Home Sex & Relationships
At The Mix, we want to make our services as helpful as we can. To do this, we’d love to ask you a few questions about you, your visit to The Mix and its impact. It should take only about 5-10 minutes to complete. Take this survey and get a chance at winning a £200 Amazon voucher​.
Come and join our Support Circle, every Tuesday, 8 - 9:30pm! Sign up here

I'm being selfish

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, you are being selfish but you have your reasons.

    You are pleased for her, that is clearly see-able but you had it all figured out in your head. You had mapped the future out for the two of you, together - and no doubt let your head run away with itself and now she has her uni place; your plans have gone into a shambles. Thats usually what happens when you let yourself get excited about something and it fucking sucks. BUT (im sure you already do) need to realise that uni must be what she wants to do and she will also be there for you, and you need to be there for her.

    I remember when my friend moved schools in year ten at high school and I didn't talk to her. I was mad, upset and scared of her leaving me although it was her who was moving schools and doing the scary thing - I was just the one who was stuck behind carrying on without her. Selfish of me - but you can't help yourself when someone is so close to you.

    Only time will show that it'll be alright, but in the meantime, from your mates perspective you need to put on a happy face and go out for celebration of her getting her place. TRY and be happy for her; even if you aren't.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    Hi Kate,
    It's quite a lot to take in isn't it! As Ashlee says, it does really suck when you're separated from such a close friend. I think many of us can identify with your situation...Even when I just went to a new local college and my best friend stayed at sixth form we missed each other like crazy! But, over time we realised it wasn't the end of our friendship - just a new phase for us and we had to make a new kind of effort to stay close. Later I went to uni without her and we're still good friends nearly ten years later. One of the main things is that you shouldn't be afraid to get close to new people and explore new friendships in her absence - but as Ashlee says - still be there for your friend who is going away and think of the fun you will have visiting her at uni :)

    TheSite's article - will I lose my mate - also has some useful advice on the subject.

    Take care :)
Sign In or Register to comment.