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so, i'm starting to get my head sussed out..

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
...relationship wise anyway...

i really had a good think about my previous relationship, and i suddenly thought, hang on, that had all the warning signs of it becoming not just more of an abusive relationship, but teetering towards domestic violence...
I seriously don't want to make the same mistakes that my mother made, and i'm glad to be out of it. But even just seeing him prevokes a horrible responce in me, and he harrasses me too, so i' very close to just telling him i don't want his the money he owe me back and that if he gets on my case any more then i'll slap a restraining order on him. I'm not sure £140 is worth all this hassle.

but moving on, i keep finding these really lovely guys, but they are either just breaking/broken up with someone, and/or much older than me (10 years older). I've really been thinking about what i want out of a relationship, and also what i have to give to another person (personal qualities and such rather than material possessions like last time), and i really want a companion, someone to get close to and share things with rather than anything else. I don't want to think in term of mr/miss right/now maybe more like mr/miss this seems to work well for us, lets see how it goes. I'm not actively looking and these guys seem to find me, which i suppose is a good thing, even though they seem to be unavailable, though there is a HUGE lack of women, i suppose its hard to assume that someone maybe gay/bi and jsut walk up to them and chat them up, purely due to the fact that a) women tend to take subtler aproches and b) i guess you could get very embarressed if you get it wrong.

but still, i would like someone, but i suppose a positive thing, is that i'm not feeling like i need someone in my life, because that seems to attract freaks!

anyway, i live with a smile on the inside, sometimes, if not the outside.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Living with the feeling that you need someone is bad news. I'm like that right now and it only serves to make you feel incomplete as a person, which really isn't true.

    I'd tell your ex to leave you alone and threaten the restraining order if I were you, as long as you have the grounds for it and you aren't desperate for money.

    personally I don't think age is too much of an issue. I go for guys 10-20 years older than me (I know, it's bad isn't it!) but it's not something I can help and I relate to people older than me a hell of a lot better. If you and they have no problem with the age gap then I say there shouldn't be a problem :)

    Be careful with guys who are breaking/just broken up, as the last thing you want to be is a rebound for them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have noticed though, with my confidence i really aspired to be like my friend Gina who is flirtacious and sexy and always in control...but i suddenly realised i only see her when i'm out...and she takes coke (this is what i've heard), and she finds (or did find before she got with her current beau) getting with guys for one night stands so easy and she finds them really satisfying....but i find them really hard to deal with and guys seem to mess me around when i do have them....

    so....i still need to get some confidence back and i could really do with a good boost....but i'm going out this weekend with mates so maybe that will help...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Like I said before - have time to yourself, don't even think about having a companion or anything yet. It will happen when it does, don't contemplate things and they'll fall into place.
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