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Problems with the girlfriend
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Last week I made a thread here about getting my baby to live with me but I have since gotten new problems and thought I'd make a post here as it's not really a lawful matter.
I had to sign up again, I forgot my password!
My girlfriend is pregnant and most of the time she will eat junk food, though she does try and eat healthy food, she still smokes and drinks and eats to much junk food and she has moved in with her mother and the place is like a pig sty, I mean it is utter filth and her brothers just have all their mates round to get stoned while playing the computer, the whole place reeks of shit and weed and you can't talk without gobbling a hair ball.
I have told her to stay at our house and I will go to my mums but she says she wants to be at home with her mum and dad. I don't like her lifestyle but my hands are tied.
The other thing is that she has missed another appointment with the psychiatrist and I think she could really do with seeing someone but she doesn't like me talking about it. She is also hinting at getting rid of the baby because she doesn't want to be a single mother even though I have told her I will look after the baby once I find a new place but it just doesn't seem to register with her. I also said we could stay together and if things get to much for her she can go stay with her family for a few days until she is ready to help out again but she just says "yeahhhhh".
It's like she doesn't want me to have the baby and she doesn't want it either because then if she has another child she has to be responsible.
:banghead:
I had to sign up again, I forgot my password!
My girlfriend is pregnant and most of the time she will eat junk food, though she does try and eat healthy food, she still smokes and drinks and eats to much junk food and she has moved in with her mother and the place is like a pig sty, I mean it is utter filth and her brothers just have all their mates round to get stoned while playing the computer, the whole place reeks of shit and weed and you can't talk without gobbling a hair ball.
I have told her to stay at our house and I will go to my mums but she says she wants to be at home with her mum and dad. I don't like her lifestyle but my hands are tied.
The other thing is that she has missed another appointment with the psychiatrist and I think she could really do with seeing someone but she doesn't like me talking about it. She is also hinting at getting rid of the baby because she doesn't want to be a single mother even though I have told her I will look after the baby once I find a new place but it just doesn't seem to register with her. I also said we could stay together and if things get to much for her she can go stay with her family for a few days until she is ready to help out again but she just says "yeahhhhh".
It's like she doesn't want me to have the baby and she doesn't want it either because then if she has another child she has to be responsible.
:banghead:
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Comments
The child's mother wants to put the baby up for adoption
Mothers can't give up the child for adoption until six weeks after its birth;
Whether or not you are married to the mother you have automatic rights to be at the hearing;
You no longer need a parental responsibility order to object to the adoption, as long as you and the mother register the birth of your baby together;
You will be asked to give your consent for the adoption to go ahead, however, if you cannot be found then your consent is not needed;
If you do not consent the court has the power to override this refusal and still make an adoption order.
BUT, if she is deciding to keep the baby, she should do so in a responsible manner, if she decides to terminate then fair enough, but I think it's irresponsible to umm and ahh about having a baby whilst living an unhealthy lifestyle. Like say if she was adopting for example and wasn't sure if she would keep it (bizarre example but think abstractly here) she wouldn't neglect the childs needs until she had made up her mind that she 'really' wanted it would she?
I don't know what psychiatric problems she has but she doesn't seem like she's in a good place all round and I don't know what to suggest really. Are you intending to carry on this relationship? Just the way it reads it almost sounds like you've agreed to seperate? If so you need to forget the relationship bit and work on the baby bit. And really she needs to decide one way or the other whether she wants this baby or not.
If she does want it (although I guess it's easy for anyone whose not the mother to say this) I think she should look after herself since her health is so closely linked to the babies, and I think most mothers would agree with that. But if she doesn't I don't think she should have to keep it for anyones sake.
My advice really would be to try to get through to her, which I acknowledge may be difficult. Especially if she has other issues where she may be struggling to cope with responsibility for herself let alone another person, she could feasibly be struggling to come to terms with the pregnancy.
I dunno what to do, I guess you could look in the phonebook for a mothers support network, motherhood and pregnancy I would guess is one of those things you really need someone who has been through it before to talk about it, and she may be able to think a bit more clearly rather than being in her house without much order going on, her brother who probably doesn't know what its like being pregnant either