. You need time to adjust to being single, to living your life without him - which is impossible to do if you're still seeing him regularly as a "friend". It leads to your feelings becoming confused and I found I was sustaining hope that we'd get back together when I was spending time with my recent ex. It's difficult, but you've got to put some distance between you. Make time for yourself, see your friends as much as possible (my friends were an absolute godsend when I broke up with my boyfriend). Go out and have fun as much as you can but allow yourself to mourn the relationship and cry as much as you want/need to. It's the most horrid thing to go through but I promise you, you will come out the other side stronger. Take care of yourself and keep posting here if it helps, there are loads of people around who've gone through the same thing and will do all they can to help you :) Big hugs to you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks, that made a lot of sense :)

    My friends have been lovely today, a lot of support has been offered and lots of drunken nights out planned.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Simmyluvsu wrote: »
    At the weekend, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me on the grounds of "He doesn't love me as much as he should"

    In all fairness, I felt like we needed a bit of space because we were together all the time and I wasn't really ever seeing my friends.

    To be honest, at the minute my problem is that I'm struggling with how to cope and how to act around him. Ive seen him since and we've just gone somewhere as friends, but it hurts so much I wonder whether it would just be better not to see him at all?

    We've had breaks in the past and always come back stronger but this time he says it's for real. I can't talk to my mum about it because she's going to Mexico at the end of the week and if I say that he won't be staying at home with my she's gunna be a bit funny about leaving me at home alone.

    From people's experiences, should I just not stay in contact with him? Should I try and be friends and learn to accept that our relationship has changed forever?

    Help...lol

    If you want to get over him for good then my advice would be to cut all ties and scrap the idea of being friends with him. I know from experience that it rarely ever works, especially if there's still feelings involved and espeically if it's so soon after the break up.
    For getting over some one it really does just take time and space so avoid seeing him for as long as possible/ don't go where you think he might be etc.

    If you want to get back with him then that's a different thing altogether, then you'll still need a bit of space so he can work out what he really wants. Still keep in contact but don't over do it, if you speak make sure it's friendly and breezy. Make sure he knows you're out and about having fun.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you want to get back with him then that's a different thing altogether, then you'll still need a bit of space so he can work out what he really wants. Still keep in contact but don't over do it, if you speak make sure it's friendly and breezy. Make sure he knows you're out and about having fun.

    Somebody else said that to me. Normally we'd be texting all day from getting up to going to bed. But I'm just not going to text him unless he texts me first. We're meeting on Thursday night, so I'll leave it til then.

    My family are off on holiday at the end of the week so he knows I'm going out with mates loads and having girlie fun without him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For me,the hardest thing about breaking up (that youre often not prepared for) is the bit that comes next-youre going out,having fun and getting over him..but thats easy to do at the moment because you still feel connected to him in some way (ie he still knows what youre up to-your parents are going on holiday soon;maybe you still know roughly what hes up to too). I know everyones different but just to warn you,think the hardest bit comes when you start doing something new and he wont know what youre up to and vice versa. Just be prepared for getting over it to be an ongoing thing and don't forget its ok and normal for it to take a while.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think the hardest thing for me will be when he gets this covered.

    l_05d0cf6968aea923418fa7d135467648.jpg

    Then I know I have no chance.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Simmyluvsu wrote: »
    I think the hardest thing for me will be when he gets this covered.

    l_05d0cf6968aea923418fa7d135467648.jpg

    Then I know I have no chance.

    Wow - that is like the #1 thing never ever to do... I hope you didn't bother getting one with his name..?



    Also, that is going to be a nightmare (and very painful) to cover.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, I always said I never wanted a tattoo EVER! It runs right the way along his wrist so he'd have to get something pretty massive to cover it up :\

    I did try and talk him out of it lol "Why not get a little heart?"
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Simmyluvsu wrote: »
    No, I always said I never wanted a tattoo EVER! It runs right the way along his wrist so he'd have to get something pretty massive to cover it up :\

    I did try and talk him out of it lol "Why not get a little heart?"

    Boys are so silly sometimes, one of my best mates did the same thing just a bit further up on his arm and they broke up like two weeks later.
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