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should i ask her out yet ?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
so heres my quandrum, I finally moved back to the UK 8 months ago after being in italy for 15 years

so I finally found a club to join specificly 18 - 30 year olds so just me cup of tea to meet people make friends and hopefully a special person.

well as i already knew clubs (not night clubs) are going out of fashion and infact we are the grand total of seven infact less as a few are now over 30 as far as I know there are the grand total of 2 girls in this club (a 3rd is the "retiring" chairwoman at 30), one has just married another member of the club so theres just one single (well I presume) girl we have never really had much chance to talk but I wouldn't mind asking her out or well just suggesting we go for a drink together, I just don't want to come across as "in a hurry" as we practically don't know one another and we meet regularily so I'll see more of her. ok I know i should just ask her not much to loose.

I don't know if its worth paying attention too but she laughed her head off at my description of how my then (as of 1 month ago) work place was run not that i was being particularily humorus about it, and the next week she made a point of asking me if more boxes had arrived (I was laid off due to lack of boxes - so they said) I said I had a new job and she was like "oh and i made a point of remembering to ask you". I was actually thinking of asking her out last week but well after managing to put on a pair of odd socks and not be that good at the "name game" culminating in my only reference to micheal jackson being that he is a pedophile and not sure if he's black or white (still don't knbow lol) I thought it best not to although I had the perfect oportunity

oh dear oh dear well I think next time I'll ask her heck can't loose much... sorry for the mumble jumble

I don't even know where to take her as I've not been around here long, I'm not sure if anyone (me) that chooses to not have a TV is too weird ? hence me being useless at the name game hec I only know the name of one footballer: bekerman because you get to hear about him one way or another anyhow


  • TashJTashJ ********* Posts: 79
    Hi Simon,

    If she's remembering details of things you mentioned last time you met, this may be a good sign that she's wanting to get to know you better. There are plenty of people who don't have TVs, so I don't think that makes you weird - and I'm sure living in Italy for 15 years gives you plenty to talk about. Also, if you're stuck for something to say, a tried-and-true method is to ask her questions, preferably ones that can't be answered with just a yes or a no. There's more tips on TheSite.org's The First Conversation article - even though it isn't your first conversation with her, it might be helpful.

    You've said that you're thinking about asking her out, and I think you're right here in that you 'can't loose much' by doing so - especially if you approach it as a chance to get to know her better.

    As to where to go, the possibilities are endless. You probably don't want to do anything too intense at this stage, but has she mentioned a movie that she'd like to see? Is she interested in live music or theatre? TheSite.org's got a few suggestions in an article called Old Fashioned Dates. You also might like to check out the piece on First Date Conversations on the BBC site.

    Good luck with it all!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, ask her out. Nothing to lose, a hell of a lot potentially to gain.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks tash thing is I've nothing great to say for italy frankly but i suppose theres things about the diferent way of life to talk about, thing is I've talked to her twice for merely a minute or two the first time we just met the second we were in a bingo place and the music was so loud that we couldn't here one another, I only see her at the club so am waiting for the next occasion I catch her alone, at least I can mention it would give us a chance to have a conversation, she's hardly aware I have lived in another country for 15 years but like you guys say I have nothing to loose
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