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Confused: I Don't Understand what He Wants

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Following on from my most recent thread...

I met this guy, and we had the most fantastic weekend together. Granted, it was probably a bit manic - we basically crammed dates one, two and three into the space of 48 hours - but I left with the impression it went well.

The first 24 hours were wonderful. The nerves went as soon as he caught my eye... we went back to his place, he cooked, we drank (a sensible amount of) wine, the conversation flowed easily and the guy couldn't seem to stop smiling at me. He made the first move to kiss me, we fell asleep talking and that was that.

But following the second night with him, things seemed to change. I don't know why, maybe I'm just being paranoid as I haven't been in this situation for a while, but... it was weird. For one thing, he wouldn't leave his laptop alone. Seemed to think we'd have more fun watching stupid videos on YouTube than we would getting to know each other a bit better. The physical contact was still there, but emotionally I got the impression that he was starting to become a bit distant.

Since I've come back home, the texts and phone calls have become less frequent. Granted, maybe that's natural now that the initial meeting is out of the way and we're more clued up on each other, but I cannot help but feel that he's perhaps not being honest with me. I did tell him before I got on the train back home that I wasn't one to play games, and if he was just telling me he enjoyed the weekend to be polite, then I'd rather hear about it now. But he still maintains that he really likes me, wants to see me again and we have another visit planned for a couple of weeks time.

I just can't help but wonder if perhaps he's not as into me as he's letting on. Is it normal for a person to grow slightly cold this quickly? Perhaps I'm reading too much into things, but it's my gut instinct that this may not be going anywhere and part of me wants to run away from it now, before I get in deeper, while the other part of me still wants to give it a chance because I really do like this guy.

Any thoughts?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, at least you didn't have sex with him.

    It does rather sound like he may have lost interest. If he was interested, he would have made more of an effort. With his possible inability to be upfront and say that your relationship is going nowhere, I would be very cautious, if I were you. I think that you will find he will let you down in some way - forcing YOU to ditch him.

    And the fact that he doesn't fancy you, isn't YOUR fault. It's just the way it is.

    But give it a try for a bit longer - perhaps he has had things on his mind. But be cautious. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bohemian wrote: »
    Following on from my most recent thread...

    I met this guy, and we had the most fantastic weekend together. Granted, it was probably a bit manic - we basically crammed dates one, two and three into the space of 48 hours - but I left with the impression it went well.

    The first 24 hours were wonderful. The nerves went as soon as he caught my eye... we went back to his place, he cooked, we drank (a sensible amount of) wine, the conversation flowed easily and the guy couldn't seem to stop smiling at me. He made the first move to kiss me, we fell asleep talking and that was that.

    But following the second night with him, things seemed to change. I don't know why, maybe I'm just being paranoid as I haven't been in this situation for a while, but... it was weird. For one thing, he wouldn't leave his laptop alone. Seemed to think we'd have more fun watching stupid videos on YouTube than we would getting to know each other a bit better. The physical contact was still there, but emotionally I got the impression that he was starting to become a bit distant.

    Since I've come back home, the texts and phone calls have become less frequent. Granted, maybe that's natural now that the initial meeting is out of the way and we're more clued up on each other, but I cannot help but feel that he's perhaps not being honest with me. I did tell him before I got on the train back home that I wasn't one to play games, and if he was just telling me he enjoyed the weekend to be polite, then I'd rather hear about it now. But he still maintains that he really likes me, wants to see me again and we have another visit planned for a couple of weeks time.

    I just can't help but wonder if perhaps he's not as into me as he's letting on. Is it normal for a person to grow slightly cold this quickly? Perhaps I'm reading too much into things, but it's my gut instinct that this may not be going anywhere and part of me wants to run away from it now, before I get in deeper, while the other part of me still wants to give it a chance because I really do like this guy.

    Any thoughts?

    I think you might be reading too much into things or maybe he felt it was all a bit too quick too fast?

    I reckon you should go and see him again for the weekend and see how that goes then after that make a desicion. If your gut instinct is still telling you that he's not interested/ not going any where then don't make any more effort with him until he contacts you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It might not sound very helpful but... go with the flow. If that makes sense.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    xicoperez wrote: »
    It might not sound very helpful but... go with the flow. If that makes sense.

    Actually, that does make rather a lot of sense, thank you. And it's exactly what I'm doing as we speak. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I wouldn't make too much of it really. You had a good time. Maybe he wanted to slow things down a little on the second day? You don't have to go full-pelt all the time. Take it easy. I think if he had "gone off" you you'd not be speaking at all by now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe the first day he was trying to impress you then when he was on the laptop and all that he was being his normal self if that makes sense. Like Mist said, if he wasnt interested he definately wouldnt be in contact with you! Good luck :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you might be reading too much into it, personally I don't see the attraction of stupid videos on YouTube but some people spend a lot of time on it so he probably thought you'd enjoy it and like Lucasinio said just being himself. Would he have any reason to hold back from getting too intimate?
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