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Realising you want to break up
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've realised i want and maybe need to break up with my gf of 2 years.
There's no question i love her more than anyone else and it will kill me to do it but i've realised i'm too accepting and i feel like i'm losing my life. She has a nice caring saide to her and a very self involved selfish bitter personality on the other which i've accepted as part of her for so long but as time goes on i'm noticing haw far she can go in her selfish thinking and how her priorities differ from mine and others.
In the future, even though i love ehr so much, it's horrible to think i'm part of that and her priorities will probably never change.
Lately i've been excited about the thought of being elsewhere and even met up with an ex.
The thing is i've got double standards because i would be hurt to the core if i thought she felt like this, but i've got reason to.
I don't want to make out she's a horrible person and she's the reason i want to finish it, but what do i say?
I don't want to hurt her and it's seriously going to kill me too but it ihnk it has to happen.
How would you break it to someone you love that you don't want to be with them forever anymore?
There's no question i love her more than anyone else and it will kill me to do it but i've realised i'm too accepting and i feel like i'm losing my life. She has a nice caring saide to her and a very self involved selfish bitter personality on the other which i've accepted as part of her for so long but as time goes on i'm noticing haw far she can go in her selfish thinking and how her priorities differ from mine and others.
In the future, even though i love ehr so much, it's horrible to think i'm part of that and her priorities will probably never change.
Lately i've been excited about the thought of being elsewhere and even met up with an ex.
The thing is i've got double standards because i would be hurt to the core if i thought she felt like this, but i've got reason to.
I don't want to make out she's a horrible person and she's the reason i want to finish it, but what do i say?
I don't want to hurt her and it's seriously going to kill me too but it ihnk it has to happen.
How would you break it to someone you love that you don't want to be with them forever anymore?
0
Comments
I guess a relationship is like a chain. As soon as there is one weak link (i.e. doubts), it's very certain going to rip, may it take a week, may it take a month.
If you are playing with the thought, and you really thought it through with all the pro's and all the con's and your opinion still stands, then there is really no use in being in denial, as it will haunt you as long as you are in this relationship.
Useless to mention: If you are just breaking up with her solely for an ex, that would be (most of the times) a stupid idea, but I guess you have mainly other reasons.
Do it, if you think it's right.
In regard to your last question: I have no clue. I have an opinion on most things, even if I am just speculating, but breaking up is a territory I don't feel particularly adept.
All I can say is, make your decision so irrevocable that at least you are a fixed point in this break-up conversation. I reckon it sucks even more, making your plans clear to her and she manages to beg you back. Tell her what's wrong, tell her you need space and need to break up. Do that - like I said - after you are completely certain and don't take this breakup convo as a basis for your decision to really leave now, or not.
We split up some time ago and i swore i wouldn't get back with her, but i did and my friends asked me after everything i'd said they couldn't understand why i got back with her and to be honest i couldn't give an answer. It was starring me in the face the type of person she is and i just ignored it again thinking i was in control and i'm back here again.
How can you split with someone you love so much? I know it's the right thing to do, i'm just terrified.
Good luck, just do what you feel is right and have no regrets.