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Psycho Ex!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Okay, so I was seeing this bloke back in November, But that all stopped after only 2 months.

In recent months I've met up with him a few times and spent the night with him.

He has a one year old daughter with his ex girlfriend. & Last week he rang me upset because she wouldn't let him see her. We ended up staying at his brothers flat that night and all was good.

Then the next morning, his ex came round with his daughter. & would only let him see her if I left so he told me to step out for a bit and that he'd meet me when they'd left.

The problem is this girl is known for getting in fights and stuff and I'm just hoping that she won't start on me!! :no: :blush:
They haven't been together for ages and she doesn't want him, she just doesn't want him to be with anyone else. The last person he was with, ended because she wouldn't let him see his daughter anymore.

Anyways I just thought I'd share!!
Maybe, something like this has happened to anyone else...??

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    TashJTashJ Posts: 79 Budding Regular
    Hi there,

    This sounds like a really difficult situation, and unfortunately one that's probably not going to be resolved without both the guy and his ex being willing to be negotiate a solution.

    It's totally understandable that this guy wants to spend time with his child, and would get upset if he doesn't see her. However, as the child seems to be living with her mother - the ex - how much he gets to see the child is probably largely dependent on his relationship with the ex. Therefore, even if it seems like the mother's being totally unreasonable, it might be worth him having a conversation with her about when he can see his daughter. Are there certain days or times of the day which would be better?

    Break-ups can also, in many cases, lead to a loss of trust. This guy might be the most trust-worthy person in the world, but he may still need to rebuild the relationship with his ex to the point where he's trusted with the child. This might mean that, during their visits, she wants the child to only have contact with her dad at first rather than any of his friends or other important people in his life.

    It sounds like this is incredibly frustrating - you know that his ex doesn't want him, but at the same time she doesn't want him to see anything else. Again, unfortunately, all you can do is try and prove you're responsible and trustworthy (and perhaps this will mean seeing the guy at a different time to when he sees his daughter for a while), and try and break down her barriers.

    If things don't get better though, there might be some difficult decisions to make. Do you think he'll be able to eventually tell his ex that you're a part of his life, and that he would like to have both a relationship and a child? If not, I guess it might be a case of you having a think about how long you're willing to put up with the situation.

    I know there's a diary on TheSite.org which is written by a teenage dad who is separated from the child's mother, but perhaps some of our other users might be able to share their experiences as well...

    Hope it all works out for you,
    Tash
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Althought he mother has no rights over her ex's new relationships, I can see where she's coming from. If she feels how I do, she probably doesn't want lots of different people in and out in parental roles or confusing instable positions so would rather the child just have a relationship with the ex alone or with a stable/long-term partner. Do you intend to stick around and even want a relationship with the child or are you happy with a more casual thing with him? Either way you need to have a quick work with him to see how that's going to fit around his parenting.
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