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Good old "liking someone with an arsehole boyfriend" post
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Lol well the title is abit short for the whole story so bare with the babbling on 
Right so, girl at uni on my course who i've been mates with since i started. Started off just being nice, usual friendly stuff back then. I knew she had a boyfriend and at the time i didn't really think much other then friends and what not.
Buy anyway we became really good friends, we chat everyday on MSN, text etc etc and recently she's been saying its abit weird now between us cos she feels we are getting closer. Which is quite true really, we've always had a kind of flirty side to things. Not like over the top and i won't bother going into it but its obvious she likes me and i like her by how we are together.
We had abit of heart to heart the other day and she was saying how much i mean the world to her and make her happy and how she feels lost if she hasn't chatted to me in the day. I've not known her THAT long and she's kind of taken to me being her best mate now, she can talk to me about everything even more so then her home mates. Maybe cos im a uni friend in a way so im not overly involved in her home life unlike her friends so makes it easier to chat to me.
But now its kind of getting to that slightly awkward stage. She has a boyfriend but theres nothing there between them anymore, she even said she is just like a mate to him now. And from the way we've talked and that she isn't happy. He has a bad temper and gets angry easily so she gets upset alot of the time. But she seems to be stuck in a situation where she isn't really willing to do anything about it.
Just makes it awkward as i say, we've both expressed how we like each other now and thats in the open but its different now. Everytime i speak to her seems she to be holding back abit, understandable i guess just sucks abit. We've done the good old drunken texting malarky .. alot and it cropped up one night that she wanted to come over to stay the night .. i just took it as drunken flirtyness but the next day it came up again.
I dunno, hmm bad idea really isn't it? I'm not the sort of person to get involved like that but i dunno. Just annoys the hell out of me how she stucks with an arsehole of a guy who treats her like shit.
Anyway lol, ramble over
Right so, girl at uni on my course who i've been mates with since i started. Started off just being nice, usual friendly stuff back then. I knew she had a boyfriend and at the time i didn't really think much other then friends and what not.
Buy anyway we became really good friends, we chat everyday on MSN, text etc etc and recently she's been saying its abit weird now between us cos she feels we are getting closer. Which is quite true really, we've always had a kind of flirty side to things. Not like over the top and i won't bother going into it but its obvious she likes me and i like her by how we are together.
We had abit of heart to heart the other day and she was saying how much i mean the world to her and make her happy and how she feels lost if she hasn't chatted to me in the day. I've not known her THAT long and she's kind of taken to me being her best mate now, she can talk to me about everything even more so then her home mates. Maybe cos im a uni friend in a way so im not overly involved in her home life unlike her friends so makes it easier to chat to me.
But now its kind of getting to that slightly awkward stage. She has a boyfriend but theres nothing there between them anymore, she even said she is just like a mate to him now. And from the way we've talked and that she isn't happy. He has a bad temper and gets angry easily so she gets upset alot of the time. But she seems to be stuck in a situation where she isn't really willing to do anything about it.
Just makes it awkward as i say, we've both expressed how we like each other now and thats in the open but its different now. Everytime i speak to her seems she to be holding back abit, understandable i guess just sucks abit. We've done the good old drunken texting malarky .. alot and it cropped up one night that she wanted to come over to stay the night .. i just took it as drunken flirtyness but the next day it came up again.
I dunno, hmm bad idea really isn't it? I'm not the sort of person to get involved like that but i dunno. Just annoys the hell out of me how she stucks with an arsehole of a guy who treats her like shit.
Anyway lol, ramble over
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Comments
Just don't pressure it, I am sure she still has a lot of thinking to do and pressuring the issue usually turns the odds against you, as far as I learned. I think you just need to keep going, maybe let off for a little bit and after some time, when the situation gets clearer, make your move.
But what do I know
Cunt
Also wathc out for becoming the interrim guy (using you to get over her BF).
If she's daft enough to fancy you :razz: then she'll be daft enough to BE with you and ditch the filth she's with at the moment.
But quite is a lot is at stake here with her ex, although he might not treat her as best as you could - she might still be swallowed up on the history between them both and the familiarity (not that I am condoning that it's the right situation for her to be in, it's clearly not!) it's sometimes difficult to do the decent thing and walk away. So cut her some slack for a bit.
BUT!!!!!
Just don't let her use you as something to break up the monotony(sp?) of her relationship. Aaaaaaaand you will perhaps need to face that it is going to be painstakingly annoying that she might not want to do anything to break up anytime soon with her current cockface bloke. The longer she might do this the less you'll like her for obvious reasons so be prepared that she might also not be your friend for much longer.
But if you need an ear to chew, robshoveryerknobinthegob, you can chew on mine. x
Anyway i'm gonna stop being so text mad and such and leave it for a few days. Don't wanna be an eager beaver etc etc
Cheers though
But if she cheats on him with you, who's saying she wouldn't cheat on you later?
Mate, the girl I'm kinda seeing right now, well my situation with her was pretty much exactly the same as yours. I hadn't known her for as long, but we got real close, real quick due to spending every day with eachother and sharing beds e.t.c...
Basically I was in the same situation and I ended up getting with her and now I'm going over to Aus to see her, so I reckon you got a chance man, you just got to make her realise what she wants and what she's missing out on.
Well not exactly said that in those words but i think she knows it. Don't wanna pressure her or owt thats the thing. I think she knows all to well what would happen if she did come over, think thats why shes so undecided about what to do. Ah well we will see what happens eh
Cheers
If however, you just fancy her and just want to rescue her from the nasty boyfriend then forget it. If your friendship is that good then you'll understand when the time is right she will leave him simply because she wants to and has the courage by herself to do it, like giving up smoking, not because a hot guy friend wants to be with her.
That made sense to me anyway, which doesn't say a lot I know, sorry...
Yep thats how it is basically, made perfect sense
Probably for the best i guess. Really dunno how long its gonna last though, cos im really shit at the whole no talking/texting thing. Shit though, really liked her as well.
Overall i'd prefer going for a new person, its a lot less effort than fixing problems. Its a numbers game after all.
Btw try not to become needy, give urself a day off from each other at least. it will do you good.
I'd like to hear from you soon
Cruz :thumb:
She hasn't broken up with him lol
But anyway yeh i know, all you've said is true. Just see what happens i spose
Just thought i'd write some junk here, get it off my chest. Heads been abit mashed last few days.
All been too weird lately, shes become alot more distant now and everytime i have talked to her she just seems not the same.
I asked her what was up and shes saying shes just trying to be sensible, which i understand but i dunno i don't like it at all
Just someone to talk to and she feels she can't do that anymore, i don't know why though. In her words, " when i felt really really really bad before i could just text you and you would distract me but i now i can't and now its all magnified when your not there because you were the only one that was ever there"
Its really getting to me how she seems to think she has used me and is feeling guilty about it. I used her aggggges ago to talk about the previous girl i was with and she helped big time to get things through my head. I just thought mates did that kind of thing. Though i suppose we got alot closer recently.
Was chatting to her again last night and she mentioned how her bloke hit her again a few days back
Dunno how to go about it now, she's saying all this stuff about oh im sorry for coming into your life and if im alone no one hurts but me. Silly stuff. Shite.
Unfortunately I don't have much advice. I guess I'd just fade away and try to pick up contact later on, maybe after she split with her bf, or something.
Well not alot i can really do anymore to be honest, i've said all i can, let her know all i feel and all that. She just doesn't seem to be taking any of it in. Will just leave here be for a while, maybe time with no contact will show her .. probably not.
On the subject, it's a feeling I know all too well now.