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Smoking?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You could just commence a conversation about smoking in general and then ask if he ever thought about quitting. Some people really like smoking, so don't even bother to try to make him quit. If he's annoyed by it, but can't stop because of addiction, well, then you can further talk about it, go see a specialist about it, etc etc.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    I don't think I could be emotionally involved with someone who smokes... it would be too much of a strain for me. For friends, I sort of shut out the matter...
    And my curse is that every woman I think is attractive, turns out to be a smoker. And the few who don't aren't single either.

    Ahem. Sorry for the unhelpful post...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Like Strubbles said, try to bring up a conversation about smoking and go from there.

    I don't think its unfair to ask if he'd consider it. Its unfair to pressure him, but he might not have realised how much it bothers you. You never know til you ask him.

    My ex used to smoke :yuck: I've never going to kiss a smoker again.

    I told him I didn't like kissing him after he had been smoking. He asked me if I wanted him to quit. I did really, but I told him that he was an adult and had to decide that for himself, but I didn't want to kiss him when he'd been smoking. He quit :D

    He didn't smoke much though, so don't think it was a big issue for him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Pringle wrote: »
    I don't think its unfair to ask if he'd consider it. Its unfair to pressure him, but he might not have realised how much it bothers you. You never know til you ask him.

    I agree with Pringle there. I'm a smoker and my most recent ex wasn't. He didn't like me smoking, but he never put pressure on me to stop. He did, however, ask me if I'd consider quitting, or at least cutting down, and when I said that I would try to quit for him he was by my side throughout, lending support and encouragement.

    I'd recommend discussing it with your boyfriend, maybe even tell him that you're concerned that he's smoking more than usual, and ask him if he'd consider cutting down again, at the very least. Eventually, should he want to, he'll be more able to quit if he's smoking less.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I smoke and wouldn't think it unfair if a partner asked. There's a difference between asking and being nasty or offering ultimatums so just approach it carefully, not sure about the wording, maybe say how smoke effects you rather than a sort of accusation of their smoking effecting you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    ... There's a difference between asking and being nasty or offering ultimatums so just approach it carefully ...

    :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just bring it up in conversation and see what he says, don't demand that he stop smoking in a nasty way or anything, just casually talk about it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Indrid Cold wrote: »
    I don't think I could be emotionally involved with someone who smokes...

    :crying:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my boyfriend asked me to quit. because it was affecting my health and he personally hates it. so i did, but i asked for his help and support and he did that. its not too much to ask.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Once again I agree with the aforewritten posts, but be really gentle about it. I know people who really are enjoying smoking and asking them to quit out of the blue might really piss them off, as if are taking their bread and water. It's actually a difficult topic and I've never been with someone who smokes, so I never had to handle such a situation.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've quite smoking for a month :yippe: but was cuddled up to a certain somebody at a rave who realised I was a smoker and told me I'll die. In a weird way, kinda made me think as whilst I wouldn't really smoke around non smokers who didn't like it, I never thought of how it would affect a partner.

    I could date somebody who smoked if they didn't do it constantly and get sick a lot. My only issue is the health one, I used to see a chick who smoked a lot of pot and had bad lungs and got out of breath easily. I am a very active and energetic monkey myself, so I'd need somebody with my energy levels.

    I don't get people who say they would never date a smoker, somebody with tattoos, a meat eater, a vegan, a Christian, somebody who uses pills, a cat person ect... You can't help who you fall for and if that person looks after themselves, so what?
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Namaste wrote: »
    I don't get people who say they would never date a smoker, somebody with tattoos, a meat eater, a vegan, a Christian, somebody who uses pills, a cat person ect... You can't help who you fall for and if that person looks after themselves, so what?
    If this was directed (partly) at me and what I said above didn't explain it well enough, let me say it again: It's not because of "what kind of person they are", it's only because I couldn't handle it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my ex was an ex smoker when we got together then started again about three months into the relationship. I hated the way it made him smell and just couldn't be around him after he had been smoking coz the smell made me feel sick, unless i had been smoking too ( i only smoke when i'm drinking and not so much these days). i ended up telling him how much i hated the smell and he just stopped smoking when he was seeing me. Problem was solved.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont think its unfair, I wouldnt date a smoker if I could help it. I dont let smoking in my flat either so..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can ask him, but be warned he may well refuse.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    AThiefAWhoreAndALiar wrote: »
    Well next time i see him im going to bring it up, Regardless of what he says i'm probably going to ask him not to smoke around me, cause i hate it.

    I know theres a chance he'll refuse, but im prepared for that, i just want to bring up the issue to see, and i've said all along, it wouldn't be something i'd force or manipulate him into with all the "if you loved me you would" stuff. And i definately wouldn't be a dick about it

    Thanks for all the opinions, i just wanted to to see if it would be well out of order to suggest it.

    I think asking him to not smoke around you is completely ok, imho. You won't confine him in his right to smoke, but it's understandably that you don't want to have it around you. If someone wanted to smoke in my flat, s/he'd have to stand at the open window too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Indrid Cold wrote: »
    If this was directed (partly) at me
    No... anyone.
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