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Annoyed with friend
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
One of my close friends has been really annoying recently. Since January I've noticed it, she only ever talks to me - late night texts or whatever - if something is wrong. Or if she needs to talk about herself. It's like the whole social aspect from our friendship is gone.
Her bf was my best friend long before she went out with him - she was going out with me for about a year first then changed her mind. I was alright with it actually as I wasn't fussed about her, but she was incredibly possessive of my friend, not letting him see us or whatever. Eventually it weaned off a bit and I guess we got used to it, but it was alright.
But if I'm away at uni now, she'll text me saying he's gone out and she's missing him, and I really can't be fucked. We are good friends now, btw - this was all years ago. Then if we see each other face to face, she can talk literally uninterrupted for an hour about herself. If someone changes the subject, she'll say how she did that, or how her boyfriend did that, and focus attention on her again.
I'm just so sick of it now, and I just wanna see my mate and hang out with him, without her because there hasn't been a single time I've seen him and not her in the last 4 years. In fact, a single time I've seen any of my friends really and not her, since she has an urgent need to be the centre of attention.
I don't know why but I can't stand it recently. This is the same friend who was being really funny about the holiday, and 'allocating' herself the master bedroom without asking anyone. And then when we changed our mind to camping, I said we needed a bigger tent and she kicked up a fuss, then she went out and found a tent and told us all which one we were getting - she just needs to be in charge!
Argh there's so many little things and I can't stand her right now, I don't know why :banghead: I think it's because I never -don't- see her. If I come on MSN she has something 'new' and 'interesting' to tell me about her life, if I see any of my friends she's always there - on the occasions she's not in person she'll be texting every few minutes.
I don't even know what I'm asking...
Her bf was my best friend long before she went out with him - she was going out with me for about a year first then changed her mind. I was alright with it actually as I wasn't fussed about her, but she was incredibly possessive of my friend, not letting him see us or whatever. Eventually it weaned off a bit and I guess we got used to it, but it was alright.
But if I'm away at uni now, she'll text me saying he's gone out and she's missing him, and I really can't be fucked. We are good friends now, btw - this was all years ago. Then if we see each other face to face, she can talk literally uninterrupted for an hour about herself. If someone changes the subject, she'll say how she did that, or how her boyfriend did that, and focus attention on her again.
I'm just so sick of it now, and I just wanna see my mate and hang out with him, without her because there hasn't been a single time I've seen him and not her in the last 4 years. In fact, a single time I've seen any of my friends really and not her, since she has an urgent need to be the centre of attention.
I don't know why but I can't stand it recently. This is the same friend who was being really funny about the holiday, and 'allocating' herself the master bedroom without asking anyone. And then when we changed our mind to camping, I said we needed a bigger tent and she kicked up a fuss, then she went out and found a tent and told us all which one we were getting - she just needs to be in charge!
Argh there's so many little things and I can't stand her right now, I don't know why :banghead: I think it's because I never -don't- see her. If I come on MSN she has something 'new' and 'interesting' to tell me about her life, if I see any of my friends she's always there - on the occasions she's not in person she'll be texting every few minutes.
I don't even know what I'm asking...
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Comments
don't respond to her texts and delete them as they come in, shouldn't be much bother. Otherwise you could text back, "hey, would you kindly not spam me with texts all the time. I'll be on MSN later anyway."
on msn you don't even need to look at her chat window once, or tell her you are away from keyboard, having dinner or something.
talk about it with ya mate whos with her that it's annoying you and that he shall gently let her know about it?
I cant help being annoyed and I don't know why. I guess I just need space from her.
You've hit the nail on the head there. Friendships are difficult - harder than intimate relationships sometimes - because it's difficult to tell a friend you need "space". They're more likely to ask questions, and the questions are harder to answer.
But your other friends are obviously equally as important in your life than she may be, and if she were a real friend she would not make it so hard for you to spend time with them on your own.
Tell her you need space from her for a while. Tell her you miss seeing your other friends, and as much as you appreciate her friendship (lie about that if you have to :crazyeyes), you also need time to see other people as well.
She may be pretty pissed off initially, but I think it's what your relationship needs.