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Am I being used?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
A few months ago I ended a 3 year relationship after my ex cheated on me. I've now moved on and recently started a new job. I've met a new girl there, and despite some friends advising me not to get involved with collegues, i've been seeing her for 2 months now.

It's got to the point where things are getting more serious between us, and seem to be getting closer. A few days ago out of the blue she told me she thinks i'm sneaky and couldn't trust me. I find it hard believe this, as i don't do anything to make her feel this way.

The other day she left herself logged onto her social network site on my computer, and before i realised it i was clicking onto her inbox, not mine. I know i know i shouldn't have gone any further, but curiosity got the better of me and i clicked into her messages. Being the attractive girl she is, she unsuprisingly has a lot of 'male friends'. Some of them have asked who i am as they've seen me in pictures, but shes shrugged me off telling them 'i'm single, i just like sex so i need someone around' or 'oh its someone from work i've had a few kisses with but nothing else is going on now'. She's also had messages from someone she met in town and is apparently her friend. She mentions arranging to 'bump into each other' so they can go out for a bit. She also is extremely flirty and often has inappropriate conversations with the guys at work which i think is pretty disrespectful, especially when i'm around.

Just want some opinions really. Am I being used just for sex? (She does have a v high sex drive - does it give her some assurance she will reguarly get some by being with me? Or is she just saying things like that to ensure she still gets the male attention she always does? Is she telling me she doesn't trust me because she's judging by her own character?

And where do i go from here? It's clear i'm angry and upset with her when at work, but can't tell her i've read her messages. Try to forget it and move on? End it, but how could i explain this? I've got real feelings for this girl, but i feel used, and don't want to be a mug.

What do u think?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dump her. Save some face and dump her, before she dumps you, maybe in the same disrespecting manner she's talking about you. Just tell her, sorry, you don't see this relationship going anywhere. You can even use the "you are sneaky, and can't be trusted" bit as a front, saying, you don't want to be with someone who doesn't trust you, etc.

    You haven't been a mug for sticking with her, where should you have known? you'd be a mug if you stay in this relationship now, however, and just count the days until she's dumping or cheating on you just like an octogenarian counting the days until death puts him out of his misery.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm afraid i agree with Strubbles - get rid of her.

    If she hasn't got the decency to admit she is even seeing someone, she isn't worth it. (i'm assuming you two are 'together' and are not just casual??)

    Fair enough, she might have a high sex drive, but if you two are together, then that should be enough, she has something for pleasure :hyper:

    You should ask her what has made her think she cannot trust you, cos if it's all the flirting/being inappropriate with colleagues, tell her to check herself out first!:shocking:

    I know it probably isn't what you wanna hear though mate. sorry.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds possible - but why not just go with it? Whatever you do, don't start acting insecure or worried. The more you appear clingy, the less she will like you. Just enjoy shagging her, and she might come to like the idea of something more without being pushed into it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Some one can argue that if she has a habit of getting attention (as u told) she may be just making up things on social networking just to do that but as u said she has also said to u that "i'm sneaky and couldn't trust me" and then this social networking site thing then i am pretty sure u should leave her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Some one can argue that if she has a habit of getting attention (as u told) she may be just making up things on social networking

    Maybe that's just old fashioned me, but I wouldn't trust and want to be with a girl who makes things up for her attention and just call me "a little thing on the side".

    yea, of course you can stay and enjoy the sex, but you can also stay and really fall in love with this girl until it becomes a hate love, because you know you can't trust her and try to sneaky read her messages and txts to come to the conclusion that you have been right all long! Dude, just don't get another "That whore cheated on me"-thread a few months down the line.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Am I being used?

    Yes...

    The question is... do you mind?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds to mee she want's the best from both worlds (safety from a relationship and the freedom of being single) and that she's "keeping you on the carpet".
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fcuk her senseless, and then dump her when you leave the house ...

    She said she just wanted the sex, so she got it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teagan wrote: »
    Fcuk her senseless, and then dump her when you leave the house ...

    She said she just wanted the sex, so she got it.


    Haha, playa ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teagan wrote: »
    Fcuk her senseless, and then dump her when you leave the house ...

    She said she just wanted the sex, so she got it.

    I'll keep that quote in case anyone in the future tells me that gays are oh so sensitive, awwww. :p

    Can't say I disagree tho ;)

    Do the deed, wipe at the curtains, ask if her mother is currently seeing someone and then leave like a champ.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Do the deed, wipe at the curtains, ask if her mother is currently seeing someone and then leave like a champ.


    Fantastic!

    The balls in your court matey, now you know how she feels its your choice whether you want to continue and have regular sex and nothing much elses. If you are looking for something more meaningful then forget it as this doesnt have the signs of a lasting relationship.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well all i can say is, if you are happy having someone walk all over you, carry on with this 'relationship' however i doubt this is what you want. i think alot of your questions you have answered yourself. you are doubting her now and maybe your curiosity did you a favour.
    Before she fucks around with your emotions even more, save yourself. she is not worth it. nobody is when all they want is sex.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fuck her.. and leave her she sounds like an attention seeker who just wants men wanting her ... sounds like a good shag but not fall in love material..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^^^ What she said.

    Wipe it on the curtains then ask her mother. lmfao. You sound like my kind of mate. Pint? :thumb:
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