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Do most men prefer women to make the first move?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I was just wondering this, because I never know where I am with a guy (when I'm not going out with him) !
Seriously, I don't know if its the same for you guys but one minute guys seem interested and then the next minute they're chatting up this other girl. Do most girls mistake friendly male behaviour for a flirting attitude, or is it the other way round, with men mistaking friendly females for flirty females?
Please don't tell me "the top ten signs he fancies you" or whatever, I've looked up them and some of them are true and some are not, then again it depends on the person I suppose.
So... back to the actual point, are men shy when it comes to relationships? And what do they look for in a girl - looks or personality? Intelligence or ditziness? I know it might vary but can you generalize please? And my final point, what do men want out of a relationship (apart from sex) and what do they expect girls to do/ how do they expect to be treated?
Seriously, I don't know if its the same for you guys but one minute guys seem interested and then the next minute they're chatting up this other girl. Do most girls mistake friendly male behaviour for a flirting attitude, or is it the other way round, with men mistaking friendly females for flirty females?
Please don't tell me "the top ten signs he fancies you" or whatever, I've looked up them and some of them are true and some are not, then again it depends on the person I suppose.
So... back to the actual point, are men shy when it comes to relationships? And what do they look for in a girl - looks or personality? Intelligence or ditziness? I know it might vary but can you generalize please? And my final point, what do men want out of a relationship (apart from sex) and what do they expect girls to do/ how do they expect to be treated?
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Both. You get with someone based on looks, you stay with them based on personality. Generally speaking, anyway. But personality is too subjective. There's no such thing as a good personality, just like there's no such thing as a "good sense of humour." There's only compatible personalities or SOHs. Everyone thinks their sense of humour is great, it's just a case of finding someone who shares it. Personally, I like girly girls, whereas a lot of blokes are far more interested in a girl who is a bit more down to earth. But as a general rule, I'd say just like women aren't attracted to feminine men, men aren't attracted to masculine women. So downing pints and belching the alphabet isn't likely to attract a lot of potential boyfriends.
Both. They're not mutually exclusive. The first is more important, but I love ditzy girls personally.
Same things girls want, essentially. I think both sexes want to feel important and loved every now and again, it's just that we show it in different ways. I'd say for men, the ability to make a girl laugh is important, as is feeling intelligent, athletic, etc (delete as applicable, based on what your bloke happens to be good at).
/edit: About the chatting you up and talking to another girl some time later.
Well, if you we have certain expectations and they are not met (e.g. you are dumb, silly, arrogant, looked better across the club, boring, you seem bit disinterested, or it's just not leading anywhere), then we just look for our fortune elsewhere. Don't think this applies just to men, however.
Well, I think part of it is that we are raised to expect the guy to always have to make the move. I have had one real relationship in my life only to find if I had acted earlier on a few girls, it would have been clear sailing.
i know it might not be a common viewpoint, but hope it helps.
Yeah, that's the thing about expectations. They usually disappoint. If I was a girl, I wouldn't wait for someone to follow any of those rules and sit on needles until they do. If I want a girl, I act on it. If a girl wants me and doesn't do anything: her loss.
And yeah, genuinity in guys? How -can- you tell?
But to answer your questions. Of course looks are important as thats the first thing you notice isn't it. But personality is the key. I like someone who can make me laugh, can actually talk to and just yanno .. feel comfortable around, like when there's a silence it isn't awkward kinda thing. Thats what i like and tend to look for. Looks wise .. whatever, blonde, brunette, GINGER, alien whatever.
you can't unfortunately, not until you really know them.
You just have to have trust there and if you get hurt, you get hurt.
I know thats easy for me to say, but I have been hurt hundreds of times and you may say I should have learnt my lesson, but you wouldnt get anywhere if you didnt give people a chance.
But it's not as if it's a rational decision anyway. I just happen to connect with girls with particular personality traits and find them the easiest to flirt with and the most fun to be around. Probably the fact that they're easy to tease means that it's easy to get a bit of a rapport going with them. Just some observations of girls I've liked in the past.
Oh, and I'm probably not as smart as you think I am.
And I know ditziness can go with intelligence, I've met tons of intelligent women that as soon as a bloke comes into the scene they switch into ditzy, air-headed mode. If I were I bloke I would find their attitude extremely boring, but obviously guys don't since it works to get their attention (which is the puzzling bit for me). Anyway, it goes to prove they're actually very smart ladies, since they know exactly what to do to get what they want .
I do too, i find it really cute and genuine quality. It seems to set off protective instincts in me, like i want to cuddle the ditzy thing.
It has nothing to do with intelligence, it's just just a nice quality that they are relaxed and a bit silly sometimes.