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My life is ruined.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hi I'm Frank.
Throughout my whole life i have treated people wrongly. I am a compulsive liar and I cant stop doing it. When I drink I do the most stupid and selfish things possible. Lately there is a rumour about me going around my local town. The rumour is true but i cant face even leaving my house because of it. I've closed all contact with my "friends" and now have resorted to sitting in my house after work and all the weekend. I am getting extreme Paranoia every time I leave my house because i cant bear to hear peoples comments and laughing at the rumour going around town about me. How am i supposed to deal with this. For the rest of my life I can honestly see myself sitting here, I'm half suicidal at the moment i really don't know where to turn.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont see how you can say its a rumour if its true.

    You do need to go out, try and go somewhere away for the day, or do some things with people/friends who wont know.

    How bad is the rumour/truth anyway?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont see how you can still go to work if things are so bad.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had a small intimate moment with a male when i was disgustingly drunk and everyone found out about it. I am not gay i know this 110 percent. Just a very stupid moment i will never live down for the rest of my life. My local Town is so small its only a matter of time before my parents and brother find out about it. not to mention my employer etc. im so depressed over this i honestly cant deal with it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Things are always worse in your head than in real life.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    Things are always worse in your head than in real life.
    really like this answer, will help me in my life as wel.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Frankthesheep wrote: »
    I had a small intimate moment with a male when i was disgustingly drunk and everyone found out about it. I am not gay i know this 110 percent. Just a very stupid moment i will never live down for the rest of my life. My local Town is so small its only a matter of time before my parents and brother find out about it. not to mention my employer etc. im so depressed over this i honestly cant deal with it.

    If you get sacked over it, you will have hit the jackpot with an employment tribunal.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    last resort: move far away, leave no footprints, change your attitude.

    /e: After reading what happened I don't think it's half as bad as you make it out to be. Who fucking cares? If your mum asks, say you were drunk as shit and that you're 110% not gay. If not, let her think whatever.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you sure it is or it'll be as bad as you think. What lipsy said is very right.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    Things are always worse in your head than in real life.

    I totally agree with the above quote.

    People always do something stupid when drunk and someone else will do something stupid and you'll be old news
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sure the rumours and gossip feels very real to you right now but just have a think about some times when you heard a bit of gossip. When I hear gossip it might amuse me for a second or two but then I don't give it a second thought, unless perhaps prompted. Remember these people who may or may not have been talking about you have lives that they have to get on with and their own worries too. Even though it feels like everyone's looking and talking, most of them aren't, they've already forgotten, those who might have a gossip and glance will forget and get on with their own lives as quickly as you have forgotten the last bit of gossip you heard and are busy worrying about your own life.

    I hope you feel better soon. You do not need to move or hide, or even feel embarrassed. Face the town, face the world and you'll realise you can take it on and win.

    good luck
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Frankthesheep wrote: »
    My local Town is so small its only a matter of time before my parents and brother find out about it. not to mention my employer etc. im so depressed over this i honestly cant deal with it.

    How did they find this out anyway? Did you - or the other guy - tell someone? And if he did, wouldn't he be in the same position as you?

    These days, a drunken indiscretion with someone of the same sex, should be no big deal. I am presuming that you may be from some small US town? Regretably, it may be the case that their narrow-mindedness may be as great as yours.

    I mean, for goodness sake, in the great big scheme of things, how bad can it be??? If you are indeed selfish and a compulsive liar, they probably hate you anyway. Perhaps it is time to pull up sticks and move where you can make a new start in your personal life (i.e. stop lying and being selfish).

    You're contemplating suicide? Over this? My words may seem unsympathetic and harsh but you gotta keep it real. It's not like you have robbed, raped and murdered anyone. I presume.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Usually I'd say laugh it off, but if there's other issues then it's not going to be as easy as that.

    Try and get some help with the compulsive lying and take it from there. Speaking to somebody professional about it would do you the world of good and give you a better perspective.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i've been in a similar situation

    what i did was just laugh and say that i know, and that i was drunk and it soon died down

    obv. situation may be different but thats probs the quickest way to get this forgotten if anyone brings it up
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